Ugly soap how-to guide

[KiwiMoose]

Firstly, you need to prepare your ciaglia. You should make sure you include some little bits of black soap for some ‘mouse poop’ texture. Then, you need to accidentally add too much cinnamon leaf EO to the mixture, because this is notorious for accelerating and seizing soap batter. Once the lye solution is combined with the oils, and the soap is at a suitably gloppy texture you need to do a wee panic when you realise there is no way you are going to get this into the little stone shape cavity molds you have prepared. And it’s definitely not going to look as lovely as @Misschief ’s recent ciaglia soap made in the same molds. You can’t leave your soap because parts of it are starting to seize and rice, so you scream at your husband to run into your craft room to get your loaf mold, forgetting that he is very slow moving due to pulling a muscle in his back on Friday. You describe the cupboard where he will find said mold as you continue to focus on the soap and breaking up the little clumps that are forming. It’s essential at this point to do a little panic dance with your feet as you stir. Then, you turn after an eternity to see your husband has only just made it across the lounge room and has yet to even enter the craft room. You decide at that point it will be a greater risk to wait for him, so you leave the soap and run to the craft room yourself. Just as you approach the craft room, your son will emerge, having heard all the yelling, with the loaf mold in hand. You then rush back and pour the loaf. After that you decide there is enough fluidity in the soap to go ahead and pour the balance into the stone-shaped molds so you do that as well. Now - this is the crucial part, so don’t miss this step - you must CPOP your soap to ensure it gells, just to help to congeal the clumpy bits into a useable bar of soap. Make sure you get it nice and hot so the soap in the cavity molds gets silicone rash.
Finally turn your soap out of the molds to realise there is no way this soap will be saleable because it’s so ugly. Thankfully the loaf mold is passable and can be sold as a ‘rustic’ looking soap. But the other 18 bars of soap will have to be used by yourself. Luckily this fragrance is my ‘Pears Dupe’ which I really love, so that wont be a problem.

 

[paradisi]

To try to take a little sting out of that: remember that shoppers don't know what your design plans were.

 

[AliOop]

Ok, now you really had me stumped. Do I use the laughing emoji because your self-deprecating humor has me holding me side and gasping for air?

Or the sad emoji because I'm a soaper, and I FEEEEEEL your pain?

Or the love emoji, because the picture of the very pretty soap you posted can't possibly be the one about which you were whining providing such entertaining details?

Yah, I'm stumped.

 

[KiwiMoose]

To try to take a little sting out of that: remember that shoppers don't know what your design plans were.

I know, but doesn’t stop it from being ugly regardless.

 

[Misschief]

And just what is so ugly about it?? I think it looks just fine!

 

[paradisi]

I know, but doesn’t stop it from being ugly regardless.

Ugly is often colored by expectations. I've seen worse be exulted over.

But I'll stop trying to make you feel better now.

 

[Feelin' Soapy]

Looks to me like you totally messed up your own instructions. I don't see no ugly soap...only a pretty orange one. You blew it!

 

[dmcgee5034]

I am not just saying this, @KiwiMoose - it’s a lovely shade of orange and it looks fizzy, like orange soda pop. I know you planned something different, but I really like it.
And a round of applause for your story telling - I was gasping and laughing at the same time.

 

[bookworm42]

Looks like orange marble to me. Super pretty! And a great story

 

[Mobjack Bay]

Put it in a box for 1 week.
No peeking until the week is up.

 

[justsomeguy]

After the big buildup I didn't look at the soap initially. I didn't even see it was attached. Then I saw that it was beautiful. But then I'm very partial to orange

 

[Cindy D.]

@KiwiMoose that's the prettiest ugly soap I've ever seen!

 

[dibbles]

Thanks for the amusing bedtime story @KiwiMoose. I understand your feelings, but do what @Mobjack Bay suggested. I bet it will look better to you in a week. If not, make more Ciaglia soap Or give it a funny name and sell it at a discount. I love the color. And I hope your hubby’s back feels better soon.

 

[Tammyfarms]

I really like the soap. The bright orange marble is really pretty and I don’t see mouse poop, just specks of black. The only flaw I can see is a few holes which make the soap rustic. This soap looks much better than much of what I see available for sale. I agree with @Mobjack Bay, put it in a box for a week and reassess.

 

[Zing]

 

[DeeAnna]

Honestly, I agree with the others. I can see why you're disappointed that your design plan didn't go as scheduled. But as an innocent bystander who is also a fellow soap maker, the soap is appealing and interesting to me. Even the "rocks" with holes are fine -- that's what real rocks look like.

Sometimes I have to set a project aside for a few days. When I look at it again with fresh eyes, I realize the outcome is better than I thought. Maybe not what I had in my mind's eye, but definitely okay.

I think this soap deserves a second chance!

If you sell it as "seconds", I suspect your customers will snap them up -- especially if they know your skills as a soap maker. I made a batch of seriously ugly soap and decided to sell it at a discounted price. I called it my "Frank Lee Ugly" soap and it sold quickly.

 

[Mobjack Bay]

Frank Lee Ugly - I’m stealing borrowing that one. .

 

[Quilter99755]

I'm late to this thread. I'm not particularly attached to the color orange. However, this does remind me of some great times in the southwest around Lake Powell, Zion and other parks that we have visited. I"d call it a dupe of some park rocks I've seen and collected. And it is definitely much prettier than the ciaglia soap that I did. But I no longer have that bucket of shavings sitting around calling my name.

Thank you @DeeAnna for that name. I will have to use it for the next batch of soap I pulse not just once or twice too often and barely get it smooched into my loaf pan. My kids will think I'm so clever and probably fight to pick that soap next time I pass out soap bars when they are here! One called my soaps beyond rustic. There is a reason I no longer try to make pretty soaps.

 

[DeeAnna]

Steal away! Here's the one photo I have of my ugly soap. I abbreviated the name on the front panel, but spelled it out in full on the back, so people would get the joke. The pattern was a succulent, meaty swirl of pot-roast browns and medium-rare pinks. Yum.

Despite the appearance, the soap sold quickly. It smelled good, was one of my tested recipes, and the discounted price was added incentive. Kiwi's soap is truly handsome compared to this one.

 

[Tammyfarms]

Steal away! Here's the one photo I have of my ugly soap. I abbreviated the name on the front panel, but spelled it out in full on the back, so people would get the joke. The pattern was a succulent, meaty swirl of pot-roast browns and medium-rare pinks. Yum.

Despite the appearance, the soap sold quickly. It smelled good, was one of my tested recipes, and the discounted price was added incentive. Kiwi's soap is truly handsome compared to this one.

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I love the name. That one looks very meaty to me.
I made a soap last year with a baked apple FO that accelerates. I planned a red oxides and natural swirl but it got too thick and the result was chunks of natural with red base. Looked just like something from the deli. My friends still liked it and I didn’t tell them it looked like meat so they probably never thought that. Meat soaps seem to be something you just can’t unsee.
I used that same FO a few days ago, used a red mica to color it and left it all one color. That’s a soap I can be proud to share with friends and family. Plain is better than meaty.