Yesterday my sister lost her baby. Her baby girl Iris we were looking forward to so much with such loving and hoping hearts. The day after Christmas my sister lost another baby girl full term to still birth.. born sleeping. So this was her little rainbow baby. It’s been soul crushing.
So my sister for a long time now has been a part of all of these groups on line and I’ve just never made sense of talking to strangers about my problems? In fact I’m not even sure who I’m writing to right now and it’s a little weird but I just feel like my heart is throbbing out of my body and I have nowhere for these words to go right now.
So anyway.. with all the waiting since I am out of state and unable to leave to be with her I found myself pacing my apartment waiting, holding my phone, driving myself insane with my thoughts wishing I could have a glass of wine or something to calm down but do to my own health issues and medications I have to be on I can’t handle alcohol very well lol. BUT I did remember I picked up a bottle of Berrywine scent from bramble berry and had an idea. Not sure if this is a major soaping no no, but I sure do hope it comes out nice. I tried to put my heart and ALL my mind into it for the time being. And I hope it gelled all the way through. I even built it a little cardboard house for the night with towel to retain as much heat as possible. Trying for the darkest wine color possible. The very ends look iffy but the cut will tell I guess. So tell me. Would you gasp in horror at this soap? Or think as a wino ohhh how cute and grab this up. Lol cuz I think it was cute haha.
Listen. I’m sorry for venting here but I’m glad I did. I don’t really know ANY of you so I’m sorry. But if you pray my family could truly use some prayers right now. We have all been going through so much and could really use a ray of sunshine and soon.... I will be with my sister again thanksgiving. And it can’t come soon enough....
PS I did have some cracking in a couple areas (bummer)