Oh my. Smart move considering the circumstances and the stress you are under. You're NOT a coward. Just make sure she knows your door is always open to her. Then hope and pray that, in time, she comes around. She may discover that she does not want to lose you because of this. Good sisters, even when they disagree, are hard to come by!EDTA: I just discovered in the end mom and my stepdad more than took care of us as we took care of them. Sadly this will most likely cause a huge rift between my sister and me. I am a coward and left this to my attorney to tell her.
@cmzaha.....The loss of a Mom tears a huge piece from the heart! In due time, I pray that your heart will mend and all you will have are wonderful memories of your Mom. Allow yourself to mourn so that you can give your spirit healing and peace.You are good Earlene I already strayed from my own thread. Sadly, I have no friends left on this side of the grass and no one to talk to about anything and my kids are of course not good to discuss some issues with.
I hate the fact that 1/2 a house will cost us again. I always believed I would have to sell the house my mom evicted my kids from and I am temporarily living in would have to be sold and shared. Nope, it has been left to me plus the other house, my moms, and my sister always wanted. She gets the other house on the hill, which I think mom knew would be sold and mom knew I would not sell her house. I had nothing to do with this since my husband and I have never asked or taken a thing from my parents. That is all on my sister, who is already asking for her inheritance. Sorry too much information.
Same here. I know the feeling. At this advanced age, I always imagined I would be sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch with my best friend, my dear hubby or any one of a number of absent friends and watching the world go by, at peace and at ease. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.Sadly, I have no friends left on this side of the grass and no one to talk to about anything and my kids are of course not good to discuss some issues with.
A dear old man once told me, "They say the molasses is in the bottom of the cup, but it's not true."Same here. I know the feeling. At this advanced age, I always imagined I would be sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch with my best friend, my dear hubby or any one of a number of absent friends and watching the world go by, at peace and at ease. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.
There's nothing that prepares you for being the last survivor of those that saw you through the best of times and the worst of times. I don't know why they call it the "Golden Age"... it's anything but golden.
Hah-rumpf! I don't know why some siblings take that attitude when you're doing all the work! It isn't easy even in the best of circumstances. If he's not willing to show up and give you a hand then he should accept the fact that you're doing the best you can and he should be grateful for you for taking on what is an overwhelming task.He said he would’ve had it all cleaned out in a couple weeks with a couple dumpsters.
I'll be 61 in a couple of weeks...life is NOT what I had imagined it to be at this age either. I'm estranged from my youngest sister. Both of my parents are gone...Mom 20 years, Dad 17. Never thought I would get divorced. And when I did, figured I'd probably remarry in five years; took three engagements and twenty years. Had planned to retire and travel the country in an RV like my grandparents did, but that's not going to happen; hubby had a bad reaction to radiation therapy and is disabled to the extent that he wouldn't be able to drive, wouldn't be able to help set up/tear down and can only do short trips and limited activities. Thought that with four kids I would have a passel of grandkids...I have three. But I'm totally cool with that since they are the ones that have to raise them so it's up to them.Same here. I know the feeling. At this advanced age, I always imagined I would be sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch with my best friend, my dear hubby or any one of a number of absent friends and watching the world go by, at peace and at ease. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.
That part is hard. Like my mother I am not sentimental about things, they are just things. I had to start cleaning out her house when we moved her to a care facility to get it ready to rent, which did not actually happen. sadly she did have beautiful furniture in excellent condition but not the style I want and cannot sell it, which I have tried to do for 2 months. I kept the few things I wanted and my sister took what she wanted, which was mainly what she felt would be of value. My memories are in my heart, having lived and worked next to my mother we were very close. Now I can move out of state with a semi-clear conscience. Still going to be hard to leave one daughter and granddaughter here.I’m very sorry to hear of your loss @cmzaha Lost my mom one year ago. I miss her terribly and I’m struggling with cleaning out and liquidating her estate. Her home was filled with things that were so dear to her. I don’t have the space to keep much and I have a brother who hasn’t bothered with my parents for 40 years. He moved away and only came back in the last couple days of their life but he wants me to get it done quick so he can enjoy the money. I would love to buy him out and live in her home and slowly part with her possessions as I decide what I want to keep but I can’t afford it. He is rushing me and threatening to get a lawyer if I don’t get it done soon. He said he would’ve had it all cleaned out in a couple weeks with a couple dumpsters. My parents home is filled to the brim with their stuff and much of it it’s not only sentimental for me but also has value. Not an easy task to accomplish coupled with the sadness and emotions. My heart goes out to you.
Same here... Traveling around the country in an RV to see family & distant friends we hadn't seen in the 44 years we had been married was high on the Bucket List! Unfortunately, that was not to be. DH was more or less incapacitated for 11 years from when he retired at age 76 until he passed away at age 87. He was diagnosed with 4th degree inoperable lung cancer and died 3 weeks later.Had planned to retire and travel the country in an RV like my grandparents did, but that's not going to happen; hubby had a bad reaction to radiation therapy and is disabled to the extent that he wouldn't be able to drive, wouldn't be able to help set up/tear down and can only do short trips and limited activities.
I saw this happen so often to my customers. They would wait for retirement and have so many plans and booms to lose their spouse. I have been so blessed to have my husband 50 yrs as of this month and still going. We were also so fortunate to have the opportunities to pretty much do what we wanted and travel. We were never rich but had a good life, with lots of fights and lots of love. I thinkSame here... Traveling around the country in an RV to see family & distant friends we hadn't seen in the 44 years we had been married was high on the Bucket List! Unfortunately, that was not to be. DH was more or less incapacitated for 11 years from when he retired at age 76 until he passed away at age 87. He was diagnosed with 4th degree inoperable lung cancer and died 3 weeks later.
It's no wonder that shortly thereafter, I was diagnosed with something called "Adrenal Fatigue Due to Chronic Stress". I have survived 2 heart attacks and 1 stroke. He died in November 2018. My bad luck that COVID Lock Down came 5 months later in March, 2019. I have been isolated since then. Alone and incredibly lonely.
As @cmzaha mentioned, "I have no friends left on this side of the grass and no one to talk to about anything" -- since my 7 adult children and step-children all have busy lives and no time for me. The stepson I was closest to, died of kidney failure 2 years after his father's death.
As often happens in large families when you ask a question like "Who forgot to take out the trash?" They all say "Not me!!!" and pass the responsibility onto another -- and you end up taking out the trash yourself.
There are no words to express how deeply they all are missed.
Ah hon! Massive bear hugs from me to you.Same here... Traveling around the country in an RV to see family & distant friends we hadn't seen in the 44 years we had been married was high on the Bucket List! Unfortunately, that was not to be. DH was more or less incapacitated for 11 years from when he retired at age 76 until he passed away at age 87. He was diagnosed with 4th degree inoperable lung cancer and died 3 weeks later.
It's no wonder that shortly thereafter, I was diagnosed with something called "Adrenal Fatigue Due to Chronic Stress". I have survived 2 heart attacks and 1 stroke. He died in November 2018. My bad luck that COVID Lock Down came 5 months later in March, 2019. I have been isolated since then. Alone and incredibly lonely.
As @cmzaha mentioned, "I have no friends left on this side of the grass and no one to talk to about anything" -- since my 7 adult children and step-children all have busy lives and no time for me. The stepson I was closest to, died of kidney failure 2 years after his father's death.
As often happens in large families when you ask a question like "Who forgot to take out the trash?" They all say "Not me!!!" and pass the responsibility onto another -- and you end up taking out the trash yourself.
There are no words to express how deeply they all are missed.
You're not being a coward, you're being incredible smart. You are not only protecting yourself legally, but you're protecting yourself emotionally and physically (our emotional well-being affects our physical self) from your sister's abuse. You're sister sounds similar to mine. She didn't want Mom's wedding rings for herself, she wanted them because she knew that I wanted them. If she had known that I wanted Mom's jewelry box, she would have kept that too, but as far as she was concerned, she was letting me have a piece of junk. She tried to take the porcelain dog that I had given to Mom one Christmas, but then she and older sister would have had to split everything they had taken by saying that they had given it to Mom. And the only reason why I got Mom's Cross Stitch stuff was because neither sister wanted it. The simple fact is...your sister may not want that million dollar house, but had it gone to you, you can bet dollars to donuts that she'd be fighting for it.EDTA: I just discovered in the end mom and my stepdad more than took care of us as we took care of them. Sadly this will most likely cause a huge rift between my sister and me. I am a coward and left this to my attorney to tell her.
I was surprised in a way by my sister's decisions regarding things Mum left. One of my daughters said she would use Mum's washing machine and my sister agreed. Then my daughter changed her mind and when my sister heard it she literally said: "If I knew it would go to her (that is I) I would not agree to it." And she would not want to say a final word regarding Mum's 100 years old sewing machine on which I learned to sew (and she newer used or ever learned to sew) until she finally realized she had no room to place it in and finally consented I could take it.The simple fact is...your sister may not want that million dollar house, but had it gone to you, you can bet dollars to donuts that she'd be fighting for it.
Me too!What drives such persons remains a mystery to me.
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