# Discouraged and heartbroken



## SoapAddict415 (Feb 11, 2018)

I hope this is ok to post. My oldest son is getting married next month [emoji1]. He, his fiancee & my youngest son live in Arizona. I haven't seen my sons in 3 years. My middle son is here in Michigan with me but I don't get to see him nearly as much as I'd like. I REALLY miss my boys. My oldest son is SO excited! The closer we get to the wedding date, the more he talks about being happy to see me when I come to visit [emoji16].
I'm discouraged because I've had a year to save up for the wedding but we've had 1 financial setback after another. We were nearly homeless 2 years ago and we've been working hard to get back on our feet. What little I had managed to save had to cover our bills when DH lost his job a few months back. He started working again last month. We thought that having a second income again, we could catch up on our bills and still make the trip. It would be cutting things close but we'd plan to file early and use our tax refunds for the trip too. It would be our first vacation together [emoji16]. Well, due to an "accounting error" DH's first check was shorted a week's pay. Because I couldn't afford healthcare last year, the Obamacare act took nearly half of my refund. Due to our financial situation, I defaulted on my student loan & today I found out that the Feds took the rest of my refund as payment. It seems like every time we start to get ahead, something knocks us back 6 yards [emoji20]! I'm so terribly heartbroken that I can't seem to stop crying because now I have to tell my son that I can't afford to come to his wedding.


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## Laurabolyard (Feb 11, 2018)

OH MY GOODNESS!!  Thats a LOT to deal with...  I'm so sorry.  When is the wedding exactly?  Is there still time for miracles?


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 11, 2018)

The wedding is March 28th. I like to believe that there's always time for miracles. I'm frustrated because every time I start making progress, there's a setback. If it were anyone else's wedding, I'd have said forget it by now.


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## toxikon (Feb 11, 2018)

Aw I'm so sorry, that sounds terrible. Maybe if you let your son know you're struggling he'll help you find a way to make it happen.


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## Misschief (Feb 11, 2018)

In the meantime, I'm praying for a miracle.


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## cmzaha (Feb 11, 2018)

This is no where near my business and I am sorry to hear about what is happening to you. But if there is a wedding planned can't your son and future daughter in law get together and fly the 2 of you out to Arizona? Weddings cost considerable and it could become some of the wedding cost or they could cut back on something, such as if a limo is going to be rented forgo it and use their own cars. If it were my parents I would do everything I could to get them there. We my hubby and I married  over 40 years ago we had to fly a family member out from Michigan. Losing jobs and short pay checks are hard to deal with, I know because I have a daughter that deals with the same thing. Her husband was just shorted a healthy amount on his pay check, this seems to be the norm in some industries this day and age.  Although being illegal for an employer to do such they take the chance, after all, who is going to file complaints against them and risk losing their job.... sorry I got off on another direction. 

Hopefully they can come up with some help and get you there


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## Laurabolyard (Feb 11, 2018)

I have faith!!  You should, absolutely, be there!!  Tell him asap, get it off your chest and work with him to find a solution. Easy to say, I know, but you'll start feeling better and be able to move forward when you tell him.


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 11, 2018)

Thank you everyone for your encouragement, comments & suggestions. You've helped me to feel a little better. I'm not sure if my oldest son will be able to help me but I guess that's why God blessed me with 2 more [emoji1]. I'm sure I can ask them for help. Asking for help is just very hard for me to do. Lol, not asking for help is the one thing DH always fusses at me about.


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## Steve85569 (Feb 11, 2018)

Go fund me.
You have not because you ask not.
It is better to ( be able to) give than to receive.
Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

I have been on both ends. It is humbling to need to ask but always encouraging to see what God does. I'm not where I am today because I did everything right. I'm here because He did and does.


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 11, 2018)

[emoji16][emoji1] thank you Steve85569! That was motivating!


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## earlene (Feb 11, 2018)

The grandmother of my husband's nephew got a fabulous deal for a bus ticket on https://us.megabus.com/

We were at the wedding last April and she (the grandmother) was very very happy with megabus.  In fact she said she had used it before and will continue to use it for affordable transportation to visit distant family and friends.


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## Millie (Feb 11, 2018)

You'll get to your son's wedding! I remember feeling proud the first time my parents asked me for help, like I was finally grown up. Whenever they ask for help I get a wash of greatfulness for everything they have done for me, all the sacrifices it took for them to raise a family. And I know they are still there to help me when I need it. I think your sons will pull together to get you to the wedding, and be happy to help. Best wishes!


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## IrishLass (Feb 11, 2018)

Praying for God to make a way where there seems to be no way!


IrishLass


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 11, 2018)

Thank you Millie & Irish Lass. Thanks for the link Earlene.


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## Saponificarian (Feb 11, 2018)

Misschief said:


> In the meantime, I'm praying for a miracle.



I join my faith with yours for a miracle.


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## Zany_in_CO (Feb 11, 2018)




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## svanhild-anita (Feb 11, 2018)

this might sound far out but have you considerd hitch hiking. modern teknology has made this a lot safer. i use to text the licens nr to a friend and the one time i got in to truble i showed the driver the text and he let me of at the next gas station. after that i kept texting the licenc nr to my friend but insted of standing by the side of the road i would talk to People at gas stations and truk stops and ask for a ride and most People feel safer letting you in to theyre car if they have talked to you first and you get a feel for them to. if you are two People traveling together ewen better. also long transport trukdrivers sometimes like the Company so going to a transport Company on the day youre traveling workes well at least in europe. ore craigslist. just use the phone trik and its pritty safe.


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## jewels621 (Feb 11, 2018)

Praying for you, SoapAddict.....I have 3 sons, as well, and can’t imagine not seeing them, especially for such an important event in their lives. Please let us know if you do set up a gofundme page.


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## lsg (Feb 12, 2018)

Is your vehicle sound enough to make the trip?   It would certainly take longer than flying, but it would be cheaper? If you are a church member, you might ask for help through your pastor.  It is amazing how church families will work together to help someone in need.


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## dibbles (Feb 12, 2018)

I'm so sorry for your difficulties. The link earlene gave you for megabus is worth looking into. I haven't used it, but my daughter has and was happy with it.

When my daughter was planning her wedding, my dad was ill and failing. We weren't sure if he would be able to be there, but had a contingency to set up a laptop with a Skype connection so he could at least see it that way. Fortunately, he was still well enough to go to the wedding. I'm sure something will work out for you so that you can be at your son's wedding, but I thought I'd add this to the discussion so that there is still 'something' if the absolutely worst case happens and you can't get to the wedding.


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## Saffron (Feb 12, 2018)

SoapAddict415 said:


> Thank you everyone for your encouragement, comments & suggestions. You've helped me to feel a little better. I'm not sure if my oldest son will be able to help me but I guess that's why God blessed me with 2 more [emoji1]. I'm sure I can ask them for help. Asking for help is just very hard for me to do. Lol, not asking for help is the one thing DH always fusses at me about.



Let us know if you decide to set up a Go Fund Me page.... I'll be happy to contribute x


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## lsg (Feb 12, 2018)

I just thought of an online donation service used by one of my family.  Instead of wedding gifts, friends and family could donate to the newlyweds online.  Maybe your son and his fiance could request something like this to help with your travel epenses.

https://www.honeyfund.com/how-to-ask-for-cash


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## maya (Feb 12, 2018)

That is *soooo* hard! I know what you mean about setback after setback. I think the link from ISG is brilliant.


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## Laurabolyard (Feb 12, 2018)

Saffron said:


> Let us know if you decide to set up a Go Fund Me page.... I'll be happy to contribute x


Ditto


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 12, 2018)

lsg said:


> Is your vehicle sound enough to make the trip?   It would certainly take longer than flying, but it would be cheaper? If you are a church member, you might ask for help through your pastor.  It is amazing how church families will work together to help someone in need.


I haven't had a car since 2008. I had a bad experience with a used car dealer and I've never owned another vehicle since.

I posted a link yesterday to the GoFundMe account I set up but I don't see it today. Thank you so very much to those of you who were able to contribute. You are so awesome! [emoji1]


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## DeeAnna (Feb 14, 2018)

I saw your link yesterday as well, Arianna.


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## dixiedragon (Feb 14, 2018)

Praying for your family!

Maybe check out babycenter We Are Debt Free and reddit Finances for ideas for creative ways to cut costs.

Do you have local Facebook trading pages? Maybe go there and say you are looking for evening/weekend side work - babysitting, house cleaning, pet sitting. Somebody on my local page was looking for somebody to help her package items for eBay for $20/hr. If you and/or your DH could, say, deliver pizza a few nights a week, that might do it. Or possibly a family member has airline points they could cash in for you.


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 14, 2018)

Thank you DeeAnna and Dixiedragon!


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## Relle (Feb 15, 2018)

SoapAddict415 said:


> I posted a link yesterday to the GoFundMe account I set up but I don't see it today. Thank you so very much to those of you who were able to contribute. You are so awesome! [emoji1]


Arianna, your post was deleted and a message sent, as to why. Please let me know that you received it.


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## lsg (Feb 15, 2018)

Perhaps, if anyone wants the link, they can start a conversation, (pm), with  SoapAddict415 and she can supply that information.


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 15, 2018)

Thanks, I didn't know. I just saw Relle's post & checked for the pm.
If anyone would like the link, just pm me.

Thanks again to everyone for your help, words of encouragement and well wishes. I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal & my son said he'd help too. It looks like I'll be able to make it! [emoji16]


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## Misschief (Feb 17, 2018)

That is so good to read, Arianna!!


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## SoapAddict415 (Feb 28, 2018)

Update: [emoji3] I have enough to get there & rent a room thanks to your generosity. I just need to get back lol. If you'd like to share my link on your fave social media, please do.


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## SaltedFig (Feb 28, 2018)

That is fantastic news Arianna! One bowl and a place to stay ... just about set! 

(Suggestion: Tell the son's fiance that the mother-in-law might have to stay ... and ask them to post the link too )


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