Is this rude?

[artemis]

It's hard to know tone when you are just reading what is written. My preference is to be brief and to the point. I think that some can read a "just the facts" response as being harsh.

 

[Tammyfarms]

It's hard to know tone when you are just reading what is written. My preference is to be brief and to the point. I think that some can read a "just the facts" response as being harsh.

I’m smiling because I’m usually the same. Just get to the point. Writing out something that’s *nice* often takes me a long time.

 

[MelissaG]

I have seen rudeness but the offenders were removed some time ago. (Quick thank-you to the admins.) Sometimes I think we need to get a feel for the members here, their experience and desire to help before judging.
One thing for sure, if someone asks for help they will receive really solid and helpful advice. I am on a couple FB groups that I am thinking of leaving as the advice is often awful and/or rude.
Before getting offended because advice was not asked for or what one wanted to hear, perhaps consider the experience level of the responder, why it was offered and if it could be true/helpful. Just my thoughts, take ‘em or leave ‘em.

I've had people be rude to me here. They actually upset me quite badly and have been since removed.

 

[Prysm]

I haven’t seen any disparaging remarks here. People on Reddit are incredibly rude and I have encouraged new soap makers to join our forum

I'd love to see links to that. Reddit can be...not nice.

It's hard to know tone when you are just reading what is written. My preference is to be brief and to the point. I think that some can read a "just the facts" response as being harsh.

And there is the crux of the issue. I've been using forums so long I don't want to admit the actual time period, but more often than not misunderstandings are based in how they are read, not necessarily what was said. There are exceptions, but at the end of the day, FORUMS ARE FUN. If you're not having fun, step back, breathe, move on.

 

[justsomeguy]

I haven’t seen any disparaging remarks here.

I have. It was so bad I'm now ignoring the individual. It wasn't directed at me. But... Really bad

 

[Hope Elisabeth 68]

I don't know about everyone, but I am on here to learn and so advice, even if not specifically asked for, is always welcome.

 

[Nona'sFarm]

I've had people be rude to me here. They actually upset me quite badly and have been since removed.

I really appreciate that about this forum - people are banned if they are hurtful or attack others. I don't know the process, but hopefully, if the transgression is not too egregious, a person is given a warning first. I know of at least one instance where one member was verbally attacking another member and I complained to the administrators. The attacker is no longer contributing, so I am guessing she was banned.
I love this forum, I have learned so much. Having the SEARCH function has been so helpful to me, especially when I want to try something new or have an issue. Before asking the group I usually devour all that I can from previous entries. And that leads me to my only complaint about those asking for input, many times their question has already been answered in previous posts, but they haven't used the search function to try to find the answer. Sorry, guess I'm just venting now, but thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so. As grandma used to say, " don't criticize until you've walked a mile in their shoes."

 

[artemis]

Before asking the group I usually devour all that I can from previous entries. And that leads me to my only complaint about those asking for input, many times their question has already been answered in previous posts, but they haven't used the search function to try to find the answer. Sorry, guess I'm just venting now, but thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so. As grandma used to say, " don't criticize until you've walked a mile in their shoes."

Oh, I agree-- that's a minor pet-peeve of mine. It's often so much faster to search than to wait for a response to a post! But, I'm impatient and want my answers right away

 

[melinda48]

Everyone has a different mode of communication; some are extremely direct and to the point while others tend to dance around the edges insuring their comments may not be taken wrong. My husband is a “direct speaker” while I tend more toward how to frame suggestions in a way that won’t be misinterpreted. Both ways work and we have a variety of folks here (as with any large group). Fortunately, living with “Mr. Direct” for over to years has taught me to appreciate every manner of response. I simply look for the answer, not the tone. I cannot think of a better place to go for advice/assistance/experience-led words of wisdom. Directness is not rudeness. I ask myself, “Did this answer my question”? If yes, I embrace it. If no, I move on to another answer.

 

[melinda48]

It was not you at all. I do know what ya mean.

You explained that perfectly!