# So upset and angry



## dagmar88 (Jul 13, 2009)

My husband is in a saving club in the local bar. Last friday he was invited to come over to a bbq there, organized by that club.
One of the other members, a man he only knows by name, brought his grandson, even though all the members of the club had agreed not to take children with them.
Some people even left because they didn't think having a kid around a bunch of beer drinking old  man was in any way appropriate.
Granpa wasn't watching to boy and the kid started to act up and was contstantly kicking an aquaintance of us in the legs. He asked the boy to stop doing that for a couple of times, but the kid didn't listen. So he thought he could playfully make clear he had to stop with the kicking. He hold him upside down and said 'I'll let you go if you stop kicking me'. Not in any way harmfull or being mean.  :roll: 
So the kid starts screaming, runs to his grandfather and starts raising hell about the aquintance 'tuching him'.
So grandpa who had clearly drunk to much gets angry and wants to beat the aquintance. My husband was sitting very nearby, talking to our mechanic, his lovely wife and son about what has to be done to our oldtimer mercedes, that is getting in pretty bad shape by now...
Because he clearly knows the aquaintance cause they often sit together in the bar and talk, my hub makes a sign to the grandpa that he didn't want anything to do with this fight, when the grandpa looks in his way.
The aquaintance didn't want to have part in any violence, so he runs away.
A second afterward, the grandfather turns around, yells 'you're a prick too' and hits my husband right on his lip.  :shock: 
My husband is kinda stunned, cause this man is normally very calm and the mechanic orders him not to react cause he didn't want the bbq to be spoiled for all the others.
So after a while my husband goes and gets drinks for everyone at the table. He offers the grandpa a beer to to show he didn't have a problem with the guy.
Some time later he is out of cigarettes and walks to machine to buy a new pack. On his way he rans into the grandpa, and asks him in a normal way 'what did just happen? Can you tell me why you hit me half an hour ago? I'm sure it was just a mistake, so I'd appreciate your apologies'. 
That moment the man start calling him names, and my husband, not wanting to spoil the bbq, turns around and walks away.
Then the grandpa walks right after him, picks up a heavy wooden barstool on his way and hits my husband with it in the head with full power. :evil: 
Of course he fell to the ground, and he ripped his knee ligaments further as they were already unstable.
So my husband comes home, I was still up (around 23.30) to wait for him. Blood was gushing out of his ear and his ear has cuts and was ripped right down to the cartilage. I was just totally shocked!
He didn't want to drive to the nightcare service at the hospital anymore, cause he had about 8 beers...
So the next morning, cause it was on the weekend, we went to the nightcare right away.
The doctor had to sew his ear back together for 45 minutes, (the ear was and still is very swolen and he was in huge pain the whole time) the doctor even had to be advised by a specialist in this area. Turned out my husband is now partially deaf, has a concussion, the ear was already very infected and he got antibiotics right away. The knee is really damaged, William can barely walk, and he needs to be operated within a year; and afterwards needs a year how to learn how to walk again.  :? 
We went to the police, and were told we'd have to wait about 18 months before this man is going to have to go to trial, and he will not be arrested in the main time...
I'm sorry for the long story, just had to share this. I can't get over how senseless this all is, and how damaged my honey's health and mood are.


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## Tabitha (Jul 13, 2009)

That is crazy! They can't arrest him for asault?


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## Deda (Jul 13, 2009)

Dag, I'm so sorry.  It sounds like a horrid situation. I hope DH's injuries heal quickly and completely.  Are you ok?  I would be a nervous wreck.  We're here for you.  
D


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2009)

I am so sorry this happened to your husband.  Follow thru with the law and sue this man!


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## dagmar88 (Jul 13, 2009)

Tabitha said:
			
		

> That is crazy! They can't arrest him for asault?



They can, but won't because of lack of staff at both the police station and the court...

Thank you so much Deda, we're both just very sad and frustrated and still kind of shocked   My husband will go to victims couseling and they also will guide him throughout the whole process of trial.

We will follow trough, as long as it takes. Luckily we have a very good lawyer we have known for years. The thing is , if he doesn't have a record, he probably won't have to do more then a couple of months of time for this, if at all, and have some forced counseling afterwards. Plus we found out he's on welfare; so even if we sue for damages and win, he'll have to pay us 20 to 50 bugs a month  :x 
I'm sorry to say this, but knowing he won't have to face much consequences for something that might be bothering my husband for the rest of his life just makes you want to take justice in your own hands  :?


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## SimplyE (Jul 14, 2009)

After all of this, was there any interaction after the fact about the guy who basically went after him?  Does he have anything to say about himself or is he just as much an a-hole now as when he was sh!tfaced?  

That sucks!  The whole situation just sucks.  Sorry to hear about it.


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## dagmar88 (Jul 14, 2009)

Well, we hardly know the guy; if he had his phone number or anything we would have contacted him to inform him we went to the police. My guess is he will deny everything... Or state my husband was being agrassive first. He has a whole trailercamp to back him up on everything he says anyway.  :? 
Today we have an appointment with our lawyer and see what will happen from there.


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## Guest (Jul 15, 2009)

Dgamar I am sorry this happened to your hubby .Surely there are witnesses at the BBQ ? I hope he is okay , that is so bizarre.

kitn


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## soapbuddy (Jul 15, 2009)

That's just awful! I hope you'll get this man to court. Glad to hear you have a good lawyer.


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## ChrissyB (Jul 15, 2009)

Dagmar, thinking of you and your DH. this is just crazy.
What sort of example was he setting for his grandson?
Follow through with this, even if it takes years, don't let him get away with this. Over here we have something called victim's compensation, do you have that? If your husband has lost hearing and it's going to take him some time to heal completely, you are entitled to some sort of monetory figure, if only for the loss of work, and medical fees.
I know it will take a long time, but they could seize this guys assets and sell them off at public auction to make sure your DH gets some kind of compo.


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## dagmar88 (Jul 15, 2009)

Well, we went to our lawyer yesterday and according to him there's a fairly big change gramps is going to pay us for the rest of his life... So I wish him a veeery long one  :wink: 
By the time I know anything, I'll let you know (could be a couple of months or longer) and thank you all for being so sweet an compassionate!


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2009)

That is good Dagmar , your hubby might never be the same for the rest of his life , his hearing etc , he deserves compensation .Wishing him a speedy recovery.

Kitn


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## dagmar88 (Jul 16, 2009)

Thank you! The ear is healing quite well on the outside now   
Wanted to say DH has seen his attacker today, and the man did't even look at him  :? Either he's very afrais for being sued, or he couldn't care less...


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## ChrissyB (Jul 16, 2009)

That's disgusting. You would think that he would "man up" and do the decent thing and apologise. Try to offer some feeble explanation for his actions or something? 
Oh well, I hope he lives a long long time too, so he can keep on paying you guys. I would think though, if there is still some balance left that he owes you, the courts could seize his estate in the event of his death.


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## dagmar88 (Jul 17, 2009)

Well, he is in his 50's, hope he'll gets to 90 at least  :wink: 
And yes, it is disgusting, and DH has a very hard time not pulling gramps ear untill it comes off too. The laywer has strictly ordered him not to, luckily...
All I can think off, is if I'm able to get my future soap shop financed (cause my sweet hubby thinks that's his first priority), my hub can finally start the little restaurant he always dreamt of. Allways easier to go to the bank with a couple of dollars in your pocket.
The reason why gramps should be paying a lot, is that my husband, who is now in between jobs, still had a very good future in sales ahead of him. But now with not being able to hear/walk well, that's over.


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## rupertspal42 (Jul 17, 2009)

holy cow I hope your hubby is ok!!!! I can't believe that!  :?


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## rubato456 (Jul 18, 2009)

wow! i'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. i hope y'all will get some justices with this


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## carillon (Jul 30, 2009)

Wow!  I'm late in seeing  your post, but what drama!

It's interesting to see how things are handled by the police elsewhere.  It's also scary to think that cops are too busy or short staffed to handle violent sitations like that.

I'm not trying to diminish the problems your husband is suffering, but the safety of the poor grandkid should also be a concern.  An old man taking ta kid to a bar could result in the bar owner being fined or lose his license to sell booze for allowing a minor in.  If the grandpa could be so drunk and violent with your husband, what kind of care do you think he could provide for the grandson?  I bet the kid is in danger too.  Grandpa should also be report to the child welfare authorities if kids in bars are not allowed where you are.

In addition to grandpa being responsible, you should look to the bar owner too.  They were negligent in allowing a kid to be there after they said no kids were allowed.   You've got a lawyer, so I'm sure he'll know what to do and what parties to pursue, because your husband is definitely a victim here and should be compensated.


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