# Advice on Criticism



## DunbarDesigned (Aug 29, 2017)

Hey yall! (Yes I'm from Texas)
I was curious to hear about dealing with criticism. Now this is a forum so I already knew that there would be a vast diversity of personalities as well as skill levels. As a beginner in anything I do, I find it extremely hard to handle criticism. Especially if its my first, even second go at something. I have been adamant in expressing how fresh I am to the soap making scene and yet I feel like some of the "professional" (deemed by them) soapers were being a little harsh in tone when they were advising. I feel like they might be trying to help but I just personally don't like it when those with more experience seem to assert themselves over someone in the learning stage as if there is an expectation to know everything as soon as you buy some lye. (Okay, okay...you should DEFINITELY know something before getting to the lye but come on!) Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive? I mean one person even went so far as to "advise" me in one post and basically reprimand me, while undermining the knowledge I have gained, in the next. I would love to learn from everyone, not just the professionals but I'm already uncomfortable.


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## Kittish (Aug 29, 2017)

Criticism aimed at improving one's craft I'll always step back and try to look at objectively, even if the tone it's delivered in is harsh or confrontational. It might take me a bit to calm down enough to do so, if things get heated, but I try. 

Comments aimed at products people encounter out in the wild? I don't expect anyone to be 'nice' or even polite if the quality of the product doesn't warrant it. Think about it, would you give rave reviews to a 'baker' who decided to start selling their pies after watching a video or two and finding one or two dodgy recipes, and whose pies turned out soupy, soggy messes? For that matter, would you buy that pie in the first place? Probably not. 

And if that baker insisted that 'my pies are great! You just don't appreciate them!' if you tried to direct them to a source for good, reliable information, you probably would lose most of your respect for that person. There's a whole lotta 'my pies are great!' that comes through here. 

Ask questions. Don't ever be afraid to ask questions here. Go digging through old threads. Fiddle with the search function. This is a _wonderful_ resource for learning about making soap and other bath products. Jump in and learn something! It's fascinating. I had no idea when I got into this hobby that there was so MUCH variation or so many possibilities. 

And as I said in another thread, take the time to learn the craft. Take the time to be certain that the product you're sending out is the best it can possibly be.


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## psfred (Aug 29, 2017)

Written words do not carry intonation, so it's very easy for someone who writes in short sentences to appear harsh when they don't mean to.  Just the nature of written vs spoken words.  No facial expressions, either, and we primates get LOTS of clues from facial movement during speech.

And sometimes you just strike someone wrong and they are a bit snippier than they intend to be.  Stick with us, though, this is a great resource with very experienced people who want to help you along.  

Also, please remember than everyone's skin is different, so a soap that suits one person quite well will not make someone else happy -- I prefer soaps that most ladies would probably find much to drying, as I have fairly oily skin (never had dry skin, even when I lived in Northern Ontario).  Conditioning soaps feel greasy to me, and very unpleasant, but my mother really likes the HP one I superfatted with cocoa butter and shea butter, same as I use in shaving soap (and may reduce the superfat in next time).  So you really need to make what you think is a good recipe and see how it works.  You can always make something different next time!

I find that I just have to ignore some remarks -- even if they are maliciously intended, you will be better off pretending you didn't hear them.  My sister is very negative, always has been, so I've started not responding to her digs.  Don't know why she's so unhappy all the time, and no longer care.  Makes my life a lot easier, eh?

Oh, and the search function here isn't very good, you get better results using a phrase in Google or one of the site search engines -- you cannot search on three letter words on site, for instance.  It's a poor function in the software, you have to work around it.  Lots of good information, and likely the answer to most of your current and future questions if you can find a way to locate the data.


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## soapmaker (Aug 29, 2017)

Written words can be easily misunderstood. If someone answered a little too harshly they may have misinterpreted what you meant in your post. Just don't take it personally, learn what you can and stay with us. There's a lot of help here and if you are new as you say, to soapmaking you will come across problems that will be a whole lot easier to figure out with help from others.

Just don't sell till you have experience.


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## Obsidian (Aug 29, 2017)

Like already mentioned, it can be hard to read tone over the internet. Combine that with people who might have a more blunt or straight to the point personality and its easy to misunderstand and get hurt feelins.

I've been on this forum for a few years, I know the people who post here and none think they are better. More experienced, yes but not better. There is a difference.

If something hurts your feelings, take a step back and give it some time, you will probably see the comments in a different light once some time passes. I too took things wrong when I first joined, when people are passionate about a subject, its easy to come across as over bearing.

Nothing is personal so try and not take it that way. I also firmly believe that if you are going to use forums, you need to develop thick skin, at least to a degree. There will always be people you don't like or who just rub you the wrong way, you gotta learn to deal with tem.
I'll admit there are people here I don't care much for but their experience is greater than mine and it would be silly of me to dismiss what they say because of personal feelings.

Welcome to the forum, you'll learn a lot from everyone here


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## Dahila (Aug 29, 2017)

The best forum ever,  I prefer when someone gives me info I need it,  We have awesome people here, I learned so much from them.  You should join some soapmakers groups on Facebook then you would come back and bless us for being so nice  
Would you prefer us to lie to you...............oooooooooooo such beautiful nice and gentle soap, when we see that it is not?


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## BrewerGeorge (Aug 29, 2017)

I hope this isn't about me. If so, it was not my intent to scold you. If it bothered you, I apologize. My post was aggressive about that soap I saw that day and my expectations for it, not aggressive towards you. 

And I meant professional in the literal sense - those who sell. I am not a professional.


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## toxikon (Aug 29, 2017)

As others have said, tone is hard to read on the internet and because everyone is a stranger, it's easier to be a bit more forward with eachother instead of sugar coating as we might with a friend or family member. That's just a fact of the internet! I've been going on forums and chatrooms since I was 13 and first got the internet, you definitely need a thick skin and try not to take things personally. It's easiest to assume the best intentions of people - we're all here to help and educate as best we can.  Stick around!!


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## lsg (Aug 29, 2017)

I know that I have gotten the wrong impression from a post.  When I get a bit miffed, I back off for a while and then go back and re-read the post, later.  Usually, I find that the intent of the post was not to offend.  Hope you find the same.  I don't think anyone really likes criticism, but we can certainly learn from constructive criticism.


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## SoapTrey (Aug 29, 2017)

Hi Dundar! It's nice to meet you.

You can read a post 1000 ways with tones and inflections abound. I completely understand where you are coming from, but in the end it's just soap. 

Some of us take it more seriously than others and that's OK! The advice you are getting is simply that...so yea take it or leave it and don't be so sensitive about it... just my humble opinion.


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## BattleGnome (Aug 30, 2017)

I just found 
this NPR article. It almost exactly covers the issue. 

A quick summary:
Researchers were able to find volunteers from some people who were getting brain surgery for epilepsy. Doctors put probes on the brain's surface to try and find out where the seizures were located, part of this included listening to different sentences spoken by a computerized voice. The researchers had the computer repeat sentences with different inflections and found the brain reacted differently based on where they changed the tone.

The end of the article specifically mentions Autism research but the same idea applies to the critical tone one people feel the forum has (this isn't the first time it's been brought up). If we don't hear it then our brains don't always know how to interpret it. In a book you'll have context clues or mentions of "he said angrily" to let you know something was supposed to be negative. The people who tend to stick around longer than a month or two seem to internalize interpreting the forum tone as mostly positive (we are humans after all) and it's new people who tend to react to tone.


I also have a slight theory that this forum tends to attract people with a Miers-Briggs personality type of thinking or judging (the counterparts being feeling or perceiving) but have no actual basis to state it as a fact. We do have a lot of people who rely on the science of why or how things work which generally points to a T or J in the Miers-Briggs. The forum's most reccomended book is "Scientific Soapmaking" after all.


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## SunRiseArts (Aug 30, 2017)

:bunny: Howdy neighbor! (Well sort off)

Hope you are nowhere close to Harvey.  What a tragedy......   what part of Texas are you from?  South, North, East, or West?


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## Relle (Aug 30, 2017)

DD, here is a link in the forum, you might like to read on forum culture and tone -
http://www.soapmakingforum.com/showthread.php?t=56833


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## Susie (Aug 30, 2017)

Hey and welcome!  I'm from Louisiana, but I live in Texas now.  Hope you are not from any of the Harvey stricken areas!

I don't think it was me, as I have tried to stay away from controversial subjects...at least since last week.  I was raised in a military/medical home.  Those are some straightforward speaking folks!  Then I trained as a nurse, which compounded my tendency to just state facts without a lot of extra words.  I almost never mean to sound critical, however I come across that way to many.  I am truly simply trying to convey information in the most efficient manner possible.  There are a lot of us that try to just convey information without a lot of extraneous verbiage. 

And then there are those that get a little hot under the collar over some subjects.  

And it is sometimes hard to tell the difference.  Especially for someone new.  

Continue to read the forum, give it a bit, and you will learn who is mad and who is not.  We generally try to keep things civil, but sometimes people step over lines, and the mods take care of them swiftly enough.


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## WyvernWench (Aug 30, 2017)

Hey Dunbar!  First and foremost welcome to the forum!!!!!  I am a newbie as well, having made my first batch of soap in May this year.

The responses are leaning towards faulting you on the way you interrupted the criticism and in implying that you have added an emotional content to the post that may or may not have been there.  While these may be legitimate concepts they are only half the full story.

It takes TWO to make a fight!  So while we all need to add a touch of detachment to how we read and interrupt replies, we must also critic and evaluate how others will read the replies we post.  Just a few moments to read exactly what we have written and consider how someone else might 'hear' it can avoid a thousand little problems before they happen.  

There is a huge difference between criticism - catching someone doing something WRONG - and a critic - a balanced review.   

Yes, we all make mistakes, but we all also do something great, even in the worst disasters.  Before you hit the Post Reply button, take a moment and check which type of post you wrote.  Is it all about the mistakes?  Did you take that moment to comment first on something the member did well? 

Criticism only posts make people back away, pull back, and feel like failures.  
Criticism only posts make people stop participating because they don't want to be seen as failures.

Critics show the person both what they did right, what they did that really worked, and what they might change to make it even better next time.  Critics focus on growing, improving, and expanding your skills - which includes doing the 'something rights' again and again.

Since joining this forum in May I think I have started only four threads.  My first three threads were posted to the Beginner's section, and all three got moved by a moderator immediately and I still don't know where they went.  ???  No a very welcoming feeling for me.  So I learned fast not to start threads here ....

So please remember as you create new posts, new threads, and new replies ...

*  This is a forum made up of people who follow the recipe EXACTLY down the the one-hundredth of an ounce - a strict regiment for accuracy.  Please remember that 'doing something right' is the biggest part of the regiment.

*  This is a forum made up of people that are obsessive-compulsive about scraping the pitchers ABSOLUTELY CLEAN so that they capture every drop of batter.  Go to youtube and watch a few videos and you see that 5 minutes is used on making, coloring, and pouring, but 9 minutes are used up by scraping, cleaning, and chasing droplets of batter.   So please remember to back away from those little tiny droplets of mistakes, and see the big picture of what the poster learned or accomplished today.

*  And this is a forum of people who have extreme patience in their craft, all headed towards the same goal.  And that goal is not creating that Perfect Bar of Soap ... it about sharing their love and excitement for soap making.  Sharing is what forums are all about.

*  And they are very willing to share with you what they have learned along the way.

So to all that have posted about 'how someone else miss-interrupts' your post 
I will ask ... Did you catch someone doing something right today?

Thank you for reading, these are just my opinions and with 50 cents won't buy you a cup of coffee at Mickie D's.

EDIT - _*Quoting Mary Poppins, A spoonful of sugar ......*_


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## earlene (Aug 30, 2017)

Thank you, WyvernWench, for your well thought out and well articulated response.


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## penelopejane (Aug 30, 2017)

Wyvernwench 
At the very top of the soapmaking forum page is "today's posts" when I look at the forum I only look at that list. You can't lose a post that way and you can see which topics have been updated since you last looked. 

The mods try to keep posts together in their correct little huddle. Don't take having had a post moved as a slight against you-it's a filing thing! 

Go ahead and start a thread if you need to and adjust your search! 

To the OP Dunbardesigns:  I've looked in on "the dish" and a few Facebook soaping pages and I come scuttling back here for protection! You'll learn to hear each person's particular voice eventually and get to know them. Everyone is trying to help in their own way.


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## lenarenee (Aug 30, 2017)

I couldn't tell if you truly were looking for advice on how to handle criticism, or if this was your way of saying, "Hey dude/dudette, you hurt my feelings" to the  person who did, without directly confronting them in the thread.

So I didn't respond. 

But you did leave me wondering how I handle criticism, which led me to the question - is it worth paying attention to someone's criticism?

I'm a child care provider in a rather wealthy entitled area. New people are turned off when they hear what I do for work. Their comments range from "why would you ever want to do that? Did you ever think of getting a real job? to...but you seem intelligent....

Many people really do think that any moron can "watch" kids. But do they do it well?

I have one particular child who thanks me every day - at least once - for the way I take care of her. She feels loved, respected, valued, supported...and strengthened enough to face the challenges in her day. 

I never had that as a kid, so I know how absolutely priceless my work is.  I don't need/want a corporate charge account or designer clothes to feel worthy. When I look into a child's eyes and see hope, joy and confidence....that's golden.

Sorry for the long story, but it leads me back to you:

A nameless stranger seems to have a negative feeling about your soaping knowledge. Does it matter?  Should it stop you from fulfilling your goal of learning to make soap? Does it mean you should feel bad?

You have ONE person you are completely accountable to; yourself. You don't need to please any one else, so feel free to take care of your needs and ignore anything that isn't worth your time.

You are wanted here. Welcome to the forum; I look forward to seeing your future soaping adventures!


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## soapmaker (Aug 30, 2017)

I just hope Dunbar sees all this support.


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## WyvernWench (Aug 30, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> Wyvernwench
> At the very top of the soapmaking forum page is "today's posts" when I look at the forum I only look at that list. You can't lose a post that way and you can see which topics have been updated since you last looked.
> 
> The mods try to keep posts together in their correct little huddle. Don't take having had a post moved as a slight against you-it's a filing thing!
> ...



Thank you PennyJ!!!!!!


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## DunbarDesigned (Aug 30, 2017)

SunRiseArts said:


> :bunny: Howdy neighbor! (Well sort off)
> 
> Hope you are nowhere close to Harvey.  What a tragedy......   what part of Texas are you from?  South, North, East, or West?



I live in South Texas. Its hasn't been bad where I am but Houston has been hit quite hard. Thank you for the well wishes. Honestly if it wasn't for the news, the disheveled grocery stores and everyone checking on me, I wouldn't even know there was a Hurricane! (I don't have cable and the only thing I watch or read about is soap as of late)



lenarenee said:


> I couldn't tell if you truly were looking for advice on how to handle criticism, or if this was your way of saying, "Hey dude/dudette, you hurt my feelings" to the  person who did, without directly confronting them in the thread.
> 
> So I didn't respond.
> 
> ...



To be honest...both. I wanted to address them but I also know I can be quite sensitive especially when I'm determined and I feel like I'm being knocked down before I'm even trying to stand. I'm also petty af and I didn't want to come in here starting anything! While I don't like confrontation, I also don't like letting people just chip at me anyway they'd like. So I figured I'd just ask about criticism to check myself.


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## Susie (Aug 30, 2017)

You will get to know those people who are just here to be negative.  They are few and far in between, thank goodness!  Everyone else is here to help and to learn.  Not necessarily in that order, though.  We all have differing opinions on stuff, though, so read through entire threads before making any decision.  That way you get a lot of opinions and can decide on your own.


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## dixiedragon (Aug 30, 2017)

I re-read your first thread and I didn't see anything that resembled this:



> I mean one person even went so far as to "advise" me in one post and basically reprimand me, while undermining the knowledge I have gained, in the next. I would love to learn from everyone, not just the professionals but I'm already uncomfortable.


 
You mention that you have a problem with criticism and that you feel "knocked down" - I gently suggest that you seem to have some insecurities that are leading you to interpret things in the worst possible light?

On an internet forum - ANY internet forum - it is best to try to view things in the "best light". There is a lot of kindness and enthusiasm here, but also not a lot of sugar coating, because there are genuine safety issues involved here. And if you are sharing your products with other people, you could harm them. Here's a thread that might interest you.
http://www.soapmakingforum.com/showthread.php?t=39952

We feel very strongly about safety - your safety and the safety of people who use your products. I am thinking you are referring to the people telling you not to use glass? That is not criticism of YOU - that is criticism of the videos that do that and also concern for your safety. Think about it - what if that glass pitcher shatters while you are carrying it and a few cups of hot lye water and glass shards poured over your foot? That would be a horrible injury.


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## cmzaha (Aug 30, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> Wyvernwench
> At the very top of the soapmaking forum page is "today's posts" when I look at the forum I only look at that list. You can't lose a post that way and you can see which topics have been updated since you last looked.
> 
> The mods try to keep posts together in their correct little huddle. Don't take having had a post moved as a slight against you-it's a filing thing!
> ...


 But there is a lot of wonderful information available on the Dish from very knowledgeable members. In fact it was on the Dish where I received fantastic information about making lotions. You just have to get past the "tough love" ...My first first few day on the dish I had a member decide to "police" our website and tell me all that was wrong. What she did not know was, we actually had an FDA inspector place an order and was all over our site. We sent out the order and never heard back. We really never knew if she was the site or just wanted to actually order. I posted back on the thread that I did not ask the gal for her advice then blocked her on the forum.

All forums tend to have a key word that ticks off the longer forum members. I noticed on the Dish it is someone asking for a recipe. Here mentioning selling when you just start off making soap is similar to waving a red flag in front of a bull. Those of us whom sell have put in several years of very hard work perfecting our recipes and testing them to make sure they are stable. Then it is the extreme hard work of going to markets and making little back. There are very knowledgeable folks here with a lot of information to learn. After 7-8 yrs of soapmaking I still learn new thing here. You don't like the way someone answers move on or send a pm. Some people are very diplomatic some such as I are not so much. So stick around and learn


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## kchaystack (Aug 30, 2017)

This is pretty much why I have severely cut down on posting especially to new people.  Sometimes I can't help myself, but I am really trying to get better about just not saying anything.


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## WyvernWench (Aug 30, 2017)

kchaystack said:


> This is pretty much why I have severely cut down on posting especially to new people.  Sometimes I can't help myself, but I am really trying to get better about just not saying anything.



kchaystack, I am sorry to hear this as it makes me wonder what I might have learned from you or what experiences we might have shared but never will.  But  I sure can't judge as I have been lurking for more than 90 days and still not posted enough to 'qualify' to enter the challenges because I, too, am trying to keep a low profile ...


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## SoapTrey (Aug 30, 2017)

kchaystack said:


> This is pretty much why I have severely cut down on posting especially to new people.  Sometimes I can't help myself, but I am really trying to get better about just not saying anything.



That's a shame, because the posts I've read from you seem very insightful


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## Susie (Aug 30, 2017)

kchaystack said:


> This is pretty much why I have severely cut down on posting especially to new people.  Sometimes I can't help myself, but I am really trying to get better about just not saying anything.



That is a shame.  It really is.  You have so much to teach people!  I learn from you quite often when you post.  Please reconsider and come back!


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## soapmaker (Aug 31, 2017)

What a storm this thread unleashed. Please, we're all grown-ups...just everybody post their honest thoughts in a considerate way so we can all learn together.


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## Dahila (Aug 31, 2017)

Exactly, are we becoming fb with all politically correct answers.  
Knowledgeable, people who want to post and share , stop posting because they "hurt" some snowflakes feelings. 
I thought we are all mature people 
Relle linked to forum courtesy rules, it should be sticky for newbies it should come first when they come to forum.
I am not here to fight, I am here to learn,
Making drama's cause of criticism, is very immature,  If someone can not take criticism, why bother and ask questions? 
Drama Queen?????
The most knowledgeable, person stopped posting????? Come on people do not ask questions if you are that sensitive, the best not to be on internet,  every where people voice their opinions.


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## toxikon (Aug 31, 2017)

soapmaker said:


> What a storm this thread unleashed. Please, we're all grown-ups...just everybody post their honest thoughts in a considerate way so we can all learn together.



I'm not trying to be rude, I'm honestly curious... I have read the responses here, and I do not see any "storm"? I see honest thoughts and advice and people acting like grown-ups, having a discussion - the exact thing you are asking for.


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## Saponificarian (Aug 31, 2017)

I think the longer this thread gets, the more likely someone's nose is going to be outa sort . The OP have gotten great advices and all. I would implore everyone that we let this thread go (die). I have been all on all sort of forums and I have got to admit you guys rock.... Group hug!


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## Susie (Aug 31, 2017)

I don't see a storm, either.  But if the OPs questions have not been answered by now, they never will be.  I am glad, however, that kchaystack has been told by more than me that he needs to come back and participate in this forum!


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## Arimara (Aug 31, 2017)

I'm still waiting on an explanation on how to read tone. To my knowledge- that's impossible. Sure peoplecan be a little more careful with word choices but it's up to the reader to pick and choose what to and when to react to it.

Communication always has it's intended message and the received message. Many times the intended message is not quite the received message. This is especially true when you are not face-to-face with the person whom you're talking too. At time like this, you have to acknowledge that what is being said may not have been written in a way to hurt or offend. In those cases, you walk away and then revisit the "offending" post and reread it.  

I've come across plenty of seemingly offending posts but most of the time, I stopped and waited before REREADING that post again. Most of those posts turned out to be well needed advice.


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## Relle (Sep 2, 2017)

WyvernWench said:


> Since joining this forum in May I think I have started only four threads.  My first three threads were posted to the Beginner's section, and all three got moved by a moderator immediately and I still don't know where they went.  ???  No a very welcoming feeling for me.  So I learned fast not to start threads here ....
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## WyvernWench (Sep 2, 2017)

Relle said:


> WyvernWench said:
> 
> 
> > Since joining this forum in May I think I have started only four threads.  My first three threads were posted to the Beginner's section, and all three got moved by a moderator immediately and I still don't know where they went.  ???  No a very welcoming feeling for me.  So I learned fast not to start threads here ....
> ...


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## soapmaker (Sep 2, 2017)

It's not a weak person that is wrong. It is a weak person that can't say "I was wrong."


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## SunRiseArts (Sep 2, 2017)

cmzaha what is the dish?  Is it a bath and body forum?  Or are you talking about TV ....  please forgive my ignorance ...  but I am curious.

:?


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## penelopejane (Sep 2, 2017)

SunRiseArts said:


> cmzaha what is the dish?  Is it a bath and body forum?  Or are you talking about TV ....  please forgive my ignorance ...  but I am curious.
> 
> :?



Thedishforum.com is a closed group that discusses handmade bath and body products. There is a bit of info about soap making.


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## Dahila (Sep 2, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> Thedishforum.com is a closed group that discusses handmadebath and body production. There is a bit of info about soap making.



not only soaping, lotion making, and much more


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## SunRiseArts (Sep 3, 2017)

Thanks!  I feel silly not knowing about it!  :headbanging:


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## Steve85569 (Sep 3, 2017)

Darn it!
Seems I missed all the excitement.

I got some very helpful "criticism" when I first got here. It ended up saving me from making a lot more mistakes than I have along the way.

Like has been said we're all soapers here. Some with more practice and experience than others. For me it just means that I have made my beginner mistakes and learned from them. I have also learned that many of the people here have a lot to teach me. As soon as I am teachable.
My feelings got hurt early on here because I thought I knew more than I did. I still have lots of "stuff" that I got early on that I hope to live long enough to eventually use up.
I am still learning this soap making craft thingy.

And the colors.
And packaging.
It goes on and on....

Steve


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## SoapTrey (Sep 3, 2017)

Dahila said:


> not only soaping, lotion making, and much more



Should I check it out... I almost feel a bit intimidated :???:


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## lenarenee (Sep 4, 2017)

SoapTrey said:


> Should I check it out... I almost feel a bit intimidated :???:



It's not for the meek or timid. They're a pretty close knit group of long term members who've known each other a long time. And they're not shy. I pop over there every few months for something new, but I can't say that learning soap or lotion skills is the focus; maybe it used to be but there's just as much about politics, what book, tv, craft you're doing, life problems etc. than anything else. They are not fans of a certain high ranking political leader.


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## Susie (Sep 4, 2017)

I have pretty thick skin, and I only go over there when DeeAnna, IrishLass or someone else directs me to a particular thread.  Just warning you.


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## penelopejane (Sep 4, 2017)

lenarenee said:


> It's not for the meek or timid. They're a pretty close knit group of long term members who've known each other a long time. And they're not shy. I pop over there every few months for something new, but I can't say that learning soap or lotion skills is the focus; maybe it used to be but there's just as much about politics, what book, tv, craft you're doing, life problems etc. than anything else. They are not fans of a certain high ranking political leader.



Totally agree.  They are scary.  I have never made a comment.  I just read.


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## Dahila (Sep 4, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> Totally agree.  They are scary.  I have never made a comment.  I just read.



I make only comments type "happy birthday"  :mrgreen:


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## dibbles (Sep 4, 2017)

penelopejane said:


> Totally agree.  They are scary.  I have never made a comment.  I just read.



Ditto


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## SoapTrey (Sep 4, 2017)

So I just created an account over on the dish to see what all the hubbub was about and yea... there seems to be a lot of really good advice, but the "tone" of the forum isn't exactly my cup of tea.  Some of the posters seem to have a bit of an attitude... I can certainly see why you would be hesitant about posting there. 

The etiquette of this forum is far superior and I'm glad I found you guys 

I see soapcalc.net is going to be introducing a new forum soon.


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## earlene (Sep 6, 2017)

Dahila said:


> Exactly, are we becoming fb with all politically correct answers.
> Knowledgeable, people who want to post and share , stop posting because they "hurt" some snowflakes feelings.
> I thought we are all mature people



The way words change meaning over time is amazing to me.  When I first heard 'snowflake' being bandied about as an insult it was confusing to me.  

Millennials were snowflakes because they were too coddled to face the 'real' world?  

Or anyone who felt they were 'special' and should be treated differntly than everyone else.  Apparently a usage that is attributed to the author of the Fight Club.  

And now it's a an incredibly mean political insult.

Why can't it just stay that lovely thing that gently falls from the sky when the moisture and cold meet to create a lovely circumstance that makes children and me smile, laugh and stick our tongues out to taste these flitting bits of winter.


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## Dahila (Sep 6, 2017)

earlene snowflakes dissolve quickly this is why this name, still it is not insulting,  It rather means weak people; in this contest people who love to be priced,  As I said do not ask question if you do not expect a honest answer


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