We have a teenager in the house...........

[Catmehndi]

My beautiful daughter turned 13 today...I hope I make all the right decisions when the time comes. In a way, she's been a teen for a couple of years already and she looks it too but we haven't had to face the *boy issue* yet...give me strength and wisdom!!!
Any advice on raising a good, honest and loving teen? :shock:

 

[Tabitha]

My daughter just turned 13 as well.

 

[Relle]

Scary.

 

[Deda]

LOL! You're in for so much fun!

Seriously, I loved it when my daughter was a teenager. My best advice would be to remember that you're her mom, not her friend. I know that sounds harsh, and my daughter and I are extremely close. But to teach her to respect herself as a woman she needed to respect me. I was never afraid to be the bad guy and set firm boundaries. I also let her make mistakes, my goal wasn't for her to "do as I say", but to learn to make good decisions all by herself. I'm proud to say she did!

Google "theoneinpink". That's my girl!

 

[lauramw71]

Times like this when I'm glad I have all boys! HAHA Except I have twins that are 12, and another son that's 10... So I'll like it until they all have their drivers licenses! haha

 

[Dragonkaz]

I've always loved working with teenagers and I loved it when my kids were teenagers.

The best advice given to me and one I've been thanked for passing on, is never to close the door to communication. Encourage your kids to talk to you even when things aren't good. Don't ever judge them ... remember it's the behaviour that may upset you, not your child!

My daughter is now 29 and we have a close and loving relationship. We can spend days visiting interesting places, shopping, people watching and enjoying each other's company ... we are great friends ... and the same goes for my relationship with my 27 year old son. These relationship have had there ups and downs, but my kids always knew they could tell me anything and I wouldn't judge them or put them down. They knew I respected their truthfulness before anything else and that I would always make the time to listen to them!

 

[carebear]

good luck.

 

[Catmehndi]

Thank you all!
I have always been a 'tough' love kind of mom, insisting on respect and honesty and always emphasized that there are consequences to our choices. I've learned early on that if it wasn't dangerous, illegal or immoral, it was usually OK to say yes because there would be so many reasons to say no (even though some of the outfits she picked as a toddler were rather ghastly...it was good training for later on!).
Right now the main struggle is that she's not open -never really has been so it's probably not going to get better... I guess I need to trust that I've raised a good girl and pray that she keeps making the right choices...

 

[calico21]

I have an only son, turned 19 this year. He has always been more around adults than kids, although he had many friends. We moved a few times in his school years and had to learn to adjust to alot of changes. We just chose to remember what it was like for us at that age and as Dragonkatz said "communicate". Even at the worst of times I made sure that if he came to me with truth then I would do my best to help him and no amount of lying would make a problem go away. To this day he can't help but tell me if he's misbehaved in someway. And I laugh to myself at how minute his infractions are but guide him in a loving way to not do those things again.

 

[IanT]

LOL! You're in for so much fun!

Seriously, I loved it when my daughter was a teenager. My best advice would be to remember that you're her mom, not her friend. I know that sounds harsh, and my daughter and I are extremely close. But to teach her to respect herself as a woman she needed to respect me. I was never afraid to be the bad guy and set firm boundaries. I also let her make mistakes, my goal wasn't for her to "do as I say", but to learn to make good decisions all by herself. I'm proud to say she did!

Google "theoneinpink". That's my girl!

im not a parent yet but im going to be ascribing to this philosophy once its time... it think too many people my age (mid 20s) who have kids now are treating them more as friends...a little scared for my generation of parents that they are basically kids raising kids...


defffffff important to have those boundaries

 

[Traceyann]

I have to agree with everything said above , although I'm a newbie to teenagers too ( my son is almost 15) , I find talking every night over dinner and making time to listen is working for us ....Andrew is in general a great kid .... so fingers crossed he makes a great Adult

 

[judymoody]

My oldest daughter will be 13 in a few months and she's already showing signs of moodiness.

So I'm not in a position to judge. So far, I'm learning not to take anything she says personally and to remain calm.

If you've instilled the basics, they should carry her through. And you too.