I have two bars of soap that I keep in my desk...one is from my first month soap making, the second one is from a batch from a year later. Now what is interesting (IMHO) is that these soaps look completely different yet they were the same recipe with no scent or colorant. So what happened? Time.
The first few months of soap making, I had a lot of flops...50/50. Notice I didn't say 'failure' and that's because I don't believe in failure per se...only in 'opportunities to learn more'.
One of the biggest mistakes I see beginner soap makers do is trying to run because they have even learned to crawl and then they get all bummed out because this or that turned out badly. I watched other soap makers doing the whiz whiz whiz stir, whiz whiz whiz stir, whiz whiz whiz stir and pour. When I tried to do the same, there was no pour, just plop. What I 'learned' is that I was making a 50 OUNCE batch and they were making a 10 to 25 POUND batch of soap. Then there was that orange & white layered soap I made with the most gorgeous mica swirl on top (sigh)...it shattered into small chunks when I tried to cut it. I 'learned' the difference between using 3 teaspoons of dispersed TD (1 tab of TD, 3 tabs of water) and 3 tablespoons of dry TD.
It's a process, don't be so rough on yourself. Is it soap? YEAH! Is it usable soap? FANTASTIC!!! Is is 'pretty' soap? I thought my Blue Man Soap was butt-ugly, but a lot of other folks that it was great.