Yes, I run them through Bramble Berry's calculator. How do I get the lye/milk to be cooler?
Holy smokes that is some hot soaping! I usually soap at around 100F, which is 37.7C. So you are soaping more than twice as hot as most of the recommended temps I have seen.
You get them cooler by letting them sit longer. I mix my water and lye first, and then set them aside. Then I melt my oils. This gives my oils time to cool a bit if they get too hot. I like my oils and my like between 100 and 110.
You may want to try running your recipes through this
lye calculator:
http://www.soapcalc.net/calc/SoapCalcWP.asp
I really like it b/c it will give you some ranges of values for hardness, conditioning, bubbles, etc.
I am wondering if you have been making soap long enough that you are trying to cut some corners? I notice that I will get over confident and not take temperatures like I should, or try to reduce the water. For me, it's always best to use close to the maximum amount of water (I use the calculator at Majestic Mountain Sage b/c it gives a range of water), and to make sure to take the temps. I always think the lye and the oils have cooled down more than the have.
Also, I am not a palm user, but I have read about this problem before - how big of a container did you get your palm oil in? Apparently palm oil will settle out, so the oil on the bottom has more of the palmitic acid, which is the component that allows palm oil to make soap harder. But it can also make soap brittle if you use too much.
So if your palm oil is in a large container, like a 5 gallon bucket, the top of the oil will have less palmitic acid than the bottom of the bucket. So if you don't mix the oil thoroughly each time, soap made from the palm oil at the bottom of the bucket will be harder and more brittle.
Soapers who use palm oil and who get it in large containers, such as 5 gallon buckets, say they melt it down, mix it thoroughly and divide into smaller containers to avoid that.