# Ugh parenthood!



## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

It's 2 weeks into the school year and my son got in trouble already! His 3rd grade class had a substitute teacher and he decided to get the class all riled up.. He started a dance party and was break dancing on the classroom floor while the other kids cheered him on.  Today his teacher had to give me a stern talking to at the gate because the sub was so "emotional" that she lost control of the class. 

Everyday it's something with him.. He's super outgoing and social and SO busy all of the time. His big personality is always getting him in trouble. I have story after story of the naughty things he does. I'm scared for his teen years lol. Can anyone else relate? Please tell me it gets easier? ..


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## FerrisWheel (Aug 27, 2015)

TVivian said:


> It's 2 weeks into the school year and my son got in trouble already! His 3rd grade class had a substitute teacher and he decided to get the class all riled up.. He started a dance party and was break dancing on the classroom floor while the other kids cheered him on.  Today his teacher had to give me a stern talking to at the gate because the sub was so "emotional" that she lost control of the class.
> 
> Everyday it's something with him.. He's super outgoing and social and SO busy all of the time. His big personality is always getting him in trouble. I have story after story of the naughty things he does. I'm scared for his teen years lol. Can anyone else relate? Please tell me it gets easier? ..



A calming lavender oil bath?


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## not_ally (Aug 27, 2015)

Viv, I can't relate in the sense that I have any of my own, but he sounds like kind of a great kid really (also I remember how sweet he looked in the pic you posted months ago, from a parade or something?).  Even though he might sometimes be creating a giant PITA for you occasionally w/the excess energy.  My sisters (4 kids between them) have had problems with their kids not being out-going *enough*, and not having friends/kids that want to be around them (three of the four tend that way, although it is changing as they age).  

I don't know where I am going with this exactly, just that I like the sound of him, and that he has a good caring mom, I just have a strong sense it will get easier eventually.  Also, not to point fingers, but the sub should have been able to maintain control of the class, even if it required removing him, that is part of her  job, kids get crazy b/c they are kids, right?

I am assuming that either this does not rise to the level of a clinical issue, or if so, you have eliminated the obvious things to check like ADHD?


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## snappyllama (Aug 27, 2015)

Hang in there... he'll probably chill out when he gets hormones and has "things" on his mind. Aside from normal teenager sullenness and horrifying billy-goat smells, the boys in my family all start out loudly obnoxious and gradually get better.

The girls are the opposite... I've just now stopped telling my oldest daughter on a weekly basis that some animals eat their young. She's 21.


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## Seawolfe (Aug 27, 2015)

An afterschool sport or activity that burns some of that extra energy off?
Wish I was there to see the breakdancing


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## shunt2011 (Aug 27, 2015)

Your story made me smile. My daughter was always extremely outgoing. I think it's actually a good trait. It's just a matter of figuring out how to find a happy medium. At least enough to keep them off the naughty list


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## IrishLass (Aug 27, 2015)

Well, at least it was a break-dance party instead of something more nefarious. lol He sounds like he's a great kid but just needs a wise and understanding hand to steer all that energy in the right direction.


IrishLass


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## commoncenz (Aug 27, 2015)

Viv, step away from the edge. I've been there twice with my sons. Once, I got called in to have a conference with the teacher because my oldest son was throwing away his homework on the bus and telling me he didn't have any. This was before the schools got wise and started putting homework assignments on the interwebs for parents to be able to see what their kids are supposed to be doing. Anyway, it appeared that my son was the class clown in addition to not doing his homework. So, we have the conference; with my son in attendance. At the end of the conference the teacher said: 

"and what frustrates me Mr. Mason is that I KNOW that he's capable of doing the work and that he knows the subject very well." 

I look at my son and ask him to explain himself.

"Well dad, if she knows I can do it, you know I can do it and I know I can do it, why do I have to SHOW that I can do it? Shouldn't they be teaching me stuff I DON'T know how to do?"

l didn't know whether to be proud of his intellect, embarrassed by his cheekiness or just flabbergasted. That kid is now working for the government in computer tech and a member of the Air National Guard.

The younger one was just ... well, he was just a handful. Liked to torment teachers. Once ran around the hallways of the entire school with his teacher chasing after him. The whole time he's singing "run, run as fast as you can .. you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man" (He was in Kindergarten). I get "the phone call" and go to the school to pick him up. The principal asked him why he had done what he did. His response:

"Because it was fun and Mrs. ________ needs to get exercise. She sits in that chair eating all the time while we're supposed to take a nap."

SMH ... That kid is now an 18 year old Senior who has made the honor roll every semester of high school and is sifting through offers for scholarships. Wants to BE a teacher/wrestling coach if he doesn't take an ROTC scholarship. 

So, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.


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## not_ally (Aug 27, 2015)

Those are great stories, Patrick!  Your kid stories always make me laugh.  I gotta admit, Viv, your's did too, a little, which I why I found it endearing rather than alarming.


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

not_ally said:


> Viv, I can't relate in the sense that I have any of my own, but he sounds like kind of a great kid really (also I remember how sweet he looked in the pic you posted months ago, from a parade or something?).  Even though he might sometimes be creating a giant PITA for you occasionally w/the excess energy.  My sisters (4 kids between them) have had problems with their kids not being out-going *enough*, and not having friends/kids that want to be around them (three of the four tend that way, although it is changing as they age).
> 
> I don't know where I am going with this exactly, just that I like the sound of him, and that he has a good caring mom, I just have a strong sense it will get easier eventually.  Also, not to point fingers, but the sub should have been able to maintain control of the class, even if it required removing him, that is part of her  job, kids get crazy b/c they are kids, right?
> 
> I am assuming that either this does not rise to the level of a clinical issue, or if so, you have eliminated the obvious things to check like ADHD?




NA , he really is a great kid and he is sweet but geez he's a lot of work! I agree that the sub blamed him that she couldn't get the class in order after he got them crazy. I asked him if the sub was young, and he said yes.. So she was probably ashamed to have to send him to the principal. Which is what I think she should have done if it was that bad. 

As for ADHD, the pediatrician says no but I say probably. I think I have it too!


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

snappyllama said:


> Hang in there... he'll probably chill out when he gets hormones and has "things" on his mind. Aside from normal teenager sullenness and horrifying billy-goat smells, the boys in my family all start out loudly obnoxious and gradually get better.
> 
> The girls are the opposite... I've just now stopped telling my oldest daughter on a weekly basis that some animals eat their young. She's 21.




Snappy, this is what I'm hoping! Everyone keeps telling me that boys get easier as they get older. I'm putting all of my hope in that! My teen girls are easy! They're quiet and bookish. They spoiled me and did not prepare me for boys!


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

I'm in the middle of helping him write apology letters... Be right back


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## fuzz-juzz (Aug 27, 2015)

I don't think I can help you but all I can say is that you are not alone.
I have 8 year old girl going on 18 and last night she actually made me cry. And it's not the first time. I am SO fed up with her.
At school she's an angel, at home complete monster.
I am petrified of what her teenage years will bring.


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## Stacyspy (Aug 27, 2015)

Yeah, my stepson couldn't manage to finish the first week of school...sigh... The nurse calls me this morning and tells me I have to pick him up because he has a fever...of 99.9...and he can't come back until Monday, just to be sure he isn't sick. So he thought he was going to come home and eat and watch TV and go in the pool. He got very angry that I gave him 2 aspirin and sent him to bed. Later, when stepdaughter gets home, she tells me how the kids on the bus are talking about Justin and how he took paper towels and wet them with hot water...because he's decided he isn't going to school...
I may start drinking heavily....


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## not_ally (Aug 27, 2015)

Oh, good, I'm glad the pediatrician said no.  I hesitated to even bring it up b/c I didn't want to sound alarming and it seems like docs are too quick to diagnose it these days, but I I just wanted to flag it in the very unlikely event (since you live in LA like me, and it seems to w/about 90% of kids in the general population) that it hadn't come up.  

I kind of hate the fact that it is so *overdiagnosed* (IMO) b/c then kids get put on meds that they sometimes do not need, and also the over-cautioning/diagnosis makes people disregard legitimate diagnoses when their kids could actually benefit.  Sorry, this is a hobby horse from some personal experience.  Your kid still just sounds like the normal "OMG, when is he going to grow out of this phase" type, though.  It would be great if you could video tape the break dancing for posterity, and I for one would really like to see it if he is up for a public demo 

Fuzz-juzz, my middle sister's daughter is 5 and she is *way* worse than the boys.  A will of steel and a temper to go with it.  She frequently gets put in time out, the last time my sister came back after a few minutes and said "Liv, have you had a chance to think about things?"  Response "I did think about them, and I think *you* should think about them."  Man, kids are scary, I really wanted them when I was younger, but at 52 I am kind of relieved I just have dogs


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## Susie (Aug 27, 2015)

Hang in there.  It may get better.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have put mine in track or something.  I hesitated because he is dyslexic, and he and I spent all after school hours learning what he should have gotten during the day.  If I had it to do over, I would have homeschooled.  I had to teach him anyway, and letting him have a run around the yard between subjects might have saved my sanity.


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## rparrny (Aug 27, 2015)

My son is the prime example of why some mother mammals eat their young...
I think my daughter was a reward for not consuming him....
As if I didn't think it would get any worse, then he turned 13, that very week it was like an alien took over his body...and kept it until he went into the Navy at 20...then he was THEIR problem.
Well he became a cryptologist with a top secret clearance...got a medal for doing something great but we can never know what that is (I could tell ya mom but then I would have to kill ya).  He's mid 30s now and I'm glad I didn't eat him...but boy it took a long time.
Hang in there!


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

fuzz-juzz said:


> I don't think I can help you but all I can say is that you are not alone.
> I have 8 year old girl going on 18 and last night she actually made me cry. And it's not the first time. I am SO fed up with her.
> At school she's an angel, at home complete monster.
> I am petrified of what her teenage years will bring.




I sympathize with you! My two younger ones have made me cry on more than one occasion. There were times when they were younger that I'd put myself in a time out in the bathroom. I swear kids can make a sane person go off the deep end. It make me feel better that I'm not the only one


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

Seawolfe said:


> An afterschool sport or activity that burns some of that extra energy off?
> Wish I was there to see the breakdancing




Me too. Sometimes I don't know whether to high-five him or ground him!


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

IrishLass said:


> Well, at least it was a break-dance party instead of something more nefarious. lol He sounds like he's a great kid but just needs a wise and understanding hand to steer all that energy in the right direction.
> 
> 
> IrishLass




Last year he was sent to the principal for throwing wet paper wads on the boys bathroom ceiling.. So ya, dancing is better haha..


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

commoncenz said:


> Viv, step away from the edge. I've been there twice with my sons. Once, I got called in to have a conference with the teacher because my oldest son was throwing away his homework on the bus and telling me he didn't have any. This was before the schools got wise and started putting homework assignments on the interwebs for parents to be able to see what their kids are supposed to be doing. Anyway, it appeared that my son was the class clown in addition to not doing his homework. So, we have the conference; with my son in attendance. At the end of the conference the teacher said:
> 
> "and what frustrates me Mr. Mason is that I KNOW that he's capable of doing the work and that he knows the subject very well."
> 
> ...




Ha!!! This describes my son exactly! Those all sound like things he'd do and say. Your stories have made me laugh and given me hope that I'm not raising a delinquent! Thank you for sharing!


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

Stacyspy said:


> Yeah, my stepson couldn't manage to finish the first week of school...sigh... The nurse calls me this morning and tells me I have to pick him up because he has a fever...of 99.9...and he can't come back until Monday, just to be sure he isn't sick. So he thought he was going to come home and eat and watch TV and go in the pool. He got very angry that I gave him 2 aspirin and sent him to bed. Later, when stepdaughter gets home, she tells me how the kids on the bus are talking about Justin and how he took paper towels and wet them with hot water...because he's decided he isn't going to school...
> 
> I may start drinking heavily....




What?? Those angels you posted pictures of just the other day? Lol. So funny and clever of him. I'll share a virtual glass of wine with you.


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

Susie said:


> Hang in there.  It may get better.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have put mine in track or something.  I hesitated because he is dyslexic, and he and I spent all after school hours learning what he should have gotten during the day.  If I had it to do over, I would have homeschooled.  I had to teach him anyway, and letting him have a run around the yard between subjects might have saved my sanity.




Susie, I have thought about homeschooling many times. I feel like some kids just aren't made to sit that long, mine is one of those. He would do so much better if he could get outside and run every hour. I've said so many times that the school needs to have classes just for kids like this. He wants to make things and build stuff and I see he just learns differently. I'd probably lose my mind trying to teach him at home.  He is so social and I realize that's mostly why he needs to be in school.


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## TVivian (Aug 27, 2015)

rparrny said:


> My son is the prime example of why some mother mammals eat their young...
> I think my daughter was a reward for not consuming him....
> As if I didn't think it would get any worse, then he turned 13, that very week it was like an alien took over his body...and kept it until he went into the Navy at 20...then he was THEIR problem.
> Well he became a cryptologist with a top secret clearance...got a medal for doing something great but we can never know what that is (I could tell ya mom but then I would have to kill ya).  He's mid 30s now and I'm glad I didn't eat him...but boy it took a long time.
> Hang in there!




 Thank you! 20 + more years and I know I'll have a boy who does some great stuff


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## TVivian (Aug 28, 2015)

shunt2011 said:


> Your story made me smile. My daughter was always extremely outgoing. I think it's actually a good trait. It's just a matter of figuring out how to find a happy medium. At least enough to keep them off the naughty list




I agree, I think outgoing is a great thing. I've always been a little on the shy side until I'm comfortable. I envy the way my sons can just walk up to anyone and start a conversation. I've tried to get him into sports, but losing just brings out his horrible competitive side. He's very musical but doesn't want to take direction. He really loves building things, and is frustrated that we won't let him use power tools alone yet. I think he's going to be on the naughty list for awhile, at least until his body catches up with his brain.


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## fuzz-juzz (Aug 28, 2015)

Haha oh yes good old time outs. Never worked for us unfortunately as well.
Except for me, I'm like you TVivian. When I have enough of BS from anyone in the house I just remove myself to bathroom, garden, etc. 
Boys might generally become better as they grow up. I have two more, they are my stepchildren but I've been their FT parent for 10 years now. Boy was really naughty, also running away from classes, hiding in trees and bushes until teachers find him, etc. He's now in his early 20s and really great young man, finished University and already working. Girl is in her late teens and oh boy did she give us trouble. She's becoming more understanding and less work but we still struggle at times. 
And with 8 year old I am really in a long run of teenage years... sigh haha.


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## rparrny (Aug 28, 2015)

fuzz-juzz said:


> At school she's an angel, at home complete monster.



My son's school had a dance which was really unique in that the parents were invited but separate from the kids.  The adults sat on one side of the room and the kids at the other...a big restaurant with a meal being served.  It was fun to watch them interact and during the dinner so many parents came over to me to tell me what a doll my son is...all I kept saying was "you must be mistaken, I'm _Joe's_ mom".  Turns out my little monster was ever _other_ parents dream...  I'd rather he be a monster at home than out in public...


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## newbie (Aug 29, 2015)

I LOVE the gingerbread man story. That is absolutely hilarious. I would have had a hard time not laughing my head off when called about it. 

My son is almost 17. He's always been his own person. Wore a formal suit to 1st grade every day for a month. Had to take him in the car stark naked to daycare because he refused to dress. I told him I would walk him in naked if he didn't get some clothes on in the parking lot. Had the school conference in 2nd grade where the teacher complained because my kid would correct her grammar in front of the whole class. But seriously, she's a TEACHER!!! And his corrections were indeed correct. He would also just say no when she asked him to do something because he didn't see the point. Got suspended in middle school (totally deserved that). I drove one night to pick him up from a friend's and as he was putting his bike in the car, we were suddenly surrounded by 4 cop cars with their lights on because, unbeknownst to me, he and his friends had decided to play a "joke" on an adult stranger making it look like they were trying to deliver drugs to her. Another time, he and his friend were lighting firecrackers in a marsh and someone called the police. They had the police, with their vests on, surround them with their weapons drawn because they thought my son and his friend were shooters. That turned out fine, but it's a series of issues all the time! That said, he's a great kid, with a lot of originality and he's actually really responsible. Not an adult yet so I can't tell you he is successful on his own, but I know he will be. 

True he did not turn a classroom into a dance floor. They are trying and they need to know there are consequences but seeing some of the humor in it does help, even if you can find that humor a little after the fact. 

Dang, I really kind of wish my kid had come up with the gingerbread stunt and the reply as to why he did it. That is golden.


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