If Only......

[CanaDawn]

Thanks CaraBou, I had seen the link on the main page, but then it wasn't there, and I wondered what was going on...

Yup, Lysol douches. Standard practice.
Yup, insane product claims. Also standard practice.

And if the products didn't work for you, you were disappointed that yours was a resilient case and you kept quiet about it, because who wants to stand up and say "My ungainly unfeminine ankles are refusing to respond to your product!" How unfeminine would THAT be?
I believe it was a time of great female angst in private, especially amongst those with the money to spend on such things. And of course, people are still swayed by a good campaign ("Use this extremely expensive skin care "regime" and watch the "signs of aging" fall away, revealing your true beauty" or by social pressure "Pluck your eyebrows/shave your legs/armits this way, or be seen as unfeminine"

No one has seen the scented tampons on the shelves now? Let's talk about how many levels of insanity that is....

 

[LunaSkye]

"Pluck your eyebrows/shave your legs/armits this way, or be seen as unfeminine"

I don't know, the armpits really do benefit from the shave on those off days you may have forgotten to put on deoderant...

No one has seen the scented tampons on the shelves now? Let's talk about how many levels of insanity that is....

I really think they came out with those some years back. I'm just glad the health classes from the yester-years scared me into not really using them. :smile:

 

[CanaDawn]

LOL, LunaSkye - I don't know either. I just know the pressure to be "feminine" with products never seems to go away (and basing it on our secret insecurities seems to be the main track)

Yup, they've been out a while, and they're still out (scented tampons). I love me my Diva cup, and wouldn't go back for anything.

 

[newbie]

Brings a whole new level of meaning to "Pine Fresh." And then I leap to various terms of endearment for our parts, known on Top Gear as "lady gardens," and various types of shrubbery. Juniper will never be the same to me.

 

[Relle]

I don't think it is a spoof. I've seen old advertisements and often wondered how the company could get away with making claims. I figured people would be really angry when the product didn't work. But maybe by the time angry people showed up, the company was gone and setting up elsewhere under a new name with a different product.

Hey, you got a money back guarantee if the soap didn't do what they said it would, what more do you want - unbecoming large breasts.

 

[snappyllama]

Hey, you got a money back guarantee if the soap didn't do what they said it would, what more do you want - unbecoming large breasts.

Anything with a money back guarantee must work; otherwise they wouldn't offer one. I say this while rocking a flowbee haircut, sauna pants, belly burner, , sleepy time breast separator, arm lift tape, copper infused knee pads and salt-infused foot patches (for TOXINS - rofl).

You know, that soap isn't looking quite a ludicrous when seen through the soothing lenses of some blu-blockers...:crazy:

 

[CanaDawn]

A quick stroll thru the cosmetics section of any google search or drugstore sure lacks the brassy in-your-face confidence of the old ads, but things haven't changed much, in terms of promising eternal youth. As long as you never read down to the fine print disclaimer, your cellulite, stretchmarks and annoying signs that you're not 12 can be addressed, by applying large amounts of cash to the bottom line of several companies.

 

[Hazel]

what more do you want - unbecoming large breasts.

Hey! I'll have you know those are what got me the most dates.

As for a money back guarantee - it's only good if you can find the company.

 

[CanaDawn]

and feel like packing things up and taking it back to the (at the time) very public post office.

This thread got me to thinking though....the insecurities they are preying on really haven't changed much....

 

[Lindy]

You mean I can't ask for my Grandma's money back? Well that just sucks. :think:

 

[CanaDawn]

You mean I can't ask for my Grandma's money back? Well that just sucks. :think:

I've always wondered about lifetime guarantees on products......

 

[snappyllama]

and feel like packing things up and taking it back to the (at the time) very public post office.

This thread got me to thinking though....the insecurities they are preying on really haven't changed much....

True, but occasionally they will get creative and create new insecurities, er marketing opportunities, for us to buy/solve. There's big money to be had in making us feel bad about ourselves.

In recent memory:

• 
  Smoothening cream for underarms - I really wasn't worried enough about the suppleness of my armpits

• 
  Lightening bleach for anuses - ditto

Hugs to all my imperfectly perfect fellow humans - even if your armpits aren't supple.

 

[LunaSkye]

True, but occasionally they will get creative and create new insecurities, er marketing opportunities, for us to buy/solve. There's big money to be had in making us feel bad about ourselves.

In recent memory:

• 
  Smoothening cream for underarms - I really wasn't worried enough about the suppleness of my armpits

• 
  Lightening bleach for anuses - ditto

Hugs to all my imperfectly perfect fellow humans - even if your armpits aren't supple.

Are you tired of those crackly, dry underarms? Introducing Poofs' Homemade Deodorant, guaranteed to help those underarms look soft and supple while maintaining that feminine freshness you've come to love!

Also new to the line is Poofs' Homemade Deodorant Plus! It's perfect for those discerning few who desire something strong enough for a man but not made for a lady!

 

[Jstar]

sleepy time breast separator, Lightening bleach for anuses

Wait..........what? :wtf:

 

[newbie]

Excuse me, Jani, are you saying you don't bleach your anus? Oh my god, how does anyone even manage to look you in the eye? and I guess I mean both the old one-eye and the ones on your face!

 

[DWinMadison]

Wait... that's a LYSOL ad??? I don't think I want to know...

roflmao! we gotta get more men into making soap.

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

One of my personal favourites is

That's right ladies - YOU are to blame when we lose interest. You and your dull, middle-aged skin.

Cr-a-zy times.

 

[snappyllama]

<weeps quietly to herself so not to bother any men-folk that might be nearby>

 

[shunt2011]

Craig, that explains it all...dang. Should have known is was just my dull skin not my aging body. Might have to quit working on the body and put more attention on my skin. JK

 

[IrishLass]

Craig, that explains it all...dang. Should have known is was just my dull skin not my aging body. Might have to quit working on the body and put more attention on my skin. JK

Make sure you heed Dr. Dafoe's advice and only use gentle Palmolive, then! ;-)

IrishLass