Does this drive you nuts?

[Neve]

One of my biggest peeves is laziness - ie. people wanting to take shortcuts from all MY hard work. Like if I spend hours, days, months on something and they want me to lead them straight to the results without doing any work themselves. I just hate it!

Do you guys feel like that? I spend months researching, learning, experimenting with my own recipes and some complete stranger asks me to share them with him just because he's a 'newbie'. Like that gives him any right to a freaking handout. Guess what, I've been doing this all of three months, I'm pretty sure that makes me a 'newbie' myself and I'm not asking anyone to give me their recipes.

Sorry, I think people should get off their ass and do things for themselves...people are just too lazy and want everything handed to them these days.

That's my rant... wondering if this is a hot button for anyone else like it is for me!

 

[lizflowers42]

I understand where you are coming from, but at the same time, if people weren't willing to help others I never would have started making soap in the first place.

 

[Neve]

It's not just soap... it's everything. I have no problem with helping, I help people all the time, I just prefer that those people also try to help themselves, and, well, TRY. Not just sit on the couch and demand answers.

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

I tend to be on the receiving end of advice rather than the giving end at the moment, but I can understand the frustration. Personally I would be more than happy with a basic recipe in the sort of direction that I was looking at rather than the all-singing-all-dancing finely tuned recipe that someone worked long and hard for. I could then take the basic idea and work on it myself, learning as I go.

I ask the sorts of questions that I think I would like to be asked in the years to come when I have experience. So I wouldn't ask "What is the recipe of your best selling face soap?" but rather "What sort of things should I look to put in a face soap, and why?" so that I get a more general heading and scope for learning in.

Personally I feel I'd be more likely to get answers that way, plus I'm not just getting 1 recipe but the tools to develop something that is truly my own.

 

[Neve]

Exactly... something about teaching a man to fish?

I just feel that people want to circumvent the learning process for many things in life. When I was marking student assignments they would write two word answers and expect full marks. Um, no, open your textbook.

 

[Neve]

Don't get the wrong idea about me, I have always, and will always, help anyone who makes an effort to learn something. I'm just not going to give them the answer if they didn't make any attempt themselves.

I am new at this but already friends are quoting recipes on Pinterest that I know are unsafe... like they want to make a lotion with water and have no idea that they need to use a preservative, but they want to give it to their family for Christmas. Yes I jump in and put them straight on that one! But it bothers me that they don't trouble to just do a little bit of research before blindly copying a recipe they found somewhere.

 

[Feather]

If you join a forum to share information, you can bet that you'll ask questions and that in all fairness you'll also share information.

However, if someone goes way over the boundary of asking for your very tweeked recipe, you don't have to answer them. Or you can tailor your answer in this way.

Q: Can I have your recipe for xxx?
A: No but I did find that adding soft oils helped it to trace slower.
or
A: Sure you can have my recipe, I charge $400 for it now and since it is so successful, the price is $900/use of it. Do you have paypal?

 

[Obsidian]

I'm still a newbie myself but I do have a couple recipes I won't share. If I come across a post asking for a good basic recipe I will happily post something or help them formulate a recipe for their needs but if some one outright asks for a recipe, I'll say no.

It doesn't really upset me though and as a beginner, I asked people for their recipes not knowing how long it could take to formulate a perfect recipe. I figured there was standard recipes everyone used and I was looking for one.

 

[ourwolfden]

I'm still a newbie myself but I do have a couple recipes I won't share. If I come across a post asking for a good basic recipe I will happily post something or help them formulate a recipe for their needs but if some one outright asks for a recipe, I'll say no.

It doesn't really upset me though and as a beginner, I asked people for their recipes not knowing how long it could take to formulate a perfect recipe. I figured there was standard recipes everyone used and I was looking for one.

I didn’t realize that either when I first started. I should have but it never occurred to me that so much experimentation when on to find the perfect recipe.

 

[DeeAnna]

To paraphrase a wise man ... my feeling angry or frustrated about someone else's apparent ignorance or laziness is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.

I get frustrated too, don't get me wrong. But when I do, I try to remember this perspective, let go, and move on. It helps. :idea:

 

[songwind]

I just feel that people want to circumvent the learning process for many things in life.

To be fair, asking an informed source is a time-honored and well respected way to gain knowledge. So I'm not sure this counts as circumventing the learning process.

When I'm in the position of an expert (which I really only am on computers) I find it's usually best to take a middle way. You don't want the newbie flailing around, hurting themselves and breaking stuff. At the same time, you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot and use up all your time spoon feeding them everything you've figured out. So there is usually some sort of basics I'm happy to share with anyone, and more advanced or valuable things I keep to myself.

So if I were a journeyman or masterful soaper, I would probably happily help anyone figure out their basic bastile soap recipe and troubleshoot their first efforts. But I'd keep my list of the public's very favorite scents, and which scent/color combinations make the soap turn out badly to myself. (Examples made up out of thin air, may not really be a thing.) For one thing, we have to experiment in order to hone our skills!

 

[pamielynn]

My son and hubby like to make paracord bracelets - just for fun and pocket change. This weekend they came to a show with me and no less than three people came up and asked them how they make theirs - after telling us that they make the bracelets too! Well, why are you asking then? One guy came up and asked: 1. Where do you buy your paracord? 2. Where do you buy the findings? 3. How do you start the braid? 4. How do you tie it off? 4. How do you get into shows? Geesh - figure out some things for yourself, please.

 

[Neve]

To be clearer I'm not talking about people asking for help on a forum - I'm talking about people who are too slack to even visit a forum!

Asking for help is fine. Asking a complete stranger on Facebook to just give you something I find quite rude. Now if it was phrased as an actual question asking for help with something specific that they are having trouble with that's different. It means they actually put some thought into it.

I guess it's just me

 

[Neve]

Yes. This. Exactly!!!! It happens to many vendors at our markets here. Including me.

I sell wildlife prints and they come up and say 'tell me where to find these animals' or for an aurora photo 'what camera settings to I use and how to I take this photo'. FCOL just google it!

My son and hubby like to make paracord bracelets - just for fun and pocket change. This weekend they came to a show with me and no less than three people came up and asked them how they make theirs - after telling us that they make the bracelets too! Well, why are you asking then? One guy came up and asked: 1. Where do you buy your paracord? 2. Where do you buy the findings? 3. How do you start the braid? 4. How do you tie it off? 4. How do you get into shows? Geesh - figure out some things for yourself, please.

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

In many cases it seems to be people essentially saying "tell me everything that you have spent time learning so I can make this stuff myself and avoid paying you for your expertise"

 

[pamielynn]

Yes. This. Exactly!!!! It happens to many vendors at our markets here. Including me.

I sell wildlife prints and they come up and say 'tell me where to find these animals' or for an aurora photo 'what camera settings to I use and how to I take this photo'. FCOL just google it!

you so need say things like "Africa" "The frozen Tundra" "Papua New Guinea". I'd love to see their faces

 

[dixiedragon]

Neve, perhaps you are taking this a bit personally? Of course you don't have to give out your special fine-tuned recipe, but I don't necessarily think that a person asking is "sitting on the couch demanding answers". If they give you a hard time when you decline, then of course that's rude. but I don't think it's necessarily rude or lazy to say, "Hey, I love your soap (or lotion or brownies or potroast) can I have the recipe?"

Ingredients are expensive, and I think many people want a "starting point" and not just randomly input some stuff into the soapcalc. So I think it's perfectly okay to point them to a good starting point while not sharing your special recipes.

Also, I think some times people ask for recipes just as a way to make polite conversation.

 

[Neve]

And you are assuming that they ask this politely...

Neve, perhaps you are taking this a bit personally? Of course you don't have to give out your special fine-tuned recipe, but I don't necessarily think that a person asking is "sitting on the couch demanding answers". If they give you a hard time when you decline, then of course that's rude. but I don't think it's necessarily rude or lazy to say, "Hey, I love your soap (or lotion or brownies or potroast) can I have the recipe?"

Ingredients are expensive, and I think many people want a "starting point" and not just randomly input some stuff into the soapcalc. So I think it's perfectly okay to point them to a good starting point while not sharing your special recipes.

Also, I think some times people ask for recipes just as a way to make polite conversation.

 

[eyeroll]

I guess it's just me

I don't think so; I think most who have responded agree with you.

 

[Stinkydancer]

One of my biggest peeves is laziness - ie. people wanting to take shortcuts from all MY hard work. Like if I spend hours, days, months on something and they want me to lead them straight to the results without doing any work themselves. I just hate it!

Do you guys feel like that? I spend months researching, learning, experimenting with my own recipes and some complete stranger asks me to share them with him just because he's a 'newbie'. Like that gives him any right to a freaking handout. Guess what, I've been doing this all of three months, I'm pretty sure that makes me a 'newbie' myself and I'm not asking anyone to give me their recipes.

Sorry, I think people should get off their ass and do things for themselves...people are just too lazy and want everything handed to them these days.

That's my rant... wondering if this is a hot button for anyone else like it is for me!

Yes!!! Amen Sister! FYI- I rent out my grandma if anyone wants to learn to make soap the old fashioned way.