# Partnering - what do you think?



## AshleyR (Aug 25, 2009)

Deleted, thanks everyone!


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## topcat (Aug 25, 2009)

Ashley, it sounds to me like you have answered your own question.  You may not be ready to get bigger just yet?  If that is so, why not thank her profusely and explain that this is a personal journey for you just now...although down the track when you are ready to take that next step and if her offer is still open, you would love her to be the one you expand with?

Tanya  

BTW - just my own personal experience....partnering with family members can be fraught with difficulties....may even cause long term bitterness if not handled with kid gloves  :wink:


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## AshleyR (Aug 25, 2009)

Thanks Tanya. Honestly, that's kind of how I feel (like I may prefer to keep it to myself for now), but she is very very excited about the possibility of being able to help me and I am kind of worried about hurting her feelings. 

I also know what it's like to work with family as my husband has been working for my parents for 3 years and doesn't exactly enjoy it. It has put us in an awkward position with them.

I dunno. Part of me is excited about the possibilites of working with her, and part of me is scared about it. I think mainly because I have put so much into my business already that I'm worried about the risk of letting someone else have control. Hmmmm.....


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## Healinya (Aug 25, 2009)

I have had a few people offer me something similar in the last two years - I'm not an experienced soaper to do that. I thank them and tell them "I'm not there yet." I think it would be years before I could be proficient enough in the craft/business to open a storefront. But I definately have it in the back of my mind for another time.

If it sounds fun for you, then start looking into it - she has been thinking about it for weeks/months, so you should take your time thinking it over. You'll know when it'll be worth it.


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## JenniferSews (Aug 25, 2009)

I'd sit down and think for a long time about where you want your business to go.  DH & I used to work for my BIL and it did end badly.  Thankfully BIL and DH are both able to make business and family seperate and we still all get along very well.  But from what I've seen that is rare.  I've seen lots of family's torn apart, like a divorce everyone takes a side and holds a grudge.

I owned a business that grew way faster than I was prepared to handle.  It was mega stress.  I never meant to run a 6 figure sales business from my basement with 3 kids under 5 while attending nursing school full time.  I eventually decided to sell, and in the process got an offer for partnership that was very tempting.  After 4 years of blood, sweat and tears part of me didn't want to let go of the dream and control.  The business needed things I couldn't give, like time to hire and train employees and then manage them.  I wanted to so badly take on a partner.  It was hard to let go of something so successful and that was such a huge part of me.  But in this case I knew in the end the partnership part of the deal would fall apart.  I knew I would end up doing the work still and wouldn't get relief from the parts of the business I couldn't handle anymore.

So, long and rambling story aside, you need to look into your heart.  If the business becomes what she envisions, will you be happy to have such a successful business?  Or will you be overwhelmed and stressed out at having to work so hard and so much?  If you are excited about the process of building a business, you can always talk to her about being bought out for a specific amount at a certain point.


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## MsBien (Aug 25, 2009)

I'm with Tanya.  And, you don't need to feel badly about it.   I'm sure it will be difficult to tell her, but after all it's your dream that you are pursuing.

Stacie


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## dandelion (Aug 25, 2009)

If you are excited then perhaps try some "mock" collaborations.  See how you guys work together on some non critical issues, for example revamping labeling or packaging or production increases.  One simple project will give you clues as to whether you can work together, longterm.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

I am in a similar situation as yours Ashley , though it is not family . My gut instinct is telling me to stay on my own until I feel comfortable having  a partner or decide I  definitely do not want or need a partner. I do not know how to tell her though :shock: . She is very  outgoing and personable and a heck of a saleswoman , BUT  :?: . I am feeling pressure that I don't want to feel , kwim. 
  I am going to  have to let her know it won't work for me at the present time , but hope she is open to talking about the option at another time. At first I thought it was a fantastic idea , but the more I think about it , the more unsure I become. 
(maybe she could open a store and you could make B&B for her to sell , you don't have to be partners to do something like that).
My last thought is that I did all this work on my own  to make it MY business , I don't want to share , I think that is what it boils down to for me .
  I have another gal who will sell my soap with an "Avon Lady " kind of business approach to it  , that does work for me .
I hope it all works out well for you Ashley.
Kitn


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

I would keep the business relationship with her, but
PAY her for the work she does (agree on an hourly wage).
If you can't pay her now, offer to hire her when you get off
your feet (She'll probably volunteer to work for free for awhile if she's
that carried away with the project.)

Then she has fun creating and suggesting/being part of things.
You have help when you need it/freedom when you need it.

She has no say in your business other than ideas/suggestions
-- she's an employee.


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## candice19 (Aug 26, 2009)

My personal feelings with partnerships is to NEVER EVER do it with family or friends.  People let their personal relationships get in the way of what needs to be done - for ex: was (the family member) supposed to tackle the accounting, but has slacked off for the past week? How do you bring that up?  Are you embarassed to "put pressure" on her b/c she's family?  What if she blows up?

Also, I feel that because you are family or friends, there is a sense of false security, which kinda leads to slacking off - rather than what a partnership should be: 2 people join in, double the work gets done.

If you do decide to partner with you aunt, Ashley, please make sure there are very clear rules as to what needs to be done.  You said it yourself, you are a bit of a control freak. You don't want to end up nitpicking and driving yourself nuts.


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## AshleyR (Aug 26, 2009)

Kitn said:
			
		

> My last thought is that I did all this work on my own  to make it MY business , I don't want to share , I think that is what it boils down to for me .



That is a big feeling of mine too. I know she understands though - she was really worried about coming across as wanting to just jump in and take over, after all the hard work I've put in so far. I have a really hard time sharing and as I said above, I tend to be a bit of a control freak, so working alone is usually what I prefer. BUT - she does have some great ideas that could benefit the business greatly. Hmmmm.

She has another business idea in mind that would involve me as well which I'm thinking I might be more comfortable with. I do wedding cakes and she loves interior design and is really good at it. Another idea of hers was to start an event decorating business. I already have a good reputation here for doing wedding cakes so if we offered wedding decorating services I already have an "in" with a lot of brides! She wants to do chair cover, linen, centerpiece, etc. rentals too. There's nobody else around here that does this sort of thing (within 8 hours of us) so I think it's a good idea. Her main idea was to have both this and the soap business combined - ie: open a soap/b&b/gift shop and have it as a booking location and showroom (in a seperate room) for the cake/event decorating business. 

Lots of ideas. I think I would be more comfortable with doing the event decorating thing as it would be a completely new business to the both of us and I wouldn't feel so much like I am giving up my "baby" (my soap business!) I can still do my soap business on a smaller scale by myself (as I have planned), but do this thing with her too (since I'm not sure that my soap business is going to be able to provide me with a full time income). 

Anyway, thanks so much for all of your advice everyone! I will definitely keep you updated on what I decide. I'm meeting with her again in a few days and hopefully we can talk more in detail about what we both expect.


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## dagmar88 (Aug 26, 2009)

hey Ashley,
I know how you feel! Some time ago a friend of mind asked me if she could join and focus on facial treatments... And I was like NOOOOO!!! I'm not gonna let you take my baby


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make Ashley .
If you went with the event business your soap could still be part of it . Gift soaps etc .

hugs

kitn


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## chrisinflorida (Aug 26, 2009)

I agree with everbody else.  I'm a control freak too and if someone wanted to partner with me I would have to kindly decline.  Idea suggestions are great and all, but I want to keep my business small also and keep all the control to myself.

I would be very wary of getting into any kind of partnership for the very reasons already mentioned.  My husband's cousin used to have a soap business.  She got into a partnership with someone and ended up doing nearly all of the work...for only half the profits.  She finally got tired of it and dissolved the business.  She actually made the soap so the business was over when she quit making soap.

Chris


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## AshleyR (Sep 12, 2009)

Update in original post!


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## Saltysteele (Sep 12, 2009)

well, if you were to go into the fast food business tomorrow, do you think mcdonald's would just hand over their suppliers, recipes and ideas?

i don't know about you, but i've put A LOT of time doing research (not just here) all over the web.  this site is fun and very informative, but every hour i've spent here, i've probably spent another 10 outside of this site researching.

it's one thing, sharing info and sources here, and just giving all your resources to someone who hasn't done any research.  i'm pretty sure everyone here has done a lot of leg and finger work getting to where they are at.

you can give a man a fish, blah, blah, blah.

just tell her it's in the best interest of your business and staying unique, that you can't just give her all of your stuff.  essentially, you would just be handing over your business to her, to see if she can run it better than you.


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## Rosey (Sep 12, 2009)

wow Ashley. Has she even made soap before? I can't imagine her just making soap now and selling it in November. 

I would be upset too. It sounds like she wants to do something with her time but I don't think that this is the way for her to do it. I would totally think that she is stealing your idea


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## TheSoapyEwe (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm too much of a control freak on every aspect of my soaping, the making, the labeling, the set up at shows,the invoices, packaging etc.
I couldn't bring myself to have a partner, heck I won't even let anyone help me....lol, when I have I'm constantly double checking their every move.

Good luck on whatever you choose to do


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