I know he's gonna be looked after s d he likes them but I feel like I've let him down by leaving him when he needs me. I'm weak because I can't do this week again. I'm gonna lose him whilst I'm away and I won't be there for him.
I'm driving myself crazy over this
Sonya,
listen to me. Right now I don't think you are not psychologically able to go through this another week. Re-read your post - you said it yourself.
There's a very good chance, given the most recent numbers, that he will still be there when you get back.....BUT...
He needs to be taken to the vets for fluid treatments 2 - 3 times a week, (more even he needs it) and if he's not eating enough...they can syringe feed him. They can tube feed him. IV feed him.
It's important to keep the creatinine and BUN numbers down (It's okay if they're not normal/healthy - just low enough to keep him feeling okay)...that has a lot to do with appetite. FLUIDS!
Tell the in-laws and vets (I know you're leaving in the morning... you can leave a voice mail) to keep him going another week.
And there's also a chance that Buster will benefit from having less worried and stressed caretakers this week. Remember, the vet himself even said that he didn't think it was time for euthanasia.
Unless something new crops up, I
truly believe he's got a good chance of being there when you get back - your in laws and vets must be on board with this. They can provide the medical support he may need.
But Sonya, if you honestly think you can't live with yourself if you go on this trip (I know you have a husband and have to take that into consideration) then don't go.
I'm concerned with your level of stress, also wondering if you feel supported by the people around you in the UK. You need to take care of yourself.
And you have NOT failed Buster. Absolutely have NOT failed him.
Check your pm.