liquid soap + vinegar = shampoo?

[BrewerGeorge]

I am often accused of seeing the best in people when it's not warranted, so take this with a grain of salt.

Is this person a "guy's girl?" More male friends than female? Maybe grew up with a lot of brothers? Some of what you describe from her sounds like the way guys typically are with each other: outwardly competitive, harassing each other, talking sh*t all the time. But the thing is that with guys it's usually a sign of affection not to be taken seriously. Have you seen the TV show The League? Those guys treat each other like dirt and are the best of friends. This method of interaction can be hard for women to understand, I know. My wife hates my best friend of 20 years because she doesn't understand our "playfully combative" dynamic.

I mention this because I started to add a jokingly snarky reply here and stopped myself, thinking "That's not how I should respond to a woman." (Long marriage has taught me that much, at least. ) So I wondered if maybe your "friend" was just behaving more like a guy, without any bad intent. Maybe she's just playing around and expecting you to fire back? Or maybe I'm completely off base and she is just a "Mean Girl."

But whatever the case, please don't take this comment as criticism or an attempt to call into question your read of the situation. I just thought I'd offer a guy's perspective.

 

[Kamahido]

To the original poster... I always do my best to keep "toxic" people out of my life.

 

[lenarenee]

To the original poster... I always do my best to keep "toxic" people out of my life.

Thank you very much Kamahido, and normally I would. But she signs one of my paychecks every month as I do aftercare for her children. So I get to see her twice a day. Hooray.

 

[lenarenee]

I am often accused of seeing the best in people when it's not warranted, so take this with a grain of salt.

Is this person a "guy's girl?" More male friends than female? Maybe grew up with a lot of brothers? Some of what you describe from her sounds like the way guys typically are with each other: outwardly competitive, harassing each other, talking sh*t all the time. But the thing is that with guys it's usually a sign of affection not to be taken seriously. Have you seen the TV show The League? Those guys treat each other like dirt and are the best of friends. This method of interaction can be hard for women to understand, I know. My wife hates my best friend of 20 years because she doesn't understand our "playfully combative" dynamic.

I mention this because I started to add a jokingly snarky reply here and stopped myself, thinking "That's not how I should respond to a woman." (Long marriage has taught me that much, at least. ) So I wondered if maybe your "friend" was just behaving more like a guy, without any bad intent. Maybe she's just playing around and expecting you to fire back? Or maybe I'm completely off base and she is just a "Mean Girl."

But whatever the case, please don't take this comment as criticism or an attempt to call into question your read of the situation. I just thought I'd offer a guy's perspective.

Whether that is true of this person or not, I can't say right now - I need to think on it (not a fast thinker) . You presented a point of view I never considered before - so I absolutely take no offense - you taught me something new which is always valuable.

I do know this much about her - she works in the corporate world with a good number of men, is competitive with her own kids, and people rarely get to finish a sentence when conversing with her - she talks over people. However, - she is a lot like a man and tried to stand there and fix their problems for them. She's not uncaring, but...is a challenging person.

 

[lenarenee]

Nicely done, Lenarenee! I'm laughing at how neatly you turned the tables ... and I'm glad for you that you were able to do it in a kind way. That's got to feel really good. Kudos!!!!

Honestly...I was shocked when she implied I should have been finished already. I didn't feel very kind. The bit about Kevin Dunn's book was to make sure she knew which of us was a true soapmaker - and why.

Good grief. If she started making and selling, she'd be a nightmare. Her "first" batch would be labeled Artisan!

 

[LisaAnne]

I am often accused of seeing the best in people when it's not warranted, so take this with a grain of salt.

Is this person a "guy's girl?" More male friends than female? Maybe grew up with a lot of brothers? Some of what you describe from her sounds like the way guys typically are with each other: outwardly competitive, harassing each other, talking sh*t all the time. But the thing is that with guys it's usually a sign of affection not to be taken seriously. Have you seen the TV show The League? Those guys treat each other like dirt and are the best of friends. This method of interaction can be hard for women to understand, I know. My wife hates my best friend of 20 years because she doesn't understand our "playfully combative" dynamic.

I mention this because I started to add a jokingly snarky reply here and stopped myself, thinking "That's not how I should respond to a woman." (Long marriage has taught me that much, at least. ) So I wondered if maybe your "friend" was just behaving more like a guy, without any bad intent. Maybe she's just playing around and expecting you to fire back? Or maybe I'm completely off base and she is just a "Mean Girl."

But whatever the case, please don't take this comment as criticism or an attempt to call into question your read of the situation. I just thought I'd offer a guy's perspective.

You described my four brothers to a tee. Super competitive always talking smack and super close. Being the only female in the family, luckily I don't have a competitive bone in my body.

Lenarenee, there is a woman a few towns over that started soaping when I did. I'd see her on Facebook. She doesn't know I make soap.
She got a recipe off brambleberry and has been successfully selling for months now. But like you, I want to know the bare bones of making soap. Some people think their light shines brighter by blowing out other people's flames. Something is lacking deep inside your friend to behave that way. Have pity on her,she has nothing over on you.

 

[kdaniels8811]

And I thought someone figured out how to add vinegar to liquid soap without it separating for shampoo! Glad you jumped back on the soapy bandwagon. There will always be someone that is competitive, unfortunately she is your friend. Hold your head high and keep making awesome soaps! And if someone figures out how to add vinegar to liquid soap - it really helps with my hard water! For now I will continue the vinegar rinses with my liquid soap/shampoo ...

 

[lenarenee]

Some people think their light shines brighter by blowing out other people's flames.

That's a very wise statement LisaAnne, thank you. I'm going to commit that to memory as it will serve as a great tool for dealing with her, and other people. (Also - for keeping myself humble whenever I'm tempted to blow out someone else's flame!)