Post your Gripe

[Zany_in_CO]

His response: "just close their door"

So? What's the worse case scenario if you had done that?

Megan, dear heart, I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I'm worried about you taking care of you. You are in serious overload and heading for total burnout. And when that happens, you're no good to anyone, including yourself.

There are no easy answers. I suggest you take a Time Out. If you can't sit down and talk with your hubby about what you need from him then you might want to see someone on your own to help you get through this period. It's not going to last forever, but you could sure use some help getting through it.

 

[Megan]

So? What's the worse case scenario if you had done that?

I guess I just worry about leaving them alone while he's still sleeping and not knowing when he will get up to care for them, especially in that state, where they are upset anyway.

I fear that my original post sounded like I was having an existential crisis. While depression is something that I've battled for years, and I probably could use to see a therapist, I'm not currently in the mind set where I don't want to be "here". I was referring to my current job, and how frustrated I am that even when I reach out for feedback, I get crickets... really, I'm stuck here a year with my contract...but if things don't improve I'm prepared to leave. I luckily have several fall back options so for that I'm grateful.

 

[Nona'sFarm]

W

I feel like I'm being a negative Nancy lately...this morning my twins had an hour long meltdown getting ready for preschool. Normally it's just one at a time if someone is throwing a temper tantrum but today there must have been something in the air because they were both having a fit. They ran out the clock on when we would have had to leave so that I could have been to work on time, so I go down to tell my husband (still sleeping) that he has to take them this morning. His response: "just close their door"...my response "I guess I'll just be late for work". Fifteen minutes later he finally gets up to help and I'm like well I'm already late so I might as well just take them!

Being late to work isn't a huge deal...I'll just make up the time, as I'm forever in debt with this company for taking care of sick kids, etc. anyway...plus, no one is getting anything to me in terms of feedback or what I need to be doing anyway so most of my time at work feels wasted...which makes me wonder if there's any point to even being here.

Wow! You need a night out or lunch with friends to be able to vent some on a regular basis. I remember those pre-school years, they're tough - especially when trying to get children somewhere on time. And it was not unusual for me to end up at work with oatmeal somewhere on my shirt. Hang in there, but get some "me-time" wherever you can work it in. Maybe brain-storm with hubby on how to relieve you on a regular basis. Keep us posted, this is a stressful time of year, know that you have many soapy sisters pulling for you!

 

[Zany_in_CO]

I just worry about leaving them alone while he's still sleeping and not knowing when he will get up to care for them,

That's a "control" issue on your part. Moms often feel they know what's best for the kiddos. We parents all go through that. But, as my dear hubby once said to me, "there's more than one way to skin a cat". If you can let go, let him do things his way, without judging his style of parenting, you will both be better off.

Try it. Give him notice that, as of Monday, you will no longer be taking the twins to day care. They need their Daddy to be there for them too.

And, geeze Louise, you're smart enough to know you don't need feedback when you're doing the very best you know how to do. You'll get plenty of feedback if you mess up, but I doubt you're that kind of employee. Sounds to me like you want a pat on the back for the good work you are doing. Be happy and give one to yourself. I know it's hard to go to work when your efforts aren't appreciated. Just let it go. If you're satisfied, that should be enough.

Hug.

 

[dibbles]

"I guess I'll just be late for work". Fifteen minutes later he finally gets up to help and I'm like well I'm already late so I might as well just take them!

Oh, the preschool years - they can be challenging. I understand not wanting to leave your little ones alone, unsupervised for an undetermined amount of time. I wouldn't want to do that either. But maybe when your hubby got up, you should have just gone to work and let him take the kids. If he knows that waiting will result in you handling everything, he will just continue to do what he does.

I wasn't perfect. I can remember trying to get myself and the kids ready to go somewhere. I'd have to start way before it was time to leave, pack the diaper bag, make sure there were things to play with in the car and wherever we were going, snacks, extra clothes if eating was involved or pj's if it we were getting home later, and DON'T FORGET LINNIE!!! Plus get the kids dressed and ready to go, me showered and dressed and ready to go, and hubby hops in the shower 15 minutes before we were to leave. It's frustrating. I should have told him to be in charge of one or more of those things. I'm sure he would have helped, and it didn't occur to him I needed it.

 

[Megan]

you don't need feedback when you're doing the very best you know how to do. You'll get plenty of feedback if you mess up, but I doubt you're that kind of employee. Sounds to me like you want a pat on the back for the good work you are doing.

I don't need a pat on the back (there has been a bit much of that for me already and attention makes me uncomfortable)...

Actually, I genuinely need feedback about the products that I'm developing. This company has no new product development team, just me...and our lab doesn't allow for much testing. So I send test products out to a few technicians and then I don't hear anything back. I mean I guess no news is good news but then I have no idea what to do next.

Give him notice that, as of Monday, you will no longer be taking the twins to day care. They need their Daddy to be there for them too.

I really do need to make my husband help more with the kids, and I do have a plan now of how to handle situations like this. I still probably wouldn't leave them unsupervised for an undetermined amount of time. In similar situations in the past I've brought them into "wake up" daddy with their tantruming and I don't know why I didn't think of this this particular time...I guess I was just having a flustered day. Hubby has also since earned a few points showing up to a school event that he originally told me he wasn't going to.

I don't think that every day is going to happen, but I definitely need to put my foot down about a more even division of childcare when he expects me to work as much as he does (and tidy the house).

But maybe when your hubby got up, you should have just gone to work and let him take the kids

Yeah, in retrospect...I agree there.

Wow! You need a night out or lunch with friends to be able to vent some on a regular basis.

I'm working on it! I have a budding friendship with another twin mom in a similar situation and I am hoping that we can both make some positive changes concerning self-care. I've been on here lately a lot too and it really does help (and not just the gripe forum!). This community is one of my favorite soap community's online.

 

[dibbles]

I have a budding friendship with another twin mom in a similar situation and I am hoping that we can both make some positive changes concerning self-care.

This will help you so much.

 

[cmzaha]

When your dumb and yes she is very dumb as a rock cat makes a pinhole in your free-flow waterbed mattress because she will not stop sleeping on it. It always amazes me how much water can leak from a pinhole. We are in process of draining the mattress so we can patch the hole, put in a new heater and liner while we had the mattress drained. Probably should have just ordered a new mattress.

 

[shunt2011]

When your dumb and yes she is very dumb as a rock cat makes a pinhole in your free-flow waterbed mattress because she will not stop sleeping on it. It always amazes me how much water can leak from a pinhole. We are in process of draining the mattress so we can patch the hole, put in a new heater and liner while we had the mattress drained. Probably should have just ordered a new mattress.

I had a cat put several puncture holes in a water bed a very long time ago. What a mess. We had been gone for a long weekend and there were about 8-10 pin holes. Good thing the frame contained the extra water. That was the end of the water bed.

 

[Lin19687]

My cat did that when I was a teen. But only had a pin hole a few times. Those patches they sell work very well.
Oh I should say Used to sell, that was back in the late 70's/80's

Do they still sell waterbeds? The ones without the baffles or hard sides?
I want another one when I buy a new house

 

[cmzaha]

My cat did that when I was a teen. But only had a pin hole a few times. Those patches they sell work very well.
Oh I should say Used to sell, that was back in the late 70's/80's

Do they still sell waterbeds? The ones without the baffles or hard sides?
I want another one when I buy a new house

Yes, you can still purchase free flow waterbed mattresses. We have never had anything other than free flow waterbeds since we were married in 1972 and have always had cats. This is only the second pinhole from a cat sleeping on our waterbed. I patched it but did order a new mattress just in case the patch does not hold. We were going to drain the bed anyway to needing to change the heater and put in a new liner, so dummies' timing was okay with the pinhole. I ordered from Waterbedoutlet.com

 

[melinda48]

I guess I just worry about leaving them alone while he's still sleeping and not knowing when he will get up to care for them, especially in that state, where they are upset anyway.

I fear that my original post sounded like I was having an existential crisis. While depression is something that I've battled for years, and I probably could use to see a therapist, I'm not currently in the mind set where I don't want to be "here". I was referring to my current job, and how frustrated I am that even when I reach out for feedback, I get crickets... really, I'm stuck here a year with my contract...but if things don't improve I'm prepared to leave. I luckily have several fall back options so for that I'm grateful.

Next time he says to just shut the door, be sure the children are in the room with him - then shut the door. He will get up and take them to wherever they need to be. That evening talk to him about how difficult it is to deal with the twins when they are both acting out. Hopefully, there can be consequences when they misbehave.

At work, ask for feedback from your supervisor. Have you considered that you do your job so well that your supervisor doesnt think you need any feedback?

 

[cmzaha]

When the Edison Company informs us they going to shut down our electricity on Wed before Thanksgiving. Did it ever occur to the idiots that some folks do their Thanksgiving baking the day before Thanksgiving? I just bet they could have picked another day to work on our lines for the 3rd or 4th time.

 

[msunnerstood]

Norovirus. 2nd time its happened to me around Thanksgiving and this time, the only place ive been recently is Walmart. With so many people out buying last minute items for the holiday (And ahead of an approaching blizzard) I can imagine thats where I got it. Just woke up from my morning Coma and am soo tired, week.. and icky in "Other" ways.

I'd put a good old fashion Irish curse on whomever gave it to me but I have to believe they are already suffering enough..

 

[Dawni]

@msunnerstood I was just wondering how you were doing.. Hope you get better sooner hehe

 

[Megan]

Norovirus. 2nd time its happened to me around Thanksgiving and this time, the only place ive been recently is Walmart. With so many people out buying last minute items for the holiday (And ahead of an approaching blizzard) I can imagine thats where I got it. Just woke up from my morning Coma and am soo tired, week.. and icky in "Other" ways.

I'd put a good old fashion Irish curse on whomever gave it to me but I have to believe they are already suffering enough..

I hope you feel better soon!

For the longest time I would avoid going out in public or eating at restaurants in winter because of Noro. Now I'm just a compulsive hand washer.

 

[msunnerstood]

I hope you feel better soon!

For the longest time I would avoid going out in public or eating at restaurants in winter because of Noro. Now I'm just a compulsive hand washer.

They normally have those disinfectant wipes so you can wipe down the cart but they were out that day

 

[Dawni]

PMS

Nuff said

But let's add a cranky toddler, a stubborn grandma, overzealous dogs, a cat who keeps bringing home his girlfriend and a teenager with "selective deafness"

Yeah.. So not my day today

 

[melinda48]

Norovirus. 2nd time its happened to me around Thanksgiving and this time, the only place ive been recently is Walmart. With so many people out buying last minute items for the holiday (And ahead of an approaching blizzard) I can imagine thats where I got it. Just woke up from my morning Coma and am soo tired, week.. and icky in "Other" ways.

I'd put a good old fashion Irish curse on whomever gave it to me but I have to believe they are already suffering enough..

Norovirus isn’t killed with hand sanitizer, so you must practice very good hand-washing.

 

[msunnerstood]

Norovirus isn’t killed with hand sanitizer, so you must practice very good hand-washing.

I do, but you cant really wash your hands at the store. It doesnt take much to pick it up.
I used to be a RNA so I always do the hand wash I was taught and very often.