# this weekend has been really hard



## rubato456 (Sep 12, 2009)

last night, a boy i had never seen before rang the door and pushed the barely conscious, vomit covered body of my 18 year old daughter into my arms and said sorry about this and drove off into the night. she was completely ....i dont know what the word is other than she tore off all of her clothes and ran around the house naked completely delirious, i guess is how i would describe it. i called 911 and had the paramedics take her to the hospital as i didn't think i could manage her on my own.

she doesn't remember who she was with or anything.....her blood alchohol level was 300. at 400 ppl can stop breathing and die.

they sent her home around 4 am after she had sobered up a bit. at 1 pm today we had to rush her back as she said she couldn't swallow or move her eyes....turned out she was having a reaction to one of the meds they gave her to calm her down last night, haldol. she was having a dystonic crisis, and apparently a bad one. 

i'm absolutely numb after all of this. we are going to get her into drug counsuling but she won't sign herself in as inpatient, and we can't force her as she's 18.

i had all these soaps planned to make this weekend.  i don't have the strength to do any of that now.


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## Rosey (Sep 12, 2009)

Oh Deborah. I am so sorry you had such a hard time. I'm glad at least, they brought her home so the paramedics could help her. Maybe in a few days, she'll realize she needs help.

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

*HUG*


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## Galavanting Gifts (Sep 12, 2009)

Deborah, I havn't posted much at all lately as very have some serious issues and battles of our own happening here but I am thinking of you during this time. 
It sounds like every mothers nighmare to have your daughter shoved in your arms by some guy. What a shame you didn't have someone with you to grab him by the scruff of the neck and pump him for info. I guess at least he made the effort to bring her home.
 I hope it all starts looking up for you real soon.


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## Saltysteele (Sep 12, 2009)

so sorry, Deb  

was there anything else on board? sounds like more than just alcohol.

i pray she has learned from her mistake.  keep in mind, she is a person, and also your daughter.

my prayers are with you guys


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## Sibi (Sep 12, 2009)

Deborah,

I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your daughter.  I know the kid didn't give any info but thank goodness he brought her home!!  He could have left her laying around God knows where.

I don't know why your daughter is doing these things.  Is there something that is bothering her that is causing her to act out like this that you perhaps don't know about?  Maybe she should see a therapist? Is she hanging out with the wrong crowd?  Will she talk to you?

My prayers are with you Deborah.  Take one day at a time and don't forget to be kind to yourself despite all these troubles.

Sibi


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## SilverMaple (Sep 12, 2009)

Oh no....

Stay strong.  I will be sending good thoughts and prayers for both you and your daughter.

*hugs*


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## Guest (Sep 12, 2009)

Saltysteele said:
			
		

> so sorry, Deb
> 
> was there anything else on board? sounds like more than just alcohol.
> 
> ...



This was my FIRST thought also, could she have been drugged with something? It sounds like someone slipped her something other than just alcohol. I am so sorry, I will pray for you and your family.


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## krissy (Sep 12, 2009)

my prayers will be with you and your family. ((hugs))


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## rubato456 (Sep 12, 2009)

thanks so much for your well wishes and prayers. unfortunately she does not open up much to me or my husband, but i agree she must be upset about something. this is not the first time she has come home really drunk, but this is the worst she's ever been....i have made some phone calls and i am hoping even though she initially rejected in patient treatment that perhaps she will consider intensive outpatient treatment, or day hospital treatment

i wonder about something else being on board as well. i agree someone could have slipped her something. i asked them to do a drug screen at the hospital but apparently one was never done.....


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## donniej (Sep 12, 2009)

Having spent significant time around drug users, I'm torn on whether to say she has a problem or not.  Obviously this is not good behavior but I wouldn't panic that she's an addict or doing drugs until you have more info... and I strongly suggest you get more info.  You really need to find this boy and get him to talk.  Look up your daughter on Facebook and Myspace and dig through her profile and her friends profiles.  I usually don't think doing this is appropriate but it's my opinion that you should try to figure out whether she's simply been hanging out with some bad folks lately or if she really has a problem.  

I can't imagine it would be cheap but you can get a hair folicle test.  This will show virtually every drug she's done as far back as her hair is old.  I don't believe alcohol will show up in this.  This would certainly give you a lot of information on what she's doing and for how long...  

I have more experience dealing with this kind of thing than I'd care to share in public.  Feel free to PM me if you think there's any questions I can answer for you.


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## pops1 (Sep 12, 2009)

My thoughts are with you ,as the saying goes "been there done that".Just be strong and don't whatever you do blame yourself like l did then you end up with two lots of problems to handle instead of one.


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## LJA (Sep 12, 2009)

rubato456 said:
			
		

> last night, a boy i had never seen before rang the door and pushed the barely conscious, vomit covered body of my 18 year old daughter into my arms and said sorry about this and drove off into the night. she was completely ....i dont know what the word is other than she tore off all of her clothes and ran around the house naked completely delirious, i guess is how i would describe it. i called 911 and had the paramedics take her to the hospital as i didn't think i could manage her on my own.
> 
> she doesn't remember who she was with or anything.....her blood alchohol level was 300. at 400 ppl can stop breathing and die.
> 
> ...




Kitten Love are they giving her *HALDOL* for??!!  
Ugh...sorry Deborah.  I feel your pain.  My 20 year old is making me wanna choke him too...not substances, just general buffoonery.  This is why some species eat their young.

Hang in there, Mom.


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2009)

Oh Deborah , I can't imagine how frightening that was . I think I would be laying some rules down . No drinking or drugging while she lives in your home . If she can't make good choices , somebody else has to . If she can't abide by the rules , she finds her own place to live . Tough love is sometimes the only way  that they learn . Been there  done that and have a t-shirt or 2 .

Hugs 
Kitn


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2009)

You could check into some counseling for yourself.
While you cannot control another person (your daughter), 
you can control yourself (for the better).

Counseling is like having a wise friend to help you cope
and help you improve the situation. An outsider always
has a better view of a situation and they will see things
you don't see. At the very least, you will have an
educated person to help you vent frustrations. You can
get a lot of bad advice by venting to "just anyone."

Good luck.

"It can't rain forever. The sun's gonna shine some day."


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## heyjude (Sep 13, 2009)

So very sorry to read about your daughter Deborah.

 Last year a friend of my daughters was found unconscious outside his dorm and was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. His parents were called at 2 in the morning not knowing when they arrived if they would find their son alive.  He survived and while feeling humiliated and stupid learned a very valuable lesson. Perhaps, this it the wakeup call your daughter needs.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Jude


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## dandelion (Sep 13, 2009)

tough love, you may want to consider putting her out.  maybe if she has to consider survival vs getting high, she'll choose survival.  my thoughts are with you and your family.


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## rubato456 (Sep 13, 2009)

she has agreed to be evaluated for an intensive outpatient drug rehab program. we are going together on tuesday morning. she had to call in to work sick yesterday and today she was so ill from her overdose and i think she was experiencing withdrawl symptoms from alcohol as well (felt like crawling out of her skin.....)

they gave her haldol because she was delirious and out of control in the er, i wasn't happy about that but they had to restrain her too.....i was there and watching everything and stayed with her to try to calm her down which happened eventually but it was a tough nite for both of us.

i think that calling 911 was the best thing i could have done. otherwise she would have slept it off (maybe) and laughed about it and did her usual....that's what us teenagers do.....i think this was a wake up call for her, which i meant it to be.....she had to know how high her blood alcohol was and that she is really playing with fire.

i think she is definitely addicted to alcohol...she's been drinking heavily for some time. i also have 2 brothers and an aunt who are seriously alcoholic and have been for many years. i've tried to warn her about this, about how it runs in family and all that. but until now she just laughed it off.


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## LJA (Sep 13, 2009)

rubato456 said:
			
		

> she has agreed to be evaluated for an intensive outpatient drug rehab program. we are going together on tuesday morning. she had to call in to work sick yesterday and today she was so ill from her overdose and i think she was experiencing withdrawl symptoms from alcohol as well (felt like crawling out of her skin.....)
> 
> they gave her haldol because she was delirious and out of control in the er, i wasn't happy about that but they had to restrain her too.....i was there and watching everything and stayed with her to try to calm her down which happened eventually but it was a tough nite for both of us.
> 
> i think that calling 911 was the best thing i could have done. otherwise she would have slept it off (maybe) and laughed about it and did her usual....that's what us teenagers do.....i think this was a wake up call for her, which i meant it to be.....she had to know how high her blood alcohol was and that she is really playing with fire.



Wow.  I think you did the right thing too, Deb...


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## heyjude (Sep 13, 2009)

Agreeing to be evaluated is an encouraging sign that she realizes that she is out of control and wants to change her life. A baby step, but nonetheless the possibility of a new beginning. Let us know how it goes.

Jude


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2009)

Good for you Deborah . My thoughts and prayers are with your family . Hopefully the situation scared her straight.

Hugs 
Kitn


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## artisan soaps (Sep 14, 2009)

..


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## Saltysteele (Sep 14, 2009)

just keep an eye on her deb.  not to scare you, or anything, but some alcoholics going through withdrawals will actually have seizures from lack of alcohol.

good luck!  i'm praying for the best, and for strength for you!

i think sometimes it is harder for the family of addicts, than it is for the addict, at this stage.


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## Sibi (Sep 14, 2009)

Deborah,

I'm very glad to hear that she is agreeable to a treatment plan!  That's definitely a step in the right direction.  It'll be a hard time for her but well worth it!

Don't forget to take care of yourself too!

Sibi


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## Bnky (Sep 14, 2009)

Deborah:  "this weekend has been really bad" to say the least.  I am so sorry for your frightening weekend, but happy to hear your daughter is going to counseling.  If she is running around naked due to drugs and alcohol that she willingly drank and took, it sounds like this is definitely a problem that she needs to deal with.  On the other hand, if someone slipped something into her drink (which is very common with teens), then she may want to start hanging out in different places and maybe even with different people.  Whatever it is, it must be hard for you as a parent.  It sounds like she is a good girl deep down, or she would not agree to counseling.  I will pray for you and your family.


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## wookie130 (Sep 14, 2009)

First of all, I want to give you an encouraging hug for all you went through this weekend...a very, very tough break, and I'm sorry both you and your girl went through any of it.

Secondly, I know what it is to live with a chronic alcoholic/addict, and I can tell you some things quite concretely.  If your daughter does indeed have an addiction, there may be little if anything that will "scare her straight."  Alcoholism/addiction is a disease, an actual illness...and you did not cause it, you can't control it, and nothing you can do can cure it.  If your girl genuinely has this disease, it may be necessary to distance yourself from her, so that you do not allow her illness to make YOU sick.  Sick in the sense that you let her disease control YOU...often, those of us who love an addict/alcoholic let the behaviors and sickness of the addict/alcoholic run our lives.  This is when we must learn to live for OURSELVES, and how to make our OWN lives manageable, with or without the alcoholic/addict.

To keep it simple, take care of YOU.  It sounds like treatment is a step in the right direction.  But I'd proceed with cautious optimism if she truly has a problem...relapse is a natural part of this disease, and many people relapse MANY MANY times.  However, you cannot sit around worrying or wondering if she is going to slip up, or when you'll have to go through this nightmare again...you must live for yourself, and learn to let things be.  The only people we can truly manage and control is ourselves.

Big hugs to you, and best of luck.


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