The Husband Store

[Dennis]

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love ***.
The 2nd floor has wives that love *** and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.

 

[newbie]

Reminds me of an interview I heard of the women who wrote, "Mr. Good Enough" or something similar. She asked a group of men to write down a list of things that would be deal breakers for having a relationship, and asked a group of women to write a list of things that would be deal-breakers for them. THe men's list averaged 3 items, like no sense of humor, not attractive and something else (No ***? No money?) and the women's lists averaged 100 items, like doesn't like my favorite book and having a mustache. Her conclusion: women are way way too picky.

 

[Pepsi Girl]

Her conclusion: women are way way too picky.

While that May or may not be the true, a list is not a bad idea! I married once for the "normal" reasons , guy sees pretty girl,guy ask girl out, girl thinks guy is total hunk, girl says yes, they date have fun, get married.

The second time I had a list "things I want in a husband" you may not believe me but it's true just the same, I still have the list, he meets every qualification on my list and we've now been married a good l o n g time.

Of course he didn't have a list he married me because I was cute! :wink:

 

[newbie]

I don't think a list of what you want is a bad idea. The list this author was asking for was a list of things that you would not tolerate in man, and so not liking your fav book or having a mustache seemed a bit picky. I married once too. And divorced, much like you. Still happily single. Perhaps I am one of those too picky types!

 

[eyeroll]

IMO any list of qualities you want/don't want in a partner shouldn't have more than 4-5 items; any more, and you are being too picky. And you should be willing to disregard some of those items IF you find someone who is a good match for you in most other ways. For example, I married a Republican (gasp! My family loves him but my dad has told me more than once he raised me better than that - (half) jokingly.)

Not trying to make a political point here, more that things you think are important may go out the window when you meet the right person. And yes, I do think knowing what you want from a partner (ie. a list) is important. Even when they tell you who they voted for and you want to die.

 

[AnnaMarie]

This is an interesting conversation....I will celebrate 20 years of happy marriage this month to a man who was my complete opposite! Not only that, but it is an inter cultural marriage to boot. I had a list so to speak, but it was made of important, intrinsic values- non negotiables . Every woman should know what hers are I also think there are women who are too picky and whose list is made up of the wrong kind of items. Thanks for the laugh Dennis!
Cheers!
Anna Marie

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

I had no real list of what I wouldn't want, but a list of some things that I would want. The things that I thought were important turned out to be very unimportant!

If I had been asked to describe my perfect woman, I most likely would not have described Mrs Effy, but she is totally perfect for me after all.

Just goes to show that we often do not really know what is going to be best for us and too many people stick to these "non negotiables" when they might not always be so important in reality. Some are, of course - my wife would have to love Jesus more than she loves me, but too often we get our lists wrong and miss out on happiness because of it.

 

[Khanjari]

I totally understand that.... When I got married I too had a list of the 'should' and 'should not' for my man! It turned out complete opposite of the 'should not' but I am so happy it was the way it is because now that I have completed 8 years of happy marriage I know better and I have seen the world in a totally new way with him.

 

[AnnaMarie]

I had no real list of what I wouldn't want, but a list of some things that I would want. The things that I thought were important turned out to be very unimportant!

If I had been asked to describe my perfect woman, I most likely would not have described Mrs Effy, but she is totally perfect for me after all.

Just goes to show that we often do not really know what is going to be best for us and too many people stick to these "non negotiables" when they might not always be so important in reality. Some are, of course - my wife would have to love Jesus more than she loves me, but too often we get our lists wrong and miss out on happiness because of it.

I do think we agree on what non-negotiables consist of . When I think of non-negotiables I mean things that fly in the face of everything a person stands for, and I will qualify this statement by saying that a person really needs to know themselves. For example, having kids- that is definitely something a couple needs to agree upon. Personal faith is a big one for me as well. Being hard working is a must for me because I would never respect a lazy or unmotivated person and respect is huge in marriage. Basic, intrinsic values are what comprise my non-negotiable list. It is these basics that helped my husband and I to have a very happy marriage considering our opposite natures
Cheers!
Anna Marie

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

Aye. I know a lot of older singles who have far too many "must-haves" and I think to myself that they really need to drop unrealistic expectations. It sounds horrible, but for a friend of mine I think that an un-ugly, nice chap would be utterly spot on. She might be waiting for a very handsome wonderman, but it's just not going to happen!

 

[AnnaMarie]

That's why they're single....yes, I know a few of those myself, and yes, they have some silly items on their list. I know they think they are important, but there are other things that are far more important. The trick is to know what the really important items are...

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

After faith comes "listening to me chatter about soaping"

 

[newbie]

Ha! Was that on your list, EG?

That's one of the problems with all this online dating. Everyone is more or less on paper and there is no opportunity to truly know someone before you've judged them based on something listed. And an unattractive person, by society's standards, can become very attractive when you know the person themselves because who they are overcomes what they look like (which can go both ways, ugly=> attractive and attractive=>ugly).

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

Ha! Was that on your list, EG?

No no - I got in to soaping after I got married. I used to shoot and fence in the UK, but here in Austria it's a lot harder to find places to do that at times that I can do - needed a new hobby and it turned out to be soaping

 

[houseofwool]

That's why they're single....yes, I know a few of those myself, and yes, they have some silly items on their list. I know they think they are important, but there are other things that are far more important. The trick is to know what the really important items are...

Not all of us are single because we are waiting for someone unrealistic. I know that I am in a smallish location and there really aren't that many single men out there who aren't uber creepy.

 

[AnnaMarie]

Not all of us are single because we are waiting for someone unrealistic. I know that I am in a smallish location and there really aren't that many single men out there who aren't uber

Hi house of wool. My comment wasn't directed at all single people My comment was a response back to a previous comment regarding a few women in particular- not all. Of course not everyone is single because they are picky. There is definitely a supply of creepy men out there. Location and circumstances can absolutely create a challenge for the dating life. And some are single out of choice This really was a conversation directed at the truly picky people that this poem was making light of and our thoughts about that. I wasn't trying to offend
Cheers!
Anna Marie

 

[grayceworks]

I had no real list of what I wouldn't want, but a list of some things that I would want. The things that I thought were important turned out to be very unimportant!

If I had been asked to describe my perfect woman, I most likely would not have described Mrs Effy, but she is totally perfect for me after all.

Just goes to show that we often do not really know what is going to be best for us and too many people stick to these "non negotiables" when they might not always be so important in reality. Some are, of course - my wife would have to love Jesus more than she loves me, but too often we get our lists wrong and miss out on happiness because of it.

This, and actually several comments in this thread remind me of the movie 'Only You'

 

[Jeanea]

This goes to show that there is a difference between having standards and knowing what you want. There is also a difference between knowing what you want and settling. Which is why a lot people I know are not married.

Most don't know what they want and those who do settle only to find they should have stuck to standards. The rest are just hopeless.