# [Rant] Store-bought soap gifts!



## toxikon (Dec 30, 2016)

This is just a light-hearted rant, I figure you folks are the perfect group to commiserate with. 

I've been making CP soap for my family for the past 5 years. Everyone seems to look forward to it and I always put in effort to make the soaps beautiful and well-wrapped and placed into a goodie bag of other homemade items that I make.

This year my mother's partner decided to splurge on fancy Italian soaps for everyone. When they unwrapped the soaps everyone ooh'd and ahh'd and bickered over who would get which scent... while completely ignoring my little handmade soaps.

I couldn't help but feel a bit miffed by the whole situation, especially since everyone in the room (including my mom and her partner) knew I do the soap-thing for Christmas!

Anyway, just a very minor annoyance. Has anyone else experienced something similar with their family?


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## lenarenee (Dec 30, 2016)

I haven't - at least to the extent you have. But I do empathize with you because when I oogle fancy speciality soaps I admire the scent quality, the perfect shapes, the clever packaging and etc.  Makes me feel mighty humble, but not in a positive way.

Its hard to do - but try to remember the proof is in the pudding; the quality of your soap, the fact that you honed the formula as you went through all the trial and error it takes to find the right recipe.  And the results....the way your skin feels.

You did the work. You didn't pay experts to formulate the cheapest easiest way to mass produce a product that would make you money. You didn't cheap out on the ingredients (budgeting wisely is not cheaping out!). 

And as I spent an roughly 10 hours shrink wrapping, labeling, and sorting fragrances into gift bags (I spend way too much time trying to predict who will like which fragrance), I know the kind of work it took to make your gifts.

And.....drum roll.....there's a lot more love and thought in your gift, than someone who just pulled out a credit card for the commercial stuff.

We get it.


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## IrishLass (Dec 30, 2016)

Thankfully, I haven't experienced any incidences like that with my family and my soap. I honestly can't think of a single one of them who's a long-term a recipient of my soap that would ever do something like that to me......at least not in my presence in front of my whole family anyway.....
............at least not that I know of 

.....

I totally get it, though, because I've had something similar happen to me, but with something other than soap. 

If it was done intentionally, I know I would feel quite hurt and would no longer gift any more of my soap to the particular family member in question. Not out of spite, but rather due to the amount of work and time spent on making, curing and wrapping/labeling/packaging it. It's just not worth all that time and effort I expend to gift it to someone who doesn't appreciate it.


IrishLass


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## shunt2011 (Dec 30, 2016)

That's a bummer for sure. Thankfully I've not experienced that either. My family looks forward to their yearly soapy gifts. They also purchase from me throughout the year. 

As stated the proof will be in the use of the soap. Handmade is so much better than mass produced. Hold your head up high.


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## Scooter (Dec 30, 2016)

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Scooter


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## dibbles (Dec 30, 2016)

I haven't had that happen to me either, and I'm sorry that it happened to you. I do get a variety of responses, from my brother in law who will say 'thank you - I like your soap' all the way to my mother in law who this year actually teared up and mentioned how much work she knows goes into making it. Which was very sweet, but I should also say she wears her heart on her sleeve and will get teary over a TV commercial too.


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## kumudini (Dec 30, 2016)

I can see how that would hurt, but may be the gifter hasn't been in the family long enough to understand the significance of your little tradition or they have been and knew more soap would only make your family happier and your family was just appreciating the gift.
 If you don't think that they did it intentionally then just smile it off and move on to assessing your own fancy soap, I'm assuming that's what you got too.


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## BeesKnees (Dec 30, 2016)

I can totally understand why you're feeling chapped about that.  I'm hoping maybe your mother's partner is a new addition? If not, if they knew it was a rather longstanding annual tradition, then it was thoughtless of them to do that, even if it was a "splurge".  They could have just as easily splurged on Swiss or Belgian chocolate or something else exotic-sounding to those of us on this continent. However, they may not have thought about that at the time so hopefully it was not an intentional slight. 

However, regardless of that, there are a few possibilities for the oohing and aahing that had nothing to do with the quality of your soaps.  If the partner is new then maybe they were trying to make them feel welcome?  If not relatively new to the family then maybe your family members could have realized that it was a splurge and appreciated the partner's effort.  It could have been the "grass is greener" syndrome and anything new/different would get attention. Certainly the "Italian" part could have been exciting and exotic. They know they can get more soap from you if someone got a scent they wanted, whereas the supply of fancy soaps were limited to on hand and in front of them.  

There is also the competitiveness of some people, wherein the jostling for who gets what is exciting.  My adult brother and sister have come to almost-serious blows (pushing and shoving) during the family Easter egg hunt that was put on for their children--and my sister doesn't even eat candy!   (They were hollow eggs filled with candies.)   In fact, if someone threw out some soaps on a table at my family's gathering and said for everyone to pick which one they wanted, I would probably back up because there would probably be blood shed in the ensuing scuffle between my brother and sister! lol    

Anyway, there are a lot of factors that could have prompted your family's reaction that have nothing to do with your lovely soaps. 

You have me totally curious about what other homemade items you make?


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## penelopejane (Dec 31, 2016)

I don't think people really understand how much effort goes into making soap and labelling and packaging it. My family are appreciative to a degree but some compared it to farmers market soap - no ingredients listed so no doubt it has palm oil and high CO which I don't use but makes a great hard soap and probably SL and EDTA which I also don't use - so yes it's "better" than mine. Hopefully they will notice the difference on their skin when they use it. 

One of my family members uses only natural soap (I discovered later) so my carefully selected FOs and colours were wasted on her. I later sent her some of my all natural soaps. I'm still learning and perfecting my soap so I know they aren't perfect but it is still a bit daunting.


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## snappyllama (Dec 31, 2016)

I feel ya! My family knows I'd be really upset if they brought home commercial soap, but I do hear complaints that my hobby has made gift giving hard for them. No more going into Bath and Body Works for easy-dont-know-what-to-get-them gifts.


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## mx5inpenn (Dec 31, 2016)

snappyllama said:


> I feel ya! My family knows I'd be really upset if they brought home commercial soap, but I do hear complaints that my hobby has made gift giving hard for them. No more going into Bath and Body Works for easy-dont-know-what-to-get-them gifts.



They should just go to you!


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## redhead1226 (Dec 31, 2016)

Well you handled that way better then I would have. lol :evil:


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## toxikon (Dec 31, 2016)

You're all very very sweet! My mom's partner has been around for at least 4 years or so, but I really don't think it was intentional. I think it was just a bit of absent-minded moment. After the soaps had all been passed around, he asked which one I wanted... I said "No thanks, I have plenty of soap at home!" And I think maybe that gave him the message, haha.

But it's definitely water under the bridge, no biggie.

As for what other handmade gifties I did this year, I sewed some felt bird ornaments, made some homemade dog treats and of course a few big batches of Christmas cookies!


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## lenarenee (Dec 31, 2016)

snappyllama said:


> I feel ya! My family knows I'd be really upset if they brought home commercial soap, but I do hear complaints that my hobby has made gift giving hard for them. No more going into Bath and Body Works for easy-dont-know-what-to-get-them gifts.



It's very easy to tie a colorful ribbon on a jar of coconut oil!! And soapers love free oil!


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## mrsserena (Dec 31, 2016)

Just for thought, maybe they just know how much you and your family appreciate nice soap, so they thought it would be nice. My mom gave me a tube of store bought hand lotion this year... I gave her a package of homemade soaps, lotions, and lip balms .


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## fuzz-juzz (Dec 31, 2016)

Yeap, same here, you're not alone.
After gifting them so many soaps, my mum's gone back to store bought, $10-15 a pop soaps. Apparently, my aren't fragranced enough like store bought ones. 

I was gifted soaps this Christmas, store bought.  It was from a client I work with, I did mention I make soaps, but she's probably forgotten. They were nicely packaged, it's thought that counts in the end, but it was till funny.


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## penelopejane (Jan 1, 2017)

fuzz-juzz said:


> Yeap, same here, you're not alone.
> After gifting them so many soaps, my mum's gone back to store bought, $10-15 a pop soaps. Apparently, my aren't fragranced enough like store bought ones.
> 
> I was gifted soaps this Christmas, store bought.  It was from a client I work with, I did mention I make soaps, but she's probably forgotten. They were nicely packaged, it's thought that counts in the end, but it was till funny.



If they are handmade it's interesting to compare them to yours. Unfortunately they generally have hardeners and preservatives. The most annoying thing is when they have no ingredients list. Useless as you can't compare.


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## newbie (Jan 1, 2017)

Everyone in my family knows I make soap and all have used it. For some reason, they think that making it makes me appreciate getting it. My mom and my aunt have both gotten me soap for gifts, which perplexes me, but I just say thank you. 

It sounds like you handled it well. Maybe the partner saw how well your soap went over and thought it would be a sure-fire hit to give some as well, except that he missed with you.


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## fuzz-juzz (Jan 1, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> If they are handmade it's interesting to compare them to yours. Unfortunately they generally have hardeners and preservatives. The most annoying thing is when they have no ingredients list. Useless as you can't compare.



It's Tilley's soaps, they aren't handmade (I think). They can't be for that price.
Website states the are made from palm, CO and shea butter only.
They are very hard but also very drying, possibly because of high % of palm and CO.
They also cracked terribly, after only few uses. 
I do prefer my soaps, but I just wanted to test them out as I haven't used shop bought soap in ages.


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## artemis (Jan 2, 2017)

newbie said:


> For some reason, they think that making it makes me appreciate getting it.



I think this is the reason behind people give soap to soapers. They think we have a general interest in soaps. If they see one they think is neat, we're the ones they think will appreciate it most.


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## dillsandwitch (Jan 4, 2017)

fuzz-juzz said:


> It's Tilley's soaps, they aren't handmade (I think). They can't be for that price.
> Website states the are made from palm, CO and shea butter only.
> They are very hard but also very drying, possibly because of high % of palm and CO.
> They also cracked terribly, after only few uses.
> I do prefer my soaps, but I just wanted to test them out as I haven't used shop bought soap in ages.




They are not handmade. I have tried them before and yeah totally agree they are terrible. I bought 4 bars this time last year and 3 are still sitting in my bathroom cabinet. The other has maybe 3/4 left of the bar as every time I use it even just for hand washing I'm reaching for the lotion soon after.


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