# OK....I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



## Guest (Feb 5, 2009)

OK....I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x 

I believe in charitable causes as much as the next person, and I give a generous portion of my profits to three groups in particular that I both volunteer for or whose causes I champion.

BUT, I am really, really, really tired of nonprofit groups that come to me whining that they're poor, and seeking donation of products for some event they are having and telling me it means promotion of my products...and when I ask only that we do a reciprocal link on our respective Web sits, this is what typically happens.

Something "goes wrong" with the link....and for whatever reason, they just can't fix it.  Yeah..right. The latest offender said their Web person was in India.

Or at that last minute...they want more products because they have more people coming than expected....or what I am giving them isn't  "enough"''can I bolster the bags with an additional product or two (I usually do a 4 oz. body butter and a 4.5 oz. soap bar in a vinyl drawstring bag, with marketing materials..)

This has happened three times now. I've decided this. My Web site space is just as valuable as theirs....and if the link goes down...they get a bill for advertising on my site. Or they have a choice to pay for the products. And no...I can't add anything else unless they pay for them.

No more product donations unless I write a check. Period.

Give a mouse a cookie and they want a frigging vat of milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## starduster (Feb 7, 2009)

*Commiserations*

Dear Soap mommie,
Give a mouse a cookie and they want a frigging vat of milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quoting from you .That is hilarious.
     
Yes it happens.
Some people are collecting for their own 'what ever' reasons and loose sight of the fact that you are a human being too.
Way back I had someone pull a very uncharitable collecting demand on me, trying every guilt and manipulation trick in the book.
At the most inappropriate time.
I was upset for a little while and worked out how I would handle such a situation in the future.
I pre-select whom I wish to donate too and how much. Now the moment someone asks me in person or on the phone I ust say something like I have already donated to the causes  I can. Thankyou very much. That's it no further discussion will I enter into. 
I hope that is a help to you.
Mary


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## digit (Feb 7, 2009)

Bummer Soapmommie!! I would definitely write them off the list. Seems they are takers and not giving anything back. Reciprocity can help so much and I do not see a reason why they would not want to do this small thing for you. Maybe they do not value the time and talent it takes to make soap.
Now......if you want to donate a lovely gift basket to Digit............



Digit


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## starduster (Feb 7, 2009)

*digit*

Bummer Soapmommie!! I would definitely write them off the list. Seems they are takers and not giving anything back. Reciprocity can help so much and I do not see a reason why they would not want to do this small thing for you. Maybe they do not value the time and talent it takes to make soap.Quote.

DIGIT !     
That cute kitty cat I want one ,just like her ,curling around my ankles ,purring like a catipillar bull dozer, looking at me with those big eyes that say mummy, you are my whole world. But my little dog Jellybean would eat her so for get it.
and as for the suggestion that a basket shold be donated your way, you are charitable cause ............ :?:  ,Sistet Digit is it, Top dame at the local nunnery for distillation of fine wines and champagnes for the poor perchance. A fine and honourable career that would be and the odd bottle that would make it out the door.


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## Tabitha (Feb 7, 2009)

I respond "I am sorry, I have met my contributions for the year" or "I have already given to my charities of choice."


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## Lindy (Feb 8, 2009)

You could tell them they just used up their portion of your Charity Budget.....


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## jenn624 (Feb 8, 2009)

I can relate. Don't let people take advantage! A charity donation should be something you, personally, feel moved to do before you do it. Don't let anyone pressure you into it, and certainly don't let them get away with making demands of you that you aren't comfortable with!


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## Elle (Feb 15, 2009)

Tabitha said:
			
		

> I respond "I am sorry, I have met my contributions for the year" or "I have already given to my charities of choice."



This response is much better than mine....I usually just delete the email!   

I agree don't let them take advantage of you and tell you how/where/when to donate. Its your biz. 

L


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## dagmar88 (Feb 15, 2009)

I live in an appartment complex on the highest (5th) floor wit only one neigbour and I'm gettting totally nuts cause all of the vendors/charities/people who want to convert me!
They aren't even allowed to walk around in the complex, but nevertheless they seem to find ways to come in & all want something from you.
I used to be nice, but since I have an illness & I'm home all day and need to rest a lot they really got on my nerves.
now I:
1)tell them there not allowed to enter the complex when they ring downstairs to be let in. They'll come in anyway but surely skip my place.
2)pretend to be deaf/stupid/can't read or write and deffinatly not able to understand anything they say
3)Tell them my husband doesn't allow me to have money   & make a very sad face. And of course he's never at home between 5.30 & 23.00
4) slip into my nightgown, mess up my hair & pretend I'm anti-social (that's the best one) I tell them where to stick their charity, energy provider, god or whatever and say I'm gonna send my dog after them (I don't have a dog) if I see them in the complex once more.

I'm really a nice person normally   
Took about half a year, and now they all know not to ring hahaha


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## topcat (Feb 15, 2009)

I have been reading everyone's comments and it seems this is a problem the world over.  Starduster nailed it with the comment ''Some people are collecting for their own 'what ever' reasons and loose sight of the fact that you are a human being too. ''

If you feel guilty saying ''no''.....and we all do at times....take a moment to think on all the good things you do in your life.  You may be a caring friend, loving daughter/wife/mother (insert male roles here if you are a boy :wink: ), keep house, work a job, craft your soap etc for fun and/or profit - you are a valued member of your community contributing directly or indirectly every day.  *No one *has the right to make you feel guilty if you choose not to donate something every time someone asks.  A simple ''not today'' is all you need to say.

{gets off soapbox now...}  

Tanya


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## dagmar88 (Feb 16, 2009)

> A simple ''not today'' is all you need to say.


  wish it was that easy over here, not today means I can come bach tomorrow, or the day after or next week  
I seriously had at least 3 people at my door every single day & 5 ringing...


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