# To all my soapy friends here



## redhead1226 (Mar 5, 2018)

As some may have noticed I have been absent from the forum for quite sometime. 

Unfortunately 2017 was not such a great year. I retired at 62, a little earlier then planned but my mom at 90 was not doing well living in her home and so I brought her to live with me. The caretaker's were not taking good care of her and frankly stealing her blind. She had always wanted to stay in her home but that wasn't a good idea and longer. So I made the choice to retire to take care of her.  My kids were all on their own now and I felt this was the right thing to do. I had time to spend with my mom that I hadn't done in years. I ate Breakfast, Lunch and dinner with her. Bathed her, dressed her, did her makeup ( yes she had to have her makeup on after breakfast ) and at night we would lay in her bed and watch old movies and eat popcorn and laugh. I felt like a kid again with my mommy.  Well after 7 months she had a seizure and needed a pacemaker. She passed away from complications of that surgery 4 days later.  My mom had a long beautiful life and so I had accepted her death as it was just her time and I was grateful for this "extra" time I was able to spend with her everyday. I know she enjoyed it as well. 

Well, with her passing, my sister and I had commiserated daily and had become extremely close as we were all we had left. Our parents were gone.  She was my older sister and I had always looked up to her. She never married nor had children so frankly my kids and grand kids had now become hers. My sister was disabled and so when it came time to take care of my mom she could not. She had been wheelchair bound for many years with scoliosis.  She had ballooned up to close to 400 lbs and had severe asthma.  So with her lack of mobility and breathing issues and multiple medical problems, she passed away 5 months after my mom. 

In 5 months I had lost my mom and my sister. My core family was gone. And I fell into a deep depression.  It was too much for me to bare so soon. 

I also had not been feeling well but thought it was just that I had suffered so much loss in such a short time. Well I was rushed to the hospital in January and diagnosed with Stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver! I don't even drink.  Its an autoimmune disease called PBC that's the cuprit. Your liver stops making bile and without making bile you cant live.  I am now on medication and have had every test in the world over the last few months. I might need a transplant later down the road but for now I'm feeling so much better.  So when I say it hasn't been a good year it is really an understatement.  I'm grateful to be here. No i didn't need to explain but it was therapeutic nonetheless. 

So i come back here to my happy place. Among those who share my soap making passion. I haven't made a bar of soap in 8 months more or less.  That's the first break I've taken in years and I have been struggling to get motivated.  So I logged in for inspiration and motivation and this in the best place to find it. So here I am. 

Lets make some soap! 

Sherry <3


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## dibbles (Mar 5, 2018)

Sherry, I am so very sorry for what you have been through. You have had a staggering amount of loss, and you have my sincere sympathy. I hope you are taking care of yourself and finding ways to heal your heart. I wish for you continued improvement in your own health.


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## Serene (Mar 5, 2018)

Sherry,

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles.  My condolences regarding your Mom and Sister.   I am glad you are back and I hope that making soap again brings you some much needed joy.  Praying for your well being and that you continue feeling better.


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## KristaY (Mar 5, 2018)

When you said it wasn't such a great year, that was a serious understatement! I'm so sorry for all you've had to endure in such a short time. Sending prayers and positive energy your way as you move through it all. I'm so glad you came to share today and I hope getting it out helps.


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## Saffron (Mar 6, 2018)

Dear Sherry, my sincere condolences on the passing of your mom and sister. I guess one consolation is that you made their final months very happy and comfortable for them. What more could a mother and sister wish for? 
Sorry about your illness. Sending you positive energy and prayers and hope you get better soon.
Hang in there and keep soapin' - it can be therapeutic.


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## mommycarlson (Mar 6, 2018)

Sherry, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses and of your illness.  You are a wonderful soul to care for your mom and your sister the way you did.  Soaping is wonderful therapy.  Hugs to you


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## Susie (Mar 6, 2018)

Oh, I am so very, very sorry to hear about your losses!  It is devastating to lose your family so close together!  I have been through it, and I can't begin to explain it to anyone how it affects you.  Then your own body fights back!  I will pray for you!

One thing that I wish I had done when I lost my core family was to write down all the memories I had of what my childhood was like.  There is no one to reminisce with any longer.  No "remember when" conversations.  It is like it never happened.  There is no getting another view point on any situation.  I did talk to some of my aunts and uncles about what their childhood was like, and I wrote down those stories, but I wish I had done it for my life.  Write down the family recipes for your kids.  It helps bring those memories back of family meals shared together.


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## shunt2011 (Mar 6, 2018)

I'm so sorry for your losses.  It's so difficult to loose those we love.  Glad to have you back here.


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## Cellador (Mar 6, 2018)

Hi Sherry-I don't think we've "met" before, but I am so sorry to read of your losses. I can't imagine how difficult this year has been for you. You are so kind to have cared for your mother and sister- it must have been difficult at times. 
Welcome back and I hope you have fun getting back into soaping!


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## jewels621 (Mar 6, 2018)

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you were dealt all this in such a short amount of time. I hope you’re finding healthy ways to deal with it all. Welcome home. We can’t wait to see pictures of your “therapy soap”.


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## Lin19687 (Mar 6, 2018)

for all you have been through
 that you are back here and maybe we can make you smile and help you get to make some soap that will fill your heart with joy !!!


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## dixiedragon (Mar 6, 2018)

I am so sorry for your losses! I am praying for you. Please take care of yourself - physically AND emotionally. Your children and grandchildren love and need you.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 6, 2018)

Susie said:


> Oh, I am so very, very sorry to hear about your losses!  It is devastating to lose your family so close together!  I have been through it, and I can't begin to explain it to anyone how it affects you.  Then your own body fights back!  I will pray for you!
> 
> One thing that I wish I had done when I lost my core family was to write down all the memories I had of what my childhood was like.  There is no one to reminisce with any longer.  No "remember when" conversations.  It is like it never happened.  There is no getting another view point on any situation.  I did talk to some of my aunts and uncles about what their childhood was like, and I wrote down those stories, but I wish I had done it for my life.  Write down the family recipes for your kids.  It helps bring those memories back of family meals shared together.



Susie - Thank you for that! What a wonderful idea! I hadn't thought of doing that but I want to for my kids and grand kids. There is no one left.  One of the hardest parts was when I cleaned out my moms house and I found so many things from my childhood. I never knew she saved these things but obviously they had meaning to her. Like my brownie and girl scout uniforms with the badges I earned.  As far as my sister - No words.  She was my first friend and there is nothing like a sister.


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## lsg (Mar 6, 2018)

Sorry to hear of your losses and your illness.  Hope you are now able to enjoy life and your hobbies.


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## earlene (Mar 6, 2018)

Sherry (*rehead1226*), I am so sorry to read of your difficulties, losses, and ill health.  It is good to see you back, though.  I do hope you find some release in your renewed efforts at soapmaking,


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## gigisiguenza (Mar 6, 2018)

I have no words  other than to say how sorry I am that you've had such a terrible time recently, and to offer up my hugs and prayers for you.


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## cmzaha (Mar 6, 2018)

I want to add my sincere condolences, losing to family members back to back is devastating, then having your health issues on top of all of it just compounds everything. You sound like you were an angel to your mom in her last months, wish I could pin that on my shoulder. My sis and I take turns taking care of my step-dad and mom and my patience is very slim. My mom never did much other than work so there was not an extreme closeness with her. I have to applaud you for taking such quality time with your mom. 

Now take care of yourself and Make some Soap


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## IrishLass (Mar 6, 2018)

I'm so sorry to hear of the back-to-back losses of your mom and sis, and the struggle with your liver. I will keep you in my prayers.

I'm so glad, though, that you and your sis were able to grow very close, and that your mom's last months were spent with you- someone that she loved very much and who loved her as much in return, and who was able to take her in and protect her and care for her needs with attentive loving-kindness.....and all with a good bit of mother/daughter fun tossed in, too.  That's such a huge, huge blessing.

I'm so glad you've come back here, too! Like Carolyn said^^^ now take care of yourself and make some soap! 


IrishLass


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## Jeanea (Mar 6, 2018)

Well my soapy sister, I'm glad you are on your way back. There are no word to help you feel better about your losses. I'm just glad yoy had the chance to become closer to your mom and your sister. You were afforded the opportunity many only wish they had. I thank God you had that time with them to help you heal. All those new memories to look back and laugh at. Now instead of worrying about them, you can concentrate on you. I pray for a speedy recovery for you. 

I would post some sporn for you, but I don't know how with this app. God's got you.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 6, 2018)

Thank you all for your kind words. They help. I've been a hot mess! On top of everything I have a cold so I made some homemade "Vicks" and I think tomorrow Ill finally make a loaf of LARD soap. You know its my fave, go to soap ingredient. 
Again thank you!


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## Zany_in_CO (Mar 7, 2018)

redhead1226 said:


> I made some homemade "Vicks" and I think tomorrow Ill finally make a loaf of LARD soap. You know its my fave, go to soap ingredient.
> Again thank you!


Atta girl -- aka SMF sistah!  I love LARD too! There's nothing like making up a batch of soap for healing wounds -- good for curing the blahs and the blues. I think I'll join you -- maybe even use "Redhead" for the design inspiration! I'm looking forward to seeing pics. I also hope you will continue to post often. BIG hug.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 7, 2018)

Thank you! I didn't make the soap today but I will tomorrow and Ill post a pic of my "therapy soap". <3 Thank you for the support! I posted a pic of my very red hair as my profile pic. lol


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## Zany_in_CO (Mar 8, 2018)

Wowser! What a knockout! I definitely have to rethink the title I came up with... "Carrot Top" (LOL) with DIY Carrot Root Oil -- good for the skin and soaps a pretty shade of orange. And, yes, as I like to tell my dear hubby, while shooing him out of the kitchen, "soaping is cheaper than therapy!"


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## redhead1226 (Mar 8, 2018)

That pic is from my sons wedding 4 years ago.  Yes, soaping has always been therapy for me. I have tinnitus ( like I dont have enough crap!) Thats a hissing in my ear 24/7 - Ive had it for 5 years now and when I soap I dont hear it as much so I used to make a lot of soap! lol - And when Im stressed its louder. So hopefully Ill get back on the band wagon and try just to live life on its terms.  Thank you! <3


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## cmzaha (Mar 8, 2018)

I Love the color of your hair, do you still have it the same color? It looks like a wine red on my computer and is gorgeous. 
I also have tinnitus and it drives me crazy. Since an episode I had a few weeks ago I now have an eye that is twitching at night. Drives me nuts.


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## earlene (Mar 8, 2018)

redhead1226 said:


> I have tinnitus ( like I dont have enough crap!) Thats a hissing in my ear 24/7 - Ive had it for 5 years now and when I soap I dont hear it as much so I used to make a lot of soap! lol - And when Im stressed its louder. So hopefully Ill get back on the band wagon and try just to live life on its terms.  Thank you! <3


My hearing aides have for the most part eliminated that annoying ringing in my ears.  What a nice byproduct of HA's.  I later read that is a fairly common method of treatment for chronic tinnitus.  Maybe one day you may find a need for hearing aids and have the same experience.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 8, 2018)

cmzaha said:


> I Love the color of your hair, do you still have it the same color? It looks like a wine red on my computer and is gorgeous.
> I also have tinnitus and it drives me crazy. Since an episode I had a few weeks ago I now have an eye that is twitching at night. Drives me nuts.



Ive had the same hair color for years, probably too many as now that Im getting older I should act my age. Its Igora by Schwarzkopf.  But frankly under it all Im white!  My tinnitus sometimes drives me nuts and really its not for the weak. Its a challenge to learn to live with it. I see that many people have it.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 8, 2018)

earlene said:


> My hearing aides have for the most part eliminated that annoying ringing in my ears.  What a nice byproduct of HA's.  I later read that is a fairly common method of treatment for chronic tinnitus.  Maybe one day you may find a need for hearing aids and have the same experience.



I have hearing aides that were quite expensive as Im constantly saying to people " Excuse me, I have a hearing problem" and ask them to repeat themselves. I look at their lips to see if I can figure out what they said. I guess Ill come to terms one day and wear them.  Aging isn't kind!


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## Zany_in_CO (Mar 9, 2018)

I have tinnitus too. Sometimes, like right now, it sounds like a summer's twilight when the cicadas start chirping in the distance. Sometimes it pings loudly. That's the sound that really irritates me. 1/2 a beer helps. LOL For me, it comes and goes and most days, it's there, but I ignore it. Soaping definitely helps.


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## earlene (Mar 9, 2018)

Considering how expensive they were, I recommend wearing them and getting used to them. I went through an adjustment period, just absolutely certain I would never be comfortable with them in, but became pretty comfortable with them with daily use.  Not sure now how long it took, but it seemed like it took me quite a long time, maybe 3 months or more. But totally worth it, especially as it mostly eliminated the tinnitus, when that wasn't even the goal.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 9, 2018)

Zany_in_CO said:


> I have tinnitus too. Sometimes, like right now, it sounds like a summer's twilight when the cicadas start chirping in the distance. Sometimes it pings loudly. That's the sound that really irritates me. 1/2 a beer helps. LOL For me, it comes and goes and most days, it's there, but I ignore it. Soaping definitely helps.



I have a similar sound bu more like a hiss. Its always there, sometimes it is louder, sometimes more subdued but always there. I'm not glad you have it, but at least you understand what its like. No one really gets it unless they have it.  Do you know how you got it? Or it just happened one day like mine?


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## redhead1226 (Mar 9, 2018)

earlene said:


> Considering how expensive they were, I recommend wearing them and getting used to them. I went through an adjustment period, just absolutely certain I would never be comfortable with them in, but became pretty comfortable with them with daily use.  Not sure now how long it took, but it seemed like it took me quite a long time, maybe 3 months or more. But totally worth it, especially as it mostly eliminated the tinnitus, when that wasn't even the goal.



My ear doctor told me that they do not know if you get it from losing your hearing or tinnitus causes the hearing loss.  Maybe Ill start wearing one and see how it goes. My hair is long so maybe no one will notice.


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## earlene (Mar 9, 2018)

Mine are described in this article as 'mini bte' barely noticeable to anyone not inspecting the backs of my ears. 
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing-aids

BTW, if you have 2 hearing aids it is better to wear both together.


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## Zany_in_CO (Mar 10, 2018)

redhead1226 said:


> Do you know how you got it? Or it just happened one day like mine?


I honestly don't remember when it started but I think it's stress-related due to an over-developed sense of responsibility -- esp. acting as caretaker for a loved one. For example, when I was hospitalized for 6 days, I called it _"the best vacation I've ever had!" _The reason? I was waited on hand & foot all day, every day. Didn't have to do a thing except, order meals (all my favorites, of course), eat, read or watch TV, and sleep! Maybe it was the drugs, but I didn't have tinnitus during the entire stay.


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## redhead1226 (Mar 10, 2018)

Zany_in_CO said:


> I honestly don't remember when it started but I think it's stress-related due to an over-developed sense of responsibility -- esp. acting as caretaker for a loved one. For example, when I was hospitalized for 6 days, I called it _"the best vacation I've ever had!" _The reason? I was waited on hand & foot all day, every day. Didn't have to do a thing except, order meals (all my favorites, of course), eat, read or watch TV, and sleep! Maybe it was the drugs, but I didn't have tinnitus during the entire stay.



Wow! Well my life is full of stress needless to say. Ive never had a day like that where I didnt have a serious amount of craziness going on. I have been thinking of going away for a few weeks to the west coast of florida beaches as Im only 2 hours a way. Just me and my dog as my BF has a busy schedule right now. But it will be a good test to see if relaxation helps.


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## Zany_in_CO (Mar 10, 2018)

LOL   Just do it! I hope you have the same experience, Redhead. I don't have that option at this time or I would meetcha there. We have a son that recently moved to Fort Myers. My DH, "Mr. Ole Stick-in-the-Mud" homebody never wants to go anywhere that's farther than 20 minutes away! LOL


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## redhead1226 (Mar 10, 2018)

Zany_in_CO said:


> LOL   Just do it! I hope you have the same experience, Redhead. I don't have that option at this time or I would meetcha there. We have a son that recently moved to Fort Myers. My DH, "Mr. Ole Stick-in-the-Mud" homebody never wants to go anywhere that's farther than 20 minutes away! LOL



Oh I had one of those! I divorced him but not just for that. lol - Funny as I emailed the timeshare today to see if they have availability for the end of March. I have always stayed in the same place on Estero Beach in Ft. Myers. There are may there that dont use their weeks and they become available. BTW I made soap today for the 1st time in months and it came out good as far as the soap but my design was horrible. It riced on me also so it was discouraging but Ill make more tomorrow. It seems like I forgot all that I knew after almost 9 years of soap making which surprised me. But I'll get back in the swing of things soon.


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