# What happened to common courtesy?



## Chay (May 3, 2011)

When I am sitting in an expensive dimly lit restaurant with my husband I should not have to spend the next hour and a half trying to hear him over your screaming kids. Just saying...


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## Fullamoon (May 3, 2011)

That really stinks. The older I get, the less I tolerate. I would have asked the waiter to sit us elsewhere. Why should you suffer through?


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## Traceyann (May 3, 2011)

Sorry , but I would get up and leave !!!! Did that on Saturday night just gone....If I dont get the service that I like then they dont get my money ..... Sorry if thats harsh and I have a child too , but some parents just dont care and I dont have to tolerate it either .....


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## Catmehndi (May 4, 2011)

another one of my favorite ones is sitting at the doctor's office where there are signs (everywhere!) to inform us that cell phones are not permitted, yet, there are always people who think rules are for everyone but them (and they're usually loud too)....lovely!


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## agriffin (May 4, 2011)

Catmehndi said:
			
		

> another one of my favorite ones is sitting at the doctor's office where there are signs (everywhere!) to inform us that cell phones are not permitted, yet, there are always people who think rules are for everyone but them (and they're usually loud too)....lovely!



THIS!  Irritates the FIRE out of me!  lol

And the people that work there don't even tell people to get off their phones!


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## carebear (May 4, 2011)

I sit quietly and obediently for 15 minutes past my appointment time.  If I'm kept waiting longer than that, all bets are off - I'm a busy woman and don't have time to just sit around.  

Sorry folks, but my life doesn't wait for a rude doctor who doesn't know how to manage her schedule.


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## Genny (May 5, 2011)

carebear said:
			
		

> I sit quietly and obediently for 15 minutes past my appointment time.  If I'm kept waiting longer than that, all bets are off - I'm a busy woman and don't have time to just sit around.
> 
> Sorry folks, but my life doesn't wait for a rude doctor who doesn't know how to manage her schedule.



I always find it amazing that people think they have to wait.  I used to go to a doctor that I'd end up having to wait sometimes an hour for.  I got sick of it and let them know I was switching and why.  It's a business just like any other business.
The place I switched to has been great with being on time.  The longest I've had to wait with them was about 15 minutes.  The doctor apologized, plus after 10 minutes had the nurse come out and tell me it would be a few more minutes.


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## Dragonkaz (May 6, 2011)

Everywhere I've lived in New Zealand, Fiji and  Australia, the doctors also work in hospitals and with ambulance crews.  This means that they can be called away at short notice to help people who need emergency treatment.  I think the job they do is amazing and I know that when my husband was dying, it was fantastic to know our doctor was able to be there for him when he was needed ... and there were a few times that he was.

As a result, the doctor who gets called away cannot see his patients and they will either be referred to the on call doctor or have their appointments delayed.  The best approach to this is one of caring and support for everyone.  We are encouraged to phone ahead and check if our doctors appointments are on time ... and this gives the admin staff a chance to let you now what the best time for you to report is.  When possible the admin staff will phone patients to let them know that their doctor has been called away and give them the options that are available.

This does mean delays and it may upset some people, but with not enough resources available in this sector, this is the reality.


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## TJ (May 11, 2011)

I couldn't count how many times I've had a nice dinner ruined because someone's kids at the table behind us are screaming their heads off. I don't have the guts to complain or get up and leave though... I just sit through it angry the whole time that I can't have a quiet dinner and conversation with my indoor voice. If I want to talk I'll have to rather loudly or lean over the table to hear and get heard.
Is it just me??? I would shut my kids up immediately, or take them to the bathroom or outside to have a talk. It seems no one does anything to try to quiet their kids.

And about the doctor offices, I've had a doctor that I litterally waited about an hour and a half for out in the lobby, then when I got called back I had to wait another hour and a half. I'm not joking. And I had to be scheduled for emergency surgery, but apparently to them I wasn't much of an emergency??? I went to that doctor one other time and it is the last time I hopefully will ever have to go to that doctor. Both times, I had to wait equally as long. And the waiting room is PACKED. They just want as much money as they can schedule for the day.


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## Kat2011 (May 18, 2011)

_(For legal purposes, admin has removed this post containing dangerous, incorrect medical advice. Please refain from giving medical advice if you are not a doctor. Thank you, Admin.)_


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## Sunny (May 18, 2011)

...the way i interpret those signs is, no one else wants to hear your loud phone conversation when we're all trapped in this small waiting room together, so stay off your phone.

i could be totally off on this!


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## JenniferSews (May 18, 2011)

> When I am sitting in an expensive dimly lit restaurant with my husband I should not have to spend the next hour and a half trying to hear him over your screaming kids. Just saying...



Yeah!  Us people with small children should just stay at home where we belong.


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## Traceyann (May 19, 2011)

No Jen, most of us have kids and have been there , but some people take no responsibility what so ever with their kids.....I have no probs with kids being kids but when they start to scream and carry on , then its time the parents do something about it ......


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## Dragonkaz (May 19, 2011)

I agree with you tasha!

We used our  mobiles in several wards at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Adelaide.  Intensive care was the only ward where mobiles were not allowed.

When I asked about the 'no mobile' rule, I was told it's to discourage people using mobiles in rooms that are shared by two or four people and causing distress to them, and that they won't affect the equipment.


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## Chay (May 19, 2011)

JenniferSews said:
			
		

> Chay said:
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No one said people with small children should stay home, there is no need for sarcasm. I was merely frustrated that so many parents do not teach their children what is and isn't appropriate behavior.


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## carebear (May 19, 2011)

Chay, I'm curious if you've raised kids.


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## Kat2011 (May 19, 2011)

ANYONE - no matter their age - should stay home if they can't behave appropriately in public!

This includes screaming children, loud drunk guys, cackling hens at after work bars - cranky oldsters who can't chill out and have some fun...

 If you are in this category - sadly...lol...you probably don't know/admit it!!!


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## Catmehndi (May 19, 2011)

I think it's pretty safe to say that common courtesy has gone the way of "self centeredness".... so sad...


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## PrairieCraft (May 19, 2011)

Many people these days seem to think that whatever their kids do is ok.  We got into it with neighbors after my husband asked some of the kids to pick up the juice boxes they had been throwing on the ground on our property line.  (he likes kids and asked in a very nice way, as in, lets make a game out of this, he did not yell at them or tell them to do anything) the parents later came over screaming at us and told us that their kids can throw garbage wherever they want!!! :shock:   Totally different situation from the restaurant but its all the same.  Parents aren't like they used to be (in general).  My parents would have never backed me up on something like that, my little butt would have been sent out to pick up every piece of garbage in the neighborhood.  I also spent many nights out at the restaurant waiting in the car because I was being a brat and was taken out of the store for throwing a tantrum.  I see parents out all the time with screaming kids and they just completely ignore it.  I'm sure they're used to it, but what happened to taking a misbehaving kid out of public?  Probably just upset all of the mothers here and no I don't have kids and seeing all of these misbehavers and knowing I would have to deal with their parents has really been discouraging to me.  Of course kids will be kids but the do whatever you want with no consequences attitude isn't doing the kid, the parent or society any favors.  The most well behaved, polite kids I've ever met are a group of home schooled kids whose parents are clients of mine.  So, it can be done it just takes an enormous amount of work and it seems that most people would rather just let them do whatever.   Self centered is right and the first generation that was raised this way is already out there in the work force and I hear employers complaining about them all the time.


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## Chay (May 19, 2011)

carebear said:
			
		

> Chay, I'm curious if you've raised kids.


I have 2 boys. My oldest son is shipping out for the Navy soon. He scored really high on his ASVAB test, high enough to qualify for SEAL training. While I am so very proud of him I am also terrified for him. I see many sleepless nights in my future. My little guy (I should say youngest since he is taller then me) will be starting high school this fall. He is very interested in all the products I make, he wants to help make them and loves using them. For the most part he gets in the way when I'm trying to work but I love that he shares my interest so we do some soap projects together.   
When we go out, the question is no longer will they behave but whether or not I can afford to feed two teenage boys. lol
How about you Carebear, do you have kids?


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## Tabitha (May 19, 2011)

Cell phones can indeed interfere with electronic equipment. They interfere with the sound system and the body microphones at the community theater where I am stage manager. Messing up a microphone is one thing. Messing up a life saving device is quite another.


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## Chay (May 19, 2011)

Wow Tab, you are seriously multi-talented, and very very busy.


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## Deda (May 19, 2011)

Chay said:
			
		

> Wow Tab, you are seriously multi-talented, and very very busy.



She sure is.  Her vast knowledge, education and expertise is astounding.  The lady knows of what she speaks.


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## carebear (May 20, 2011)

Yes, I have children.


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## JenniferSews (May 20, 2011)

Why is light hearted humor always lost on this forum?


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## kelleyaynn (May 21, 2011)

JenniferSews said:
			
		

> Why is light hearted humor always lost on this forum?



Humor can be very difficult to pull off in emails, posts, etc., because the reader can't "here" the voice or intonation the writer uses in his or her head when writing, so it's easy to misinterpret how it was actually meant.   I, too, thought you intended to be sarcastic.  When I want to make sure people know I'm not being serious, I'll put a "LOL" at the end of what I write, hoping that will make it clear.


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## Sunny (May 21, 2011)

We went out to a restaurant on our last anniversary. There was a child jumping up and down in the booth that the waiter was trying to seat us in. The waiter asked the child if he could hop down, the kid ignored him and continued to jump. No one knew who this kid belonged to, the waiter kept looking around the restaurant, trying to spot the parents. After a couple minutes of standing there, the kid got down and ran away. 

He then spent the next 30 minutes running around in between the tables of the whole restaurant, and under the tables, and under MY table. Everyone was staring. Finally, his mother collected him and left. She was sitting a couple of tables away from us and never said a word to him - she could see him the entire time and ignored him.

Mind you this was not a McDonald's or something, but a nice restaurant.
So that was fun.


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## PrairieCraft (May 21, 2011)

She was probably happy to have him away from her own table for a while.  Hope it gave you something to laugh about and didn't totally ruin your dinner.  Aren't you glad he wasn't coming home with you.    That's what I always think as I'm covering my ears to block out the shrieking in the grocery stores, that this is only for a few minutes and that poor woman has to live with it!  Happy Anniversary!


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## JenniferSews (May 21, 2011)

kelleyaynn said:
			
		

> JenniferSews said:
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There was a   at the end.  I'm fine with people complaining.  I have a good sense of humor and laugh a lot.  Obviously I laugh at myself since I have 3 very young children and have eaten out and flown (gasp!!)  People say awful things right to your face when you do either, but it flows off our backs like water.  Give us a chance and you will find us and our children happy and fun.  I'm sorry the OP had a bad night because of someone elses children, and to all those who had bad nights.  I wasn't trying to start anything.  I never am, athough it frequently seems like I am here for some reason.


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## Tabitha (May 21, 2011)

I think some people are afraid to disipline their children. All you have to do is suggest you are going to spank your child & people start threatening to call CPS.


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## agriffin (May 21, 2011)

Tabitha said:
			
		

> I think some people are afraid to disipline their children. All you have to do is suggest you are going to spank your child & people start threatening to call CPS.



I agree.  I wonder how much that effects the way people raise their kids now.  Especially in homes with divorced parents.  All they need is a little fuel to throw on the fire.


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## khermsen (May 25, 2011)

More then once, I have complimented parents/grandparents in a restaurant for their well mannered children.  The adults seem pleased to have their children/grandchildren acknowledged, and the children take it all in.....


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## Marianne1 (May 27, 2011)

There are many forms of effective  discipline ,but spanking really????? I cannot imagine ,who cares about CPS or like agencies,would not the pain and fear in a child's eyes be deterrent enough?


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## Tabitha (May 27, 2011)

Marianne1 said:
			
		

> There are many forms of effective  discipline ,but spanking really????? I cannot imagine ,who cares about CPS or like agencies,would not the pain and fear in a child's eyes be deterrent enough?



No one was promoting spanking. Please do not make a harmless  observation statement into something it is not.


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## Traceyann (May 28, 2011)

I will be the first to admit , I have smacked my son as I was smacked as a child, it didnt hurt me , and it sure didnt hurt Andrew either ...other than a bruised ego....now having said that I have never belted or left bruises.....BUT through trial and error I have found that removing privliges for bad behavior and rewarding good, I actually get a better response from him.....I am a single mum and my EX and I discuss anything to do with Andrew and how we are going to manage the issue....I know I am in the minority and am very lucky to be able to communicate with my EX well.....

What I am trying to say is if the children are running amock when out , then u can bet your last dollar they are not disiplined at home either .....or the parents just plain dont care .....

If we are out and I have to say to Andrew "we will be dealing with this when we get home " then he is crapping in his pants as he knows hes about to loose his internet or phone or TV ......so in my case this type of disipline works


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## IanT (May 28, 2011)

Im all for disciplining kids, I dont have any yet but rest assured Im going to make sure they know how to behave. I dont think kids should be beat or anything like that. but you have to put the fear of disobeying into them while their young or theyll get out of hand and think they could do anything in the future. Its all a balancing act I guess; Im a psych major so I have seen a lot of developmental stuff etc... If someone threatened to call CPS on me for wackin my kid (lightly) on the arse in public.. Id hand them my phone and even dial the number for them... Kids need to learn virtues, values and morals at an early age, but it is a challenge regardless because all kids are different...

One thing I have seen though that REALLY drives me nuts is people who do this:

[ame=http://youtu.be/PtMRddAIHx0]Kid on a leash video[/ame]

I mean really!?!??! a kid on a leash!!?!?! cant you pay enough attention to your kid to not have to do that LOL

Ive seen a katt williams skit making fun of that and Id have to say Id rather be dead before i strapped my kid into one of these... lol


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## carebear (May 28, 2011)

Wait, Ian.  Just wait.  Please be sure to return here when your youngest is about 3. We'd all love to hear about how all the decisions you made BEFORE you had kids workednout. . Srsly, no one plans on having "bad" kids. And even good kids go through difficult staged.  fear... Well now that's a tough one. I myself believe in consequences, but not fear. Oh, and my kids are well behaved and respectful, for the most part. 

I leashed my daughter when she was a wild young thing. Tho I never dragged her thru the store I was tempted.


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## Traceyann (May 28, 2011)

I never leashed my son ....( not having a go at u carebear ) but I did hide in the shops once when he wouldnt follow.....and once he realised ....HOLY CRAP MUMS GONE ...( the fear or consequence what every u wanna call it ) he has never wandered or objected to following me again.....even to this day hes's 15 now , same goes for the car.....he wouldnt get in one day so I shut the door and Drove off slowly ( about 50 metres ) and he came screaming ...DONT LEAVE ME ..... lol....again he now gets in the car without complaint ......


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## Chay (May 29, 2011)

Child harnesses can be very useful, I used to use one on my oldest son when we went someplace like the county fair that is packed with people and he was at that age when he was too big to carry around for long but young enough to wander off when something shiny caught his eye. My sister uses them on her twins during crowded events too.


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## IanT (May 30, 2011)

lol yeah i think I d feel like i was walking a dog or something though...eeek!


We shall see what happens when I have kids... I know Im going to be up for a crazy time with the mix of my personality and my girls personality all in one lil bundle of joy lol..

good stuff!


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## Relle (May 30, 2011)

I need one of those harnesses when dh and I go out, he always disappears  :wink: ,he must go and look at all that shiny stuff   . I might be able to use Ellie the rabbits harness  :shock: .


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## Dragonkaz (May 30, 2011)

*Relle *... I'm wishing there was a *Like *button, as Im loving your post!

Kids are individual ... encourage it, along with respect, but don't forget that most children are like 'sponges' ... they will absorb everything you say and do, so don't take their desire to be a child away!

My adult children (27 and 29) cause more issues than they ever did when they were little ... **** ... where did I go wrong!  _Plus I reckon I cause them more distress/embarrassment/concern than they'll ever caused me ... double **** ... but ghee it's fun!!!  I love misbehaving in public ... I love to wear all purple and to mix it up with crocheted hats and gloves wth crocheted purple flowers sown to them, skin tight jeans, my hair is purple (the blue purple made by fudge ... called blueberry hill), the frames of my glasses are purple, my clothes are purple, my watch and most of my jewellery is purple ... I love my witch clothes and have some gorgeous t-shirts that proclaim my love of all things Pagan.  My kids find it interesting going places with me ... as I love talking to strangers and I love challenging other people's views.   My kids friends say I'm cool ... although I'm not quite sure what that means, but my kids just think of me as Mum ... which is my favourite person to be with them!_


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## Chay (May 30, 2011)

Dragonkaz said:
			
		

> I love misbehaving in public ... I love to wear all purple and to mix it up with crocheted hats and gloves wth crocheted purple flowers sown to them, skin tight jeans, my hair is purple (the blue purple made by fudge ... called blueberry hill), the frames of my glasses are purple, my clothes are purple, my watch and most of my jewellery is purple ... I love my witch clothes and have some gorgeous t-shirts that proclaim my love of all things Pagan.  My kids find it interesting going places with me ... as I love talking to strangers and I love challenging other people's views.   My kids friends say I'm cool ... although I'm not quite sure what that means, but my kids just think of me as Mum ... which is my favourite person to be with them![/i]


HAHAHA... I love it, you would be so much fun to hang out with! Reminds me of the Aunts on Practical Magic, they're my favorite characters in the movie. Would love to see some pics of your witch clothes.


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## Chay (May 30, 2011)

Relle9 said:
			
		

> I need one of those harnesses when dh and I go out, he always disappears  :wink: ,he must go and look at all that shiny stuff   . I might be able to use Ellie the rabbits harness  :shock: .


LOL Relle... you might be onto something here! You could market it as the "Hubby Harness"


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## ChrissyB (May 31, 2011)

LOL


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## Relle (May 31, 2011)

Kaz, I'm a purple person too, (note to self - stop buying everything purple  :shock: ).
I have a dark mauve towel,wear purple T shirts, socks etc to the gym. One day at the gym they said I wasn't matching with towel and T shirt colours etc. -my answer was - how do you know that I haven't got matching purple undies on - I did.  

Mmm, the hubby harness Chay, there's a marketing option. I love Practical Magic, such a cute little town and shop where they sell their wares. I wonder if they made soap.


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## Dragonkaz (May 31, 2011)

Relle ... you sound like my twin ... purple twins ... loving that idea!

My girlfriend in New Zealand and I swap all things purple ... makes it easy to always have gifts for each other. 

Being purple and a dragon ... makes it easy for my kids, as they never have problems making me happy with gifts!

Not long after moving to Oz, I co-owned a Pagan gift shop in western NSW 'Dragons, Faeries and other 'things' ... we used to stock home made soaps from a few local suppliers.  I think home made soap suits shops like this.

*Chay *there's nothing like the fun of being an adult and behaving like fun loving children when you're in public places!


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