As others said, castile does like a looong cure time. It is totally worth it, I have read. I still have not used mine.
I was reading last night about a goat's milk castile; GM instead of water in the lye solution. I am tempted to make that one soon.
I do not and cannot use commercial conditioners because every single one of them I have ever used causes red blotches on my face & neck. I have used ACV as rinse, but don't really like doing so. I'm very much a 'minimal personal care products' kind of gal. The less there is to clutter up the shower, the better.
My "Castile" bars are only 9 months old. I've been showering with one for a few days, and although it's nice, I'm not impressed with it. That could be because I had to rebatch it (which I did 2 weeks after I made it) or because it's still fairly young. I'll try again in a few weeks.
Have you tried to use one of your oils as a conditioner for your hair? Just a few drops of oil rubbed into your palms then smoothed into your hair (starting from the bottom) may help. When my hair was long, the ends were dry and split even though I got regular trims. I started putting EVOO on them after I shampooed and before I dried. It made a noticeable difference in how my hair looked. But, like Carolyn said, the hair is dead, so you can't really repair it. If I was doing it now, I'd probably use something other than EVOO, maybe coconut since I have so much of it.