# So I did something crazy yesterday..



## Nanooo48 (Sep 26, 2018)

so guys..I’m not a blogger. I own an Apple computer for a year and a half and don’t know how to use it yet. I use my phone for everything. I’m like a behind in times 34 year old. I don’t know what happened to me. Sorry. But I’m going to get personal here for a moment. Purely because I’m just not ready to go out into the real world with this all yet. 
Yesterday my sister lost her baby. Her baby girl Iris we were looking forward to so much with such loving and hoping hearts. The day after Christmas my sister lost another baby girl full term to still birth.. born sleeping. So this was her little rainbow baby. It’s been soul crushing. 
So my sister for a long time now has been a part of all of these groups on line and I’ve just never made sense of talking to strangers about my problems? In fact I’m not even sure who I’m writing to right now and it’s a little weird but I just feel like my heart is throbbing out of my body and I have nowhere for these words to go right now. 
So anyway.. with all the waiting since I am out of state and unable to leave to be with her I found myself pacing my apartment waiting, holding my phone, driving myself insane with my thoughts wishing I could have a glass of wine or something to calm down but do to my own health issues and medications I have to be on I can’t handle alcohol very well lol. BUT I did remember I picked up a bottle of Berrywine scent from bramble berry and had an idea. Not sure if this is a major soaping no no, but I sure do hope it comes out nice. I tried to put my heart and ALL my mind into it for the time being. And I hope it gelled all the way through. I even built it a little cardboard house for the night with towel to retain as much heat as possible. Trying for the darkest wine color possible. The very ends look iffy but the cut will tell I guess. So tell me. Would you gasp in horror at this soap? Or think as a wino ohhh how cute and grab this up. Lol cuz I think it was cute haha. 
Listen. I’m sorry for venting here but I’m glad I did. I don’t really know ANY of you so I’m sorry. But if you pray my family could truly use some prayers right now. We have all been going through so much and could really use a ray of sunshine and soon.... I will be with my sister again thanksgiving. And it can’t come soon enough....

PS I did have some cracking in a couple areas (bummer)


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## Saponificarian (Sep 26, 2018)

So sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine your pain but I am sending you happy thoughts. 

Your soap does look ‘winey’ in a pretty way. Well done.


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## mommycarlson (Sep 26, 2018)

Oh my, my eyes filled up with tears reading your post.  I am so sorry for your family's losses.  My heart hurts for your sister, I had a friend who had a stillbirth in 1990.  We had all four of our babies together and I was still pregnant with my youngest when she lost hers.  It was heart wrenching.   Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.  

I have made wine soap before, even used that same FO.  I never would have thought of putting a cork in it    It looks lovely, I hope it was therapeutic for you.  HUGS


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## cmzaha (Sep 26, 2018)

Prayers and good wishes to you and your family during these heartbreaking times. Sometimes we just cannot understand the Big Guy Above and his reasons. Hope your sis makes it through the depressive times that surely come with such tragedies, and does not give up. I had a neighbor that lost 4 babes in a row and doc told her no more tries. They adopted and approx a year later perfect beautiful twins came  and one more little girl a couple of yrs later. We just cannot know the plan...

Your wine soap looks great other than questioning the corks stuck in it. I and my customers hate thing stuck in soap and the cork will probably break off in the soap. Wine soap is very nice with the added lather from all the sugars in the wine which is also why it overheated enough to crack. 

Well wishes again to all of you. Good you will get to be with your sister soon, but I can understand not soon enough...


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## dixiedragon (Sep 26, 2018)

Praying for you and your sister. You are of course welcome here, but you may also find it beneficial to post to forums dealing with loss, such as Babycenter.

I think your soaps are super cute and can't wait to see them cut! Where did you get the corks? I can't really tell how big they are - my only concern is that are they wider than a bar of soap?

I think as far as holding and using the soap, the corks aren't going to be scratchy or harsh (like dried rosemary for example) and won't clog your drain!


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## SusanP (Sep 26, 2018)

I am saying prayers for you all.  How horrible!

I saw you wine picture and fell in love.  First, because I have never really wanted to try it and love that other people do, and second the corks!  That brought a smile to my face, as it was a wonderful idea.


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## Misschief (Sep 26, 2018)

My heart aches for you and, especially, your sister. Please remember that there are real people behind all the names and faces. We've all gone through things in our lives and we've all leaned on online friends when we didn't have anyone else to lean on. That's the beauty of online families. Support is support. 

Love the soap. I do hope it helped ease the pain just the tiniest bit.


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## saratk (Sep 26, 2018)

If I saw this on sale somewhere, I would not gasp in horror but my brow would furrow in confusion. I think the cork makes a hole in the bar of soap for no aesthetic or practical purpose and, when the bar of soap is kept in a humid shower, there's the likelihood of the cork getting moldy before the soap's been used. I like the color otherwise!


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## scard (Sep 26, 2018)

How very sad. Your family must be absolutely devastated, I hope that ray of sun shines on all of you soon.
As far as the soap goes what a clever idea, I love it!


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## amd (Sep 26, 2018)

Love your soap! Soaping is better therapy than drinking.

So sorry for your family's loss. When I was pregnant with my daughter, the doctor discovered a heart defect, he said she wouldn't live after birth. I went to the specialist 2 hours away every month for a 3D ultrasound, every month the same thing. My last appointment was on a Friday, I was due Monday. He looked and looked at the ultrasound, left the room for 45 minutes and then came back. Told me that the defect was completely gone, not a trace, and that I should go home and get ready for a baby - and to stay pregnant as long as possible 'cuz she had a lot of growing to do. I went 11 days over my due date. Two hours before my daughter was born, a little girl was stillborn in the room next to me. I say a prayer for that family every year on the birthday, apologizing for their loss and praying for their healing, and thankful that I get to have my little girl. I'll be keeping you and your sister in prayer for healing.


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## msunnerstood (Sep 26, 2018)

I just picked up a bottle of wine to make wine soap myself so its not crazy.

 I am sorry for everything that you and your family are going through


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## szaza (Sep 26, 2018)

What a tragic story! I can't even begin tot imagine what you're going through.. But it's also beautyful to see how you channeled your emotions through  sosoapmaking. The result looks absolutely wonderful and I hope it gives you some joy in these dark times. Take care!


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## Nanooo48 (Sep 26, 2018)

Thank you all for your kind comments and much needed prayers. My sister is still waiting a very detailed hysterectomy. There is a large team of doctors that need to be involved in this surgery so it’s very scary. They have pushed it til tomorrow so it’s like agony all around... they have always had plans to adopt. They still do. With time and healing... 

As for these dang corks. They are super cute. Half the people who want my soaps never want to use them! And always want to use them for decoration so I always have that in mind (reluctantly) when I’m designing them in my mind so that’s where the corks came in. They are close to the top and I made sure of it so they can be taken out when ready to use. It will not take much to pop the bad boys out of there. As for someone who asked. I bought the corks at Michaels! They come in a variety of sizes so I used the smaller sizes in the container..


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## OldHippie (Sep 26, 2018)

Just ignore the insensitive, confused, aesthetics challenged, mycophobic critic.
I'm also eager to see your soap cut.  I always enjoy seeing imaginative new ways to represent a theme.  The surprise is part of the appeal.


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## cmzaha (Sep 26, 2018)

OldHippie said:


> Just ignore the insensitive, confused, aesthetics challenged, mycophobic critic.
> I'm also eager to see your soap cut.  I always enjoy seeing imaginative new ways to represent a theme.  The surprise is part of the appeal.


As usual I suppose you are referring to me  And just for the record I am not confused, insensitive, or aesthetics challenged or a mycophobic critic, whatever that is.  Mycophobia refers to fear of mushrooms.  That was incredibly rude, and was not the place for it...  


I am so sorry to hear about the upcoming surgery, that takes away choices. Again prayers for all of you


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## OldHippie (Sep 26, 2018)

cmzaha said:


> As usual I suppose you are referring to me


 No, don't flatter yourself, I was not referring to you.


cmzaha said:


> I am not confused, insensitive, or aesthetics challenged or a mycophobic critic


So then, why did you think that I was referring to you?

Now you're making be look back to see why you would think that.  I don't pay attention to names much.  I just call it as I see it as I go along.


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## artemis (Sep 26, 2018)

Guys, I don't think this is the place for an argument to break out. Can we please just drop it? Thanks.


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## cmzaha (Sep 26, 2018)

yep and i agree


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## dibbles (Sep 26, 2018)

I am so sorry for your family. It is an incredibly sad loss. Sending hugs.


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## SunRiseArts (Sep 27, 2018)

I am sorry you and your sister are going through this.  I lost 2 babies in the womb.  One at 5 months.  I understand the pain.

Your soap is great.  I have done exactly the same soap without the corks on top.  I used merlot wine and the same very scent from BB!

I would love to see it cut!

I still have a couple of bars of that one.


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## CaraBou (Sep 27, 2018)

Soaping is great therapy. Hope you and your sister find consolation in this troubling time.


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## KimT2au (Sep 27, 2018)

Oh, @Nanooo48 , I am so very sorry to hear of your family's pain and loss.  It is a terrible tragedy.  I am glad that you found some outlet with your soap making.  I wish I was close enough to hug you.


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## cmzaha (Sep 28, 2018)

@Naooo48 I sent you a private apology message a few days ago


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## Nanooo48 (Oct 1, 2018)

Hi guys thank you all for your loving support for a perfect stranger in this crafty soap world of ours.. I just wanted to update you on the situation and share with you the cuts I cut. 
I am in Arizona now. I took the soonest flight I could and took an unpaid leave of absence from work to be with my sister. She ended up having an 11 hour life saving surgery. Longest 11 hour wait of my life.... the placenta grew like cancer in her body. Through the uterus and through her bladder in 3 different places. The condition is called placenta Acreta. And it was one of the worst cases the trauma surgeon has ever seen. The only other two worst one he’s seen was where he was performing cpr on the the other two patients.. I’m so thankful it didn’t result in that with her.. she needed many transfusions due to hemmoraghing and there was just so much involved but all in all Iris Rayne lost her life to save her mommy and as sad as we all are to go through this again we couldn’t be more grateful to still have my sister here and with us still. I’m so grateful to be here staying with her in the hospital right now... I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Thank you all for your prayers. I truly believe it aided in getting her out of that operating room alive. She has a long road to recovery. Physically and emotionally... 
here are the soap cuts. I had a few friends stopping by to check on me before I headed out and they were on my table and well of course they were winos or know one and fell in love with them so they are already a hit. They are cute. And smell great too. Gotta love B.B.  and the cork can be easily popped out when the soap wants to be used if pulled against the angle it’s sitting at. So it’ll be fine in that aspect. Or cute for decoration as I know so many just want it as decoration .


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## cmzaha (Oct 1, 2018)

Nanooo48 said:


> View attachment 32296
> View attachment 32297
> Hi guys thank you all for your loving support for a perfect stranger in this crafty soap world of ours.. I just wanted to update you on the situation and share with you the cuts I cut.
> I am in Arizona now. I took the soonest flight I could and took an unpaid leave of absence from work to be with my sister. She ended up having an 11 hour life saving surgery. Longest 11 hour wait of my life.... the placenta grew like cancer in her body. Through the uterus and through her bladder in 3 different places. The condition is called placenta Acreta. And it was one of the worst cases the trauma surgeon has ever seen. The only other two worst one he’s seen was where he was performing cpr on the the other two patients.. I’m so thankful it didn’t result in that with her.. she needed many transfusions due to hemmoraghing and there was just so much involved but all in all Iris Rayne lost her life to save her mommy and as sad as we all are to go through this again we couldn’t be more grateful to still have my sister here and with us still. I’m so grateful to be here staying with her in the hospital right now... I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Thank you all for your prayers. I truly believe it aided in getting her out of that operating room alive. She has a long road to recovery. Physically and emotionally...
> here are the soap cuts. I had a few friends stopping by to check on me before I headed out and they were on my table and well of course they were winos or know one and fell in love with them so they are already a hit. They are cute. And smell great too. Gotta love B.B.  and the cork can be easily popped out when the soap wants to be used if pulled against the angle it’s sitting at. So it’ll be fine in that aspect. Or cute for decoration as I know so many just want it as decoration .


Thankyou for the update. I had a friend that went through the same problems many many years ago, but no where as severe as your sis. Prayers certainly do help. 

The color turned out really pretty and a perfect wine soap color.


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## SeattleMartin (Oct 6, 2018)

My condolences. Also, Super cute soap!


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## Relle (Oct 7, 2018)

The soap turned out a lovely dark colour, pretty with the glitter as well.


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## scard (Oct 7, 2018)

I'm sure your presence will be a big help in all areas of your sister's recovery. The soaps are great!


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## Zany_in_CO (Oct 11, 2018)

Nanooo48 said:


> Yesterday my sister lost her baby. ... It’s been soul crushing.


My sister carried twins for 6 months before she lost them. "Soul crushing" is a good description. I was several states away when it happened too. I cried at first and teared up for days after it happened and feel the sadness in my throat even now. It's something I don't think you ever get over.


Nanooo48 said:


> I’ve just never made sense of talking to strangers about my problems? ... In fact I’m not even sure who I’m writing to right now and it’s a little weird but I just feel like my heart is throbbing out of my body and I have nowhere for these words to go right now.


Good for you for trusting us enough to be able to just tell it like it is. I'm glad you did and I hope you're glad as well. <BIG hug>


Nanooo48 said:


> I tried to put my heart and ALL my mind into it for the time being.


Good for you. Literally. Been there; done that. Soap making is a wonderful escape from the real world -- and who doesn't need that from time to time?


Nanooo48 said:


> So tell me. Would you gasp in horror at this soap? Or think as a wino ohhh how cute and grab this up. Lol cuz I think it was cute haha.


Those soaps are the best wine soaps I've ever seen! Real corkers! Well done!


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## Nanooo48 (Oct 25, 2018)

My sister is hanging in there, and I wanted to thank everyone for their kind heartfelt support through a very hard time.. she is healing body, mind and soul as much as time allows.. Time is that tricky ingredient to healing though. As frustrating as it is.. It’s going to take time. Here’s the finished wine soap. I will be posting another soap I’m a bit perplexed about soon. Lol


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## loriag (Oct 25, 2018)

I am so sorry for all your sister and you as her family has gone through. Thank you for sharing with all here, prayers for healing from me. 

I really love your soaps, super fun, I know a wine maker who would just love these.


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## Nanooo48 (Oct 26, 2018)

loriag said:


> I am so sorry for all your sister and you as her family has gone through. Thank you for sharing with all here, prayers for healing from me.
> 
> I really love your soaps, super fun, I know a wine maker who would just love these.


Thank you so much..


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## HoneyLady (Oct 26, 2018)

Praying for your family and losses.

The soap is fabulous!  I would have grabbed them right away (being a sot) and sniffed.  I have seen wine cork shaped *candles* that would have been fun, too.  In fact, I have added birthday candles to soap cupcakes, to complete the "look" .  I think it was a great visual cue (along with the color) to hint at the scent / theme.

Take care of yourself, and your family, and remember that "coping" can involve soap, and creativity, and crafting of all kinds!

--Honey Lady--


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## Orchidgirl (Oct 27, 2018)

Your soap is beautiful and so creative. Very well done. 

And I'm sorry for your family's heartbreaking loss. I've always thought it unfair that in the English language we have words for children who lose parents (orphans) and spouses who lose their partners (widows/widowers) but there are no words (literally) for parents who are bereaved of their children. Worst pain imaginable. And hardly ever discussed, which makes it worse.

I have been there myself. I will certainly pray for continued healing for you and for your sister.


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## SoapAddict415 (Oct 27, 2018)

I haven't been on for awhile and I just saw your post. I'm sorry to hear about your sister and your family's loss. I went thru a similar experience with a close friend years ago. I pray that your heartaches will be rewarded with a healthy little one in the future. Putting corks in a wine soap was genius! I never would've thought of that either.


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## earlene (Nov 10, 2018)

Your soap is beautiful.  Your sister is healing.  Your niece is in heaven.  As someone who has lost a spouse, and a baby brother, I cannot understand why we lose the ones we love.  There are no words that console, at least for me none ever did.  When my baby brother drowned, it was years before my mother and father were able to speak of him without crying.  In fact it was years before my brothers and I could, too.  We miss them forever.  I cannot fathom the loss of a child and hope I never have to.  I am so sorry for your sister, but I am glad you were able to be with her through much of her life threatening ordeal and help her and her family through some of the grieving.


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