# Where is our reality show?



## Zing (Nov 20, 2021)

Mrs. Zing loves blown glass and is watching a show called Blown Away.  My kids got me hooked on Forged in Fire about making knives and swords.  Nailed It could cure depression.  

We need a show!  Think of the drama!  Waiting 24 hours for the cut!  Heated discussions about the term "natural"!  Glycerin rivers disqualification resulting in @KiwiMoose breaking down on camera!


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## AliOop (Nov 20, 2021)

ooooo I like this! We can have a panel of experts analyzing recipes and soap problems, resulting in such drama!

"Those are stearic spots."

"No, they are air bubbles, exacerbated by the wire cutter!"

"You are both idiots! Those are undissolved lye crystals, and the soap is hazardous to human life!!"

_(fight breaks out on camera, chairs are smashed, etc.)_


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 20, 2021)

A reality show for us! What fun that would be!  Suggestions for what it could be called:

Lather Up!
All in a Lather!
Big Bubbles or Bust!
The Real Soap Opera


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## CreativeWeirdo (Nov 20, 2021)

Sudz Up!


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## Misschief (Nov 20, 2021)

Zany_in_CO said:


> The Real Soap Opera


Bonus points if you sing while you're making your soap.


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## AliOop (Nov 20, 2021)

Misschief said:


> Bonus points if you sing while you're making your soap.


Like the little Italian grandma on YT who sings while she shows you how to make ravioli!!


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## lsg (Nov 20, 2021)

Sounds like YouTube to me.


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 20, 2021)

Can't wait to see @Zany_in_CO faint IRL (and rip down the curtain) when someone tosses a flawed soap batch!

We also need that one swing in the garden. Each time someone has put a batch of soap to rest/CPOP (and was cheeky enough to tell people about it), they will be tied down on the swing, and guarded by a grim lynch mob to stay there for full 24 hours without food and drink.


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 20, 2021)

ResolvableOwl said:


> Can't wait to see @Zany_in_CO faint IRL (and rip down the curtain) when someone tosses a flawed soap batch!




 <<< Click on it.


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 20, 2021)

Yes, but in colour and with sound please. Today's TV audience can expect that.


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## TheGecko (Nov 20, 2021)

I'd do it.


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## Mobjack Bay (Nov 20, 2021)

We could have Signature, Technical and Show Stopper Challenges, just like on the Great British Baking Show.  @Zing Do you have steely blue eyes?  We need a judge who stares stoned-faced at the makers (rhymes with bakers) as the temperature in the tent soars and their soaps begin to volcano.


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## Zing (Nov 20, 2021)

Mobjack Bay said:


> We could have Signature, Technical and Show Stopper Challenges, just like on the Great British Baking Show.  @Zing Do you have steely blue eyes?  We need a judge who stares stoned-faced at the makers (rhymes with bakers) as the temperature in the tent soars and their soaps begin to volcano.


Uh, yeah, look at my avatar.  Steely blue eyes, check!  Gotta work on the stone face....


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## Johnez (Nov 21, 2021)

I'm imagining conversations like this for "West Coast Soapers":

-You put dirt in shave soap?!

-Its called bentonite and it's for slip!

-Dirt dulls blades!

-Doesn't shaving already dull them???

-Use glycerin!!!


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## Becky1024 (Nov 21, 2021)

I just saw a trailer for “Meet Your Maker” with Chrissy Metz and Leann Rimes. An episode is on artesian soap making. Their definition of “artesian” is melt ‘n pour. Uh no, not interested.


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 21, 2021)

Becky1024 said:


> “Meet Your Maker”




Here's another one: Saponification Nation 



ResolvableOwl said:


> Can't wait to see @Zany_in_CO faint IRL (and rip down the curtain) when someone tosses a flawed soap batch!


I think I still have that outfit tucked away in a cedar chest in the attic.  Perfect for the crazy old Auntie who resides there. Even the best of families has one, doncha know?


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## Quilter99755 (Nov 21, 2021)

I'd qualify as the little (in height only), old (definitely) gramma (got three), but am totally tone deaf. The only time I sing is when I'm alone and even then I turn the volume up enough to wake the dead so that I don't hear myself sing! It's bad! I could go without my hearing aids and be on "silent running" so that contestants could be arguing around me and I'd be totally in my own world! I'm great at that.

You guys crack me up! Love y'all.


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## Cat&Oak (Nov 21, 2021)

I've thought about this too Zing I think the reason why is the cure time for handmade soap. They could definitely do one for melt and pour artistry though 

My hubby said "They thought about it but then they washed their hands of it "


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## TheGecko (Nov 21, 2021)

Cat&Oak said:


> I've thought about this too Zing I think the reason why is the cure time for handmade soap.



I was thinking about that last night.  It would be simple enough to set up a Signature, Technical and Show Stopper Challenges, just like on the Great British Baking Show as mentioned by @Mobjack Bay...make the soaps one day, then splice in the unmolding and cut like folks do in videos from the next day after each "challenge", but just as taste is an important component in the baking challenge, so is curing you soap.  I make a good quality soap, but there is a difference between soap that is 48 hours old and soap that is six weeks old.


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## Zing (Nov 21, 2021)

So clearly no one in the industry reads this forum but I'm still loving these posts!  My fave titles are The Real Soap Opera and Saponification Nation!


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## Mobjack Bay (Nov 21, 2021)

Or, the makers submit soap in advance for quality assessment and from there it’s all about how it smells and looks when made using only that recipe.


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 21, 2021)

Zing said:


> Saponification Nation


Sapoficination  



Mobjack Bay said:


> Or, the makers submit soap in advance for quality assessment and from there it’s all about how it smells and looks when made using only that recipe.


Dudes, have you never seen TV shows? CLIFFHANGERS! What could be better than a catchy “Aaaand, how will the soap perform? That, peeps, we'll find out in the next episode of _Sapoficination_™!”, and prepend each episode with a “What happened so far” fast-forward through the funniest mishaps of the last show.


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## Mobjack Bay (Nov 21, 2021)

If someone is working on a budget for the show, don’t forget to include the funding that will be needed to pay dozens of judges to adequately and fairly evaluate the soap qualities.


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## TheGecko (Nov 21, 2021)

Mobjack Bay said:


> Or, the makers submit soap in advance for quality assessment and from there it’s all about how it smells and looks when made using only that recipe.



That would work with the "Signature" and "Show Stopper" since the Signature is about something that you are known for and you get to practice the Show Stopper, but Technical is about knowing your craft.  So maybe instead of requiring a cure, the Technical would simply be about how well can you do certain techniques or designs like Ghost Swirls, Clyde Slide, Taiwan Swirl, etc.



> If someone is working on a budget for the show, don’t forget to include the funding that will be needed to pay dozens of judges to adequately and fairly evaluate the soap qualities.



You don't need a dozen Judges...just two or three who are well known and respected.

ETA - But no Gordon Ramsey types or we'd have to hold him/her down and wash their mouth out with the challenge.


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## Mobjack Bay (Nov 21, 2021)

TheGecko said:


> You don't need a dozen Judges...just two or three who are well known and respected.



It’s the cleansing quality preference that has me most worried


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## Drchurchillsoaps (Nov 21, 2021)

My vote is for judging panel and show like forged in fire. 
forged by hydroxide!


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 21, 2021)

Zing said:


> So clearly no one in the industry reads this forum but I'm still loving these posts!  My fave titles are The Real Soap Opera and Saponification Nation!


"The Real Soap Opera", brought to you by Saponification Nation, a Motley Crew of International Lyers.


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## KiwiMoose (Nov 21, 2021)

Your browser is not able to display this video.


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## CreativeWeirdo (Nov 21, 2021)

We've got a theme song!  Thank you @KiwiMoose


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## KiwiMoose (Nov 21, 2021)

CreativeWeirdo said:


> We've got a theme song!  Thank you @KiwiMoose


That was the clean version. There’s another one with lots of slapping and banging mentioned.


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 21, 2021)

Hmm.  Since we are a nation of "international lyers", rather than the Brit Baking Show, instead, we simplify things with weekly episodes, each covering the day in the life of a member from a different country.

Episode 1 - New Zealand.*"Ms Kiwi Moose Sees Red" *

There's a script in that thread somewhere..._ Confidently, our heroine starts creating a batch of soap in her own inimitable way, weighing each ingredient carefully as she goes along. Almost finished and ready to put the soap to bed,  when SUPRISE! Tragedy strikes! She drops the red mica. It sprays all over making her kitchen look like a recent homicide! At first she's angry! Then flumoxed. Then tearful as she woefully turns to her computer for support from the group, many of whom bite their tongues to keep from laughing at the sight, before commiserating and encouraging her to do what needs to be done, like it or not. She dries her tears. Heads back to the kitchen. Takes one look at the mess. Opens the fridge, pulls out a bottle and pours a glass of Pinot Grigio. She carries it to the living room and sighs as she plops into her chair, puts her feet up on the ottoman and downs the wine while gazing into the flames of a crackling fire in the fireplace. The wine glass slips from her hand as she nods off to dream of a better day. Fade to black._



KiwiMoose said:


> That was the clean version. There’s another one with lots of slapping and banging mentioned.


Do share! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with soap frosting on top?


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## AliOop (Nov 21, 2021)

... I say, DOCTOR! What else can I make? I say, DOCTOR! I need to wash my hands and face... 



Mobjack Bay said:


> If someone is working on a budget for the show, don’t forget to include the funding that will be needed to pay dozens of judges to adequately and fairly evaluate the soap qualities.


Said judges, of course, must be taken from the ranks of professionals here on SMF.


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## KiwiMoose (Nov 21, 2021)

AliOop said:


> ... I say, DOCTOR! What else can I make? I say, DOCTOR! I need to wash my hands and face...


Pleaser record this song and post to this thread


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## AliOop (Nov 21, 2021)

KiwiMoose said:


> Pleaser record this song and post to this thread


Oh no, that is just the next line to your song - I totally defer to you, and your singing abilities, which far exceed mine!


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## Zing (Nov 21, 2021)

Zany_in_CO said:


> "The Real Soap Opera", brought to you by Saponification Nation, a Motley Crew of International Lyers.


LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!  Lyers - LOL!!



KiwiMoose said:


> That was the clean version. There’s another one with lots of slapping and banging mentioned.


Hello, @Dawni , are ya following this??!!

And why did I not think of this earlier?  I'm nominating @Jersey Girl 's JerseyBoy as narrator!  Duh!

I just caught up Mrs. Zing with the theme song and latest posts.  Mrs. Zing: "Oh my gosh, you all need help."


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## Ugeauxgirl (Nov 21, 2021)

@ResolvableOwl  either needs to be one of the judges, or the narrator whispering to the camera the science behind what the contestant just did wrong and the DISASTER about to happen...


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## Zing (Nov 21, 2021)

Ugeauxgirl said:


> @ResolvableOwl  either needs to be one of the judges, or the narrator whispering to the camera the science behind what the contestant just did wrong and the DISASTER about to happen and the science behind it....


and Lord forbid anybody say something toxicologically incorrect around Owl!


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## CreativeWeirdo (Nov 21, 2021)

I'd say @ResolvableOwl and I should be co-hosts.  We could be the Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler, respectively, because the owl knows WAY more than I do about soap, and I'm a-dork-able!  Or the Noel Fielding and Matt Lucas.  We could have all the fun, but don't have the stress of deciding who goes home.


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## Peachy Clean Soap (Nov 21, 2021)

Zany_in_CO said:


> View attachment 62676
> <<< Click on it.


Oh i'm laughing out loud' so funny. bawhaha 



Johnez said:


> I'm imagining conversations like this for "West Coast Soapers":
> 
> -You put dirt in shave soap?!
> 
> ...



Bawhaha so funny 



KiwiMoose said:


> View attachment 62722


Oh I love It!!! Laughing so hard .


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 22, 2021)

Ugeauxgirl said:


> @ResolvableOwl  either needs to be one of the judges, or the narrator whispering to the camera the science behind what the contestant just did wrong and the DISASTER about to happen...


_“Ohhh! That looks like a % or two too much of the soy wax. Ain't do well in the FA profile. And just look at that overcautious temperature! Will that end in a false trace catastrophe, or will the loaf just break a few strings of the bar cutter? We'll see in a minute, but first we'll switch over to XYZ, who is ready to fall for the DOS spell with a well-meant recipe full of expensive rookie mistakes…”_

What about a “Behind the Scenes” ASMR spin-off, where people can watch us wash off all the dishes for hours? Real-time, without script, without background music. We shouldn't leave the impression that soapmaking were any fun.



Zing said:


> I just caught up Mrs. Zing with the theme song and latest posts. Mrs. Zing: "Oh my gosh, you all need help."


This is a GREAT move of hers. You are really blessed with her . She can come and support us with cleaning up afterwards.


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## Dawni (Nov 22, 2021)

@Zing I only saw it now lol and I'm laughing out loud over here

And my brain is scrambling to make a script/lyrics incorporating the slapping n banging lol


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## lianasouza (Nov 22, 2021)

I think all the soapers must live in the same house during cure time


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## Cat&Oak (Nov 22, 2021)

lianasouza said:


> I think all the soapers must live in the same house during cure time


Yes! The added drama and tears!


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## AliOop (Nov 22, 2021)

Cat&Oak said:


> Yes! The added drama and tears!


I was thinking the same! They live in the same house, AND have to use each other's soaps. I'm picturing the group huddled in the living room, some of them wiping away tears, as they criticize each other's efforts:

Contestant 1: "You are so selfish! You KNOW that my skin can't tolerate that much coconut oil! But all you cared about was winning the Best Lather category. You never think of others, do you?"

Contestant 2: "Well, at least MY soap HAS lather. You and your high-lard, so-called lotion-y-lather bars. Who wants to spread pig fat on their skin? Not me!"


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 22, 2021)

Only in season 1, neem will be still forbidden.


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## TheGecko (Nov 22, 2021)

12 Contestants from around the world.  Set in the US due do availability of ingredients.
3 Judge Panel (must have been making soap for at least 10 years, cannot be a soap supplier [conflict of interest]).
1 Host

Instead of a 'tent' or 'forge', we have a 'studio' with standard soaping equipment.

There would be three challenges similar to the Bake Off:
1) Signature - This would be a 'stock' soap
2) Technical - This would be a 'technique' or 'design' picked by the Judges.
3) Show Stopper -This would be a really fancy soap...something along the line of "I Dream in Soap" and "From Grace to You".

The Signature Soap would be a recreation.  The soap maker would have to submit six bars of cured soap to the Judges and then make the same soap during the competition.  The soap would be judged on the quality of the soap.

The Technical Soap would be based on how the cut soap meets or exceeds the technique or design.

The Show Stopper is based strictly on looks.

Each 'season' would last approximately 10 weeks.  A soap maker eliminated each week down to the "final four" and then the winner.

Each week...a different kind of soap can be made...Cold Process, Hot Process, Cold Process/Hot Process, Melt & Pour.

Contestants will be allowed to request certain suppliers for their scents and colorants, but the names of the companies will be hidden (conflict of interest).

Everyone will use the same Loaf or Slab Mold. Must present six bars to the judges.

SIDE NOTE: Kennie from Royal Apple Berry is a contestant of Meet Your Makers Showdown. It airs on November 27th on Discovery +


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## Kiti Williams (Nov 22, 2021)

[/QUOTE]But no Gordon Ramsey types or we'd have to hold him/her down and wash their mouth out with the challenge.
[/QUOTE]

I LOVE this idea!


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## CreativeWeirdo (Nov 22, 2021)

TheGecko said:


> 1 Host



TWO hosts!


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## KiwiMoose (Nov 22, 2021)

AliOop said:


> Oh no, that is just the next line to your song - I totally defer to you, and your singing abilities, which far exceed mine!


Chicken!



lianasouza said:


> I think all the soapers must live in the same house during cure time


Then we could play red light green light while waiting and some of us will be eliminated!


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## justjacqui (Nov 22, 2021)

To stir up some drama you need an intruder that comes in half way through the season. The intruder has only been making soap for one month and has already been selling it at the farmer's market.


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## AliOop (Nov 22, 2021)

justjacqui said:


> To stir up some drama you need an intruder that comes in half way through the season. The intruder has only been making soap for one month and has already been selling it at the farmer's market.


Yes, and it is HP that has not been cured, and it is decorated with some lavender turds buds on top. 



ResolvableOwl said:


> Only in season 1, neem will be still forbidden.


We won't get @Ford to play unless we promise that there will be no neem.


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## Mobjack Bay (Nov 22, 2021)

I think we’ll need a helpful tip segment inspired by _Thread titles and my very strange mind_

Will plop and glop = flop?
How to keep soap hairless
Protecting soap while on vacation
The importance of a sniffy spot
Oh no! The zaps! 
Yes, Virginia, you can make a 50% EDTA solution
Selling soaps in the sun
Salt soap on a stick
How to protect feet from lye accidents
Fats/oils that compliment or hate each other
Weird questions about soaping and tongues
Fiberglass Insulation Soap
Sleeping with soap
Soaping with yeast
Embeds all furry?


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## Peachy Clean Soap (Nov 22, 2021)

I'm LMAO' Confirming We Soapers Are One Of A Kind! I'm In .   Lights Action Camera


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## Johnez (Nov 23, 2021)

justjacqui said:


> To stir up some drama you need an intruder that comes in half way through the season. The intruder has only been making soap for one month and has already been selling it at the farmer's market.



I'm imagining the intruder as the inimitable Kenny Powers:


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## Whillow (Nov 23, 2021)

Zany_in_CO said:


> View attachment 62676
> <<< Click on it.


This has me howling at my desk in my office....hahhahahahaahahaha


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## Nyknits (Nov 23, 2021)

Becky1024 said:


> I just saw a trailer for “Meet Your Maker” with Chrissy Metz and Leann Rimes. An episode is on artesian soap making. Their definition of “artesian” is melt ‘n pour. Uh no, not interested.


What? I wonder why? The makers shown are cp soapers.


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## TheGecko (Nov 23, 2021)

Becky1024 said:


> I just saw a trailer for “Meet Your Maker” with Chrissy Metz and Leann Rimes. An episode is on artesian soap making. Their definition of “artesian” is melt ‘n pour. Uh no, not interested.



I'm not sure whether this comment is more bigoted or elitist, or just plain ignorant and rude.  That would be like someone saying...you're not a REAL artist because you're using acrylic instead of oil.  Soap is soap...it does NOT matter if it is Cold Process, Hot Process, CPHP, Rebatch or Melt & Pour.  There is a certain amount of artistry and talent that is required for each of them, not to mention a heck of a lot of skill.  I have seen M&P soap that are absolute works of art.  I've tried M&P myself...let's just say that it did not go well.  

And it's television...where every problem in the world is solved in 42 minutes and as such, M&P is a perfect medium for that format.  It's already soap...it goes from a solid to a liquid back to a solid in just minutes instead of hours or days.  And no need to have the additional expense of having a HazMat team on the set because you're handling Sodium Hydroxide.


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## Zany_in_CO (Nov 23, 2021)

@TheGecko  Amen, Sistah!


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## AliOop (Nov 25, 2021)

Wait, I totally forgot! One of the judges must introduce a mystery ingredient that must be incorporated into the soap!

@ResolvableOwl gets to pick first, so we can get dairy butter out of the way.


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## ResolvableOwl (Nov 25, 2021)

Yesss!!! It'll harass everyone's curing rack from day 1 on!  (Or not, who knows?)


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## glendam (Nov 27, 2021)

Becky1024 said:


> I just saw a trailer for “Meet Your Maker” with Chrissy Metz and Leann Rimes. An episode is on artesian soap making. Their definition of “artesian” is melt ‘n pour. Uh no, not interested.


I saw Ann Marie from Brambleberry participated as well.


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