Post your Gripe

[Relle]

Well, you did get your gym workout done and she didn't, I would say that's a positive. I don't rely on anyone when going to the gym, I go by myself and get it done no matter what.

 

[Lin19687]

no, i didn't I ended up driving around looking for some Pallets for the base of a shed I need to get up.... and plastic bread racks Didn't find what I was looking for.

headache this morning, hoping it is gone by the 2nd cup of coffee

 

[Misschief]

My gripe, if you can call it that (it's really more of a sad) is that dh truly resents every cent I spend on making soap so I think I will give up my hopes of having a small retirement business. I'm not sure it's worth my marriage. I'll try to sell what I've made so far to offset the cost of the supplies but, from here on in, I will only be making soap for myself and my family.

 

[Lin19687]

@Misschief maybe he can see the light soon !

Gripe, UPS driver sucks

 

[Misschief]

I doubt it. He said last night that he's had enough and will be leaving as soon as he has the opportunity.

 

[amd]

@Misschief Your hubs and my hubs should go have beers together to complain, and then we'll make soap while they're gone! I've been struggling with this as well - I am not good at budgeting my soap income with supplies budget. Before I got married, it wasn't a big deal if I needed a little extra cash flow to pull it out of the personal budget.. but then I got married [insert joint checking account here] and Chris told me that the soap business was going to be self-supporting or I would have to quit. I get his point, truly, but I was a bit miffed [putting it mildly] for a few months. This winter when I had the blues, I sat down with him and he helped me create the business plan. It helped both of us a lot to see where the money comes in and goes to. Could you do something like that with him? Maybe it would help him with the resentment - or even get him invested into helping?

Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. In this situation, you get to pick the colors and he gets to do the work! LOL Seriously, you obviously have all the talent in the area of interior design, so don't feel obligated to "compromise". IME, after 43 years of marriage, nobody wins when you compromise. If you take the lead, at least 50% (you) are happy with the result! And, most likely, with your impeccable taste, I suspect he will be happy in the long run as well. As a peace offering, suggest he choose the color for another area... non-public if possible.

By all means, do the colors you REALLY want -- as you said, it's only paint. My dad was a carpenter; my hubby is an architect. Whenever I wanted something, they both told me to draw it up. In this case, I would do a "Color Board" -- not only paint samples, but pieces of fabric you intend to use for the valance, chair cushions, window seat (?) and the accent for the plate rail. Sounds like fun to me!

Okaybye,

I think we're getting closer with paint choices. The problem is that he has a good eye for colors - he did all the paint choices at his old house and it was really lovely, although not my style. I think he has accepted that I am going to paint, so he has at least started giving me direction for what colors he likes. I don't think our compromise points are even close though - his highest level of color is still way below my lightest level of color. I suspect that another month or two of getting vetoed, and I will give in to his color palette on the condition that I can accent with my color palette. Then we'll move on to the bundt pan argument...

Back story on the bundt pans... when Chris' great grandmother died, he inherited her antique bundt pan collection. These things take up a ridiculous amount of cupboard space in our tiny kitchen... and he won't use them because "they're antiques!". I suggested that we hang them on the wall to make an interesting and unique wall display... to which he rolled his eyes and said "you can't hang bundt pans on the wall." Nope, you're supposed to bake with them but you won't let me do that either... Maybe I should go into his workshop and start telling him what he can't do in there??

 

[Zany_in_CO]

Soap Addict & Lin:

I doubt it. He said last night that he's had enough and will be leaving as soon as he has the opportunity.

If he does that, then it's most likely NOT about your soap making -- think "mid-life crisis". Let him go. It may take a couple of years before he changes his mind and wants to come back home. Build your business in the mean time -- it will keep your mind focused on achievable goals. My heart goes out to you. Gentle hug.

 

[Lin19687]

Oh @Zany_in_CO did I do something wrong?

I agree with Zany on the Hubby, let him go... but then again I have had 2, am strong enough to get through life and raise my 2 kids without support.

If he has a 'workshop" and buys things for that then YES you both should sit down, go over expenses and hash it out.

small gripe, I have to sign for my Lye from Fedex. Hope he is better then the UPS guy

 

[earlene]

Lin, I think Zany was empathizing with your gripe over the UPS guy. And I do hope your FedEx guy is better!

So far I haven't had anyone come to my door and bother me about the lye I order for making soap. But I can imagine it would be annoying to have to explain myself to some total stranger. Those illegitimate drug makers have made it tough on the regular law abiding soap maker, as well as several other folks who mean their fellow man no harm. I remember when I could just buy sudafed off the shelf, then all of a sudden I had to ask for it from the pharmacist and show my ID to purchase. I just simply stopped using sudafed altogether because it was such an annoying process. Well, I was probably better off not using sudafed anyway, but at the time, it was the go-to non-drowsy-making antihistamine and I did find it irritating that a few bad apples caused such inconvenience to the rest of us, me in particular.

Misschief, I am really sorry to read about your marital troubles. Your willingness to give up soap making to save your marriage is a testament to how important your marriage is to you. But apparently it is more important to you than it is to him at this point. Stay strong, and if you have family and friends to support you, now is the time to enlist their support as no matter how strong and independent you are capable of being, a woman needs the support of others when going through hard times.

 

[Lin19687]

Ahh ty @earlene I thought the gripe was me lol
I don't know where the NORMAL UPS guy is, I hope just vacation !

I don't mind signing for the Lye it is just that I have been sitting here ALL DAY doing nothing but learning on here which is fine but I could be doing more.

 

[Lin19687]

Gripe, Drove an HOUR to get to NH (big accident) to get Pine Shavings for my Chicken coop that I just cleaned out.
Get home with the 2 bags. I only need 1/2 a bag so I buy 2 so I don't have to drive up there again for a while.

open the bag and it is Sawdust ! SO NOT SHAVINGS ! I can get this stuff free !

Now I have to go tomorrow with BOTH bags (full and 1/2) and complain.

I had to use 1/2 because I didn't have anything in there and I dumped out 1/2. Not like I can put it back in.

grrr

 

[lenarenee]

Got a call from the organization I donated soap to who sold it during their fundraiser last year. A local café is showcasing and selling handmade items from immigrants for one month and can I make some soap for that and have it ready May 3rd. Nope, I explain - it would barely be out of the mold let alone cured and labeled. She says we can just put a note on the bars to not use until a certain date. Nope, I says. It's even too soft to be moved, and it won't be nearly cured enough.

Last night she calls and says "Good news! They can delay the sale for one week!" I said, "doesn't matter, still not enough time. She says..."we can just put notes on the soap....etc."


It gets better: I donated 40 plain jane soaps to give to the Sudanese who often don't keep soap in their homes. (San Diego county was even more heavily hit with flu and illness than most of the US.) These were made specifically for the Sudanese who often can't handle store bought soap at all due to their chronic health conditions (Years of malnutrition, living in refugee camps). She kept some of them to sell at this café....the bars that were supposed to help combat all the illness going around! (They're also not labeled because most adult Sudanese can't read, and wouldn't know what the ingredients were anyway). Somehow I think she's not going to understand that they can't be sold that way!!

 

[earlene]

So sad, lenarenee! Very disappointing to hear that an organization that was supposed to pass along needed supplies to those in need, kept some back to be sold for a fund raiser. I would be reluctant to donate with them again.

 

[lenarenee]

I was shocked to hear what she did - still am. Yes, I'm rethinking my soapy involvement with them. And unfortunately no longer motivated to make soap for this café sale. I have plenty of other things to do, and also am on call for federal jury for a month.

 

[Zany_in_CO]

Oh @Zany_in_CO did I do something wrong?

Um, no, you didn't do anything wrong, sweetie; I did. That was a response to your post #225 but I forgot to put it in a quote box. I do that sometimes.

 

[Lin19687]

Gripe.. I all of a sudden feel tired and don't want to do anything hate that

 

[Lin19687]

Gripe... to my DD... If you would DRINK the Milk, it wouldn't be almost full and 5 days PAST sell by date .

 

[Lin19687]

gripe, the cat found me

 

[amd]

Gripe... to my DD... If you would DRINK the Milk, it wouldn't be almost full and 5 days PAST sell by date .

Can I send my step kids over? All they drink is milk. We will go through 1-1/2 gallons a day when they are here. I've given up trying to convince my husband that it isn't healthy to drink so much milk - his youngest will be 13 this weekend and barely weighs 65lbs. He'll chug 2 glasses of milk at the dinner table and eat maybe half of his food.

We could trade the step kids for the cat if you want....

 

[Lin19687]

Hmm sounds like a deal, but I LURVE my kitties.
Filling up on Milk before eating is not that good, Needs to eat first then have the Milk. I had a friend that had to do that with their underweight child. Worked but it takes time to gain the weight.

Gripe.. Just soaped Plumeria ---- Nuff said ?