whoa... no idea.
So I had no idea that my post would generate so much response or have quite so much read into it as it did. I always think that it is interesting how quickly people now run to defend what appears to be a "woman in trouble" in a relationship (30 years ago, it would not have happened), and it just shows that society as a whole has progressed tremendously.
So let me explain the irrational fear. Yes, he does fear that I'll burn my face and be disfigured as I am what the old folks would call a "comely girl". However, the fear runs a bit deeper than that. Let me explain.
Our house is his house. He bought it straight out of college. Now he is flipping a house across town and due to some bad people and bad circumstances, he lost a bit of money on it (so far), but good people are working on it right now and all is better. This has, however, put us in a financial situation that is VERY tight and I am a full-time student. I am going to have to take on a full-time job to get us through this thing which is financially VERY bad. He pays all the bills for the house (as well as the other house) and I pay for my bills (phone, car, insurance) and our groceries plus whatever else is needed. It just works best this way for us. My income is necessary, but it is mostly necessary for me personally. Now that the whole house thing has happened, my income has become more necessary.
He "forbid" me to do it because he did not want anything to happen to the primary house, which is pretty much our most secure investment right now (I do count houses as mostly liabilities, not investments, but this one has appreciated and is securing other funds). He is sick with worry about the whole financial situation that we are squeaking through. If all goes well, we will make money, pay back loans and I won't have to work full-time for the rest of school. If all goes crappy, we are up the creek without a paddle so to speak.
That is where he gets the ability to "forbid", because it is his house and also because I love him so much and really worry about what all of this fretting and worrying is doing to his health. Basically, if it is going to stress him out that bad, I do not want to introduce it into his life yet, and he sees soaping as very stressful. Trust that I do enough other crafting to keep our house in a constant state of crafters chaos. We can't even eat on the kitchen table because of my poly clay addiction, my sewing machine and the piles of origami paper.
I'm sure that in the future, I will get to soap with the best of them, but I really do not want to add stress to a situation that is already so hard. With school starting in a month, me interning in Kuaii for 10 days and starting a new job when I come home, there will be enough stress to go around for all. Soaping is just moving to the back burner.
No, the boyfriend is not "evil" for "telling me what to do". A lot of relationships are full of compromise. Yes, he has even questioned my competence in the past, and then I not only succeeded, but did it with grace. He doesn't question like that anymore. I'm taking chemistry this semester, so I'm using it as my excuse to make soap.
I'm sorry that I've written you a book, but after reading the responses, I figured that I had to write something long like that. I just don't understand why it is that everything in my life is this way; that by simply existing I tend to attract a TON of completely unwanted attention. I just wanted some other housewives to commiserate with me and tell me that it would be okay, he would get over it, and maybe share a story or two. I wasn't expecting a feminist call to arms followed by people insulting each other. I am thankful that the moderator erased whatever that was that was so insulting before I saw it. It would have upset me to know that someone was getting insulted because of a thread that I started.
I wanted to say "thank you" to the lovely lady who sent me a private message with her soaping tips in it, I found it very very helpful and it is actually what made me come back to the forum to check the thread. I want to chastise anyone who has made too many assumptions. (You know what they say about assumptions hehehehe). Mostly I found it very interesting to read all of the different perspectives.
So yes, I did feel the need to come on here and explain my whole relationship. I feel odd doing that, but the post caused such a fuss, I felt like I had to. Now that you all know way too much about my personal business, I'm not going to post again until I have pictures of my first batch. That may be a while, so don't expect the posting to happen soon, I'm coming to the end of the season where I can start new hobbies and such and it could be next summer before anything can happen.
Best wishes, soapers!!! Thank you for the useful bits of information, I will definitely add it to my body of knowledge.
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