# Job stress



## Sonya-m (Jul 28, 2015)

As some of you may recall I was made redundant in March when the company I worked for went bust. I loved my job and it really hit me hard. I very quickly (2 days) found a new job that is literally round the corner from my house. Problem is I hate it there - I've tried to give it a chance but 4 months in I start to dread it on a Sunday afternoon!

So I've been looking, all the while telling myself I will only move for what seems like the perfect job. I had an interview on Friday for a job that seems to be just that apart from it being 18 miles away which I know isn't a long commute but I do like being able to leave the house and be at work in 5 minutes at the moment but that alone isn't a reason to stay, is it?

I'm worried I'll be making the wrong choice, that I'll move, hate that AND have a bigger commute. 

The salary and benefits package of this new job is amazing and it's back in the industry I know and love, gas and oil. 

I know my existing boss is going to be horrid to me too when I say I'm leaving so don't know if that is causing the doubts. 

Sorry for the long one - feeling more than a little stressed


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## not_ally (Jul 28, 2015)

That's hard, Sonya, just dealing/worrying about the uncertainty.  I guess I think since you hate the current job there is not much of a downside to moving.  Ie; the commute may be a bit longer, but you spend all day at work, I just think on balance it is better to do that at a place that you like.  Espec. if it is in an industry in which you would like to stay.  One of my best, oldest friends (from college) works as General Counsel for Anadarko, I think she likes it pretty well, which is a pretty good testament to the environment for executive women in O&G.  Although she lives in Islington and spends a lot of time in Algeria, that is not so much fun as a commute

I would try not to tell the current boss you are going until you do, although that may be impractical if the new place wants to check references, as is usually the case.


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## commoncenz (Jul 28, 2015)

Tough choice for sure! But, from where I'm sitting (outside looking in), you already KNOW you hate the job you have now. Fear of the unknown shouldn't keep you from trying to better your situation. Plus, with a bigger salary and better benefits, even if you hate the new job, you'll be better compensated for your ... well, I don't want to say "misery" ... so, "antipathy". 

And if you think your existing boss would be a jack _ _ _ to you when you say you're leaving for a better opportunity, then he's not the type of person you'd like working for in the first place ... is he?

Just my two cents; and I know it's easy for me to say from the outside looking in. You're in a tough spot. However, you are an extremely intelligent person who I'm sure will make the choice that's best for you. 

Good Luck!


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## cerelife (Jul 28, 2015)

Sonya,
Just my 2c, but 8 years ago I left a job ten minutes from my house for one an hour away. They were in the same field (Radiology), but the new position promised to be much more challenging and I felt like I was dying/stagnating at the local job...
The transition was a b*tch for the first year or so, but I can now honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made!


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## janzo (Jul 28, 2015)

So sorry to hear this Sonya.  My feelings about this is it sounds like it is affecting your home life as you say you start dreading the thought of going back to work on Sunday afternoon. Honestly if you hate it that much then time to move especially if you already have a good job lined up.  I feel for you with the long commute, is it Newcastle as I see you are in Darlington (I used to live in EaglesCliffe and work in Darlington).  I am sure when you make the decision and tell the boss you will feel the stress and tension leaving your body.  Good luck. And as Nike say "just do it"


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## CTAnton (Jul 28, 2015)

Didn't this thread hit a nerve!
I had a job for 33 years,needless to say that in  that time many changes took place.I worked for a wealthy couple that got as they aged their worst character defects seemed to emerge stronger with each passing year. It got to be like a bad marriage.
I was terminated last April and after sitting on the "pity potty" for a good length of time I got myself some wonderful clients that greatly appreciate my talents, my personality and my intelligence. The "negative energy" I put up with while my former employers tried to force me out I could write a book on.
So what I'm trying to say is this; why do we fear the unknown so much when our current reality is so bad any change would be for the better. I'm working at some beautiful properties now feeling blessed that people pay me to do what I enjoy so immensely...


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## Sonya-m (Jul 28, 2015)

Small world Janzo! I live in Darlington and the new job is in Billingham so not a huge commute but knowing the area you'll know the A66 and A19 are both nightmares on a morning!

Thanks everyone - reckon I knew what your responses would be, it's exactly what I'd tell someone in my situation. The total additional benefits of the new job are equal to around 50% of my current salary so definitely too good to miss!!


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## shunt2011 (Jul 28, 2015)

Sonya you just need to go with your gut and your heart.  It's so not worth being miserable.   I've worked at the same hospital 37 years.  I've had several different positions in that time and 12 years ago I finally landed in the job I love (working with Residents, Fellows & Students) even though it's trying sometimes it's so nice to not hate getting up on Monday morning dreading another week.  It's hard to make that first step sometimes.  I had worked in the same department for 22 years. I was treated like crap when I gave notice as I was one of the hardest working employees they had.  I was so scared to switch but am so glad I did.


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## navigator9 (Jul 28, 2015)

Stress is a killer. Knowing that every day you're going to a job that you hate will take its toll on you. I recently retired from a job that I loved, but at times worked with people who brought a lot of drama to the situation. I remember dreading going in to work, and hating being there. I was miserable, but for many reasons could not leave. But I remember waking up in the morning, lying in bed and thinking, "Oh God, I have to deal with that again today." I'm generally a really optimistic person, but I felt myself becoming negative and withdrawn. The people causing the drama finally left, and the cloud lifted, but I've never forgotten that feeling.  Go with what you love. Go where you will be happy and look forward to going to work each day. You know where you belong. Wishing you the best!


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## Seawolfe (Jul 28, 2015)

There is no point in being miserable - life is too short!
My job is exactly 9 miles away, and I can make it there in 15 minutes even with downtown traffic, so your trip should not be more than 30 minutes, probably closer to 20. But I used to commute 100 miles to this same job, so now Im spoiled.


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## Sonya-m (Jul 28, 2015)

Right I got the formal offer by email so have accepted it!! It was too late tonight to be able to give my notice which is rubbish as my our director (the one that I know will be horrid) wasn't in today so had been hoping to give it to my manager today, let her tell the director and let her calm down overnight! Now she will be in the office when I do it!


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## Lynusann (Jul 28, 2015)

Sonya-m said:


> Right I got the formal offer by email so have accepted it!! It was too late tonight to be able to give my notice which is rubbish as my our director (the one that I know will be horrid) wasn't in today so had been hoping to give it to my manager today, let her tell the director and let her calm down overnight! Now she will be in the office when I do it!



Congrats!!! That is so awesome. I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I've been in a miserable job for some years now. I didn't start off hating my job but it turned in to it after several changes that were only in the best interest of the owners and not the employees. I haven't quit because I fear not having a job/income far too much and fear hating another job more than this one. 

Kudos to you for making that move though! Any new job is always scary but as someone else already mentioned, at least the pay is significantly better even if you dislike it as much, you'll be compensated better for the same time spent working.


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## nsmar4211 (Jul 28, 2015)

Give the notice with your head held high, and resist the temptation to badmouth or complain on the way out. Just say "I've receive a better opportunity, thank you for your time". I thought my boss was going to eat me for breakfast but she didn't (yet) when I gave notice. You can do it! 
Go in with the attitude that this will be better. Get some books on tape or some favorite CD's and the half hour drive will melt away. I don't mind mine because I get to destress on the way home. Course, mine is all turnpike....

You'll be great!!!


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## galaxyMLP (Jul 28, 2015)

Well, I left my old job a year ago and I'm so glad I did. I was miserable in my old job. I hated my boss! I felt uncomfortable around him and he made "comments" (if you know what I mean) that I shouldn't have had to deal with. I thought he was going to eat me alive when I told him I was leaving. He didn't really say much when I actually told him!

 To be nice (and since 3 of my coworkers had already left in the last 2 months), I put in 3 weeks notice instead of 2. Don't do that!!! It will only make things worse for you and it won't help them any. 

Proudly say "a better opportunity has presented itself and I needed to take it". Be courteous your last few weeks but understand that your boss may be especially unreasonable or frustrated during that time. Take it to mean that you must be a great worker if you leaving is frustrating him. And don't take it to heart. Remind yourself that you will be gone soon enough!

I wish you the best in this new endeavour!


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## jules92207 (Jul 29, 2015)

Congratulations! I have had my fair share of horrid jobs and I would take a longer commute over the Sunday dread any day. Being miserable in a job is toxic. Nothing is worth that kind of cancerous environment.

I wish you much luck and joy on your new adventure!


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## The Efficacious Gentleman (Jul 29, 2015)

Besides, the longer commute means that you can listen to more Classic FM......


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## Ellacho (Jul 29, 2015)

Congratulations! Wish you the best!


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## Sonya-m (Jul 29, 2015)

The Efficacious Gentleman said:


> Besides, the longer commute means that you can listen to more Classic FM......




Omg why didn't I think of this - now where's that notice letter!!!


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## dillsandwitch (Jul 29, 2015)

Hey whats the worst that could happen in your last couple weeks. I mean you already quit so they cant really fire you now can they.  Every job ive left prior to my last one ive gotten to the point of being so annoyed that I've told them to f off. I acually had to get a coworker to help me write a resignation letter. Haha


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## Sonya-m (Jul 29, 2015)

Well I've done it, they were surprisingly ok with me so maybe I've been worrying about nothing. I do have a lot of work to do between now and next Friday and I will try my best to get it done but I won't be working past my regular finish time next Friday in order to


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## shunt2011 (Jul 29, 2015)

Congratulations!  Hope you are much happier in your new job.


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## janzo (Jul 29, 2015)

Great news, all the best in your new job.


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## Saponista (Jul 31, 2015)

I am so happy for you. Dreading work on a Sunday is not a situation you want to be in unless you can possibly avoid it. Believe me I have been there too. It takes a heavy toll on you. Onwards and upwards to new things and happier times


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## dillsandwitch (Jul 31, 2015)

I dread work work o  a sunday but only because my weekend is over and i have to wait another week before being able to sleep in past 5am


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## Sonya-m (Aug 5, 2015)

Only 2 days left in my hellish job!! Then a weeks holiday before starting in my new job!! Yay!

Last day today. Totally surprised at the leaving gifts on my desk this morning as I've only been there 4.5 months





I baked cakes


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## The Efficacious Gentleman (Aug 7, 2015)

Very cool! When do you start your new job?


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## Sonya-m (Aug 7, 2015)

17th, a weeks holiday first!


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## TeresaT (Aug 7, 2015)

Sonya, check into Kindle Unlimited.  You don't actually have to have a kindle to use it.  For a small fee each month, you get to download and read as many books as you want.  I have been listening to books for the past 6 months or so on my 30 minute commute to and from work.  I have "read" a lot of books this way that I would have never chosen to actually spend time reading.  The nice thing about the kindle audio is you can alternate between listening and reading.  Some books have been so good, I've had to do that!  There are a huge variety of books to be read and/or listened to.  It certainly makes my commute far more pleasant and I don't have to listen to the same four popular songs of the day played over and over.

BTW:  CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW BEGINING!


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