My Friend's Benefit

[Catscankim]

My friends mom died this week. He is young..in his 20's. We are having a weekend-long benefit for help with funeral expenses. I had work tonight, so that sucked, cause I couldn't help too much, and I am pretty good at raising money.

I am going to label lip balms I made tonight, and put them in a basket for free give a ways for donators. I can't sell lip balms in Florida. But I also have lots of soap that I have ready to sell, so I was also thinking that I could donate part of the money that I usually sell them for. I sell for $8 a bar, and they cost me $2.50-ish per bar to make. Maybe $3 a bar donated to the benefit? I dunno. Or maybe the whole thing and just make my money back on the cost of the bar. He's a very good friend. I'd like opinions on this. It IS a benefit.

We have pretty generous friends. We already raised $3000 since yesterday (friday). Funeral expenses that the the funeral home is estimating is around $12k. Made a little dent, but not enough. His mom didn't have the type of job that had a 401k or anything.

Sunday night is going to be a big night for this. Big pool night at the pool hall, plus its super bowl. I want to make him some money for the funeral. To me, the soap i made is money already spent...it will make an impact on the business i am trying to start, but I want to help. I have a following with my soaps there already, so they will sell without a doubt.

I already made a $100 cash donation, plus I bought $20 in raffle tickets...I worked tonight and wasn't able to attend the first part of the benefit, so I called in and asked the owner to front me the 50/50, and told him that if i won that he was to give the winnings to the benefit. I did't win LOL, but whoever did, wrote on their ticket that it was to go to the benefit, which is super cool. He made several hundred dollars on it.

When my mom died, it took me and my two sisters to literally put up every penny we had combined to come up with the funeral money... Even if you have insurance, they don't take it any more, you get reimbursed. So you got to pay it up front, so I am feeling his pain.

In typing this message, I think I answered my own dilemma. I should just do it and sell the soap at a loss.

 

[SoapMedic]

You're a wonderful friend! I hope things work out. So glad he has the support of so many people.

 

[Babyshoes]

Why not put together a basket of soapy goodies and do a raffle? Not sure what the rules are about that in your area if you included lip balm etc.

You could also add things you haven't made, like a soap dish, pretty flannel, nail brush etc.

I don't see an issue with keeping the 2.50 it costs per bar but donating the rest, for the first X number of bars.

 

[Peachy Clean Soap]

My friends mom died this week. He is young..in his 20's. We are having a weekend-long benefit for help with funeral expenses. I had work tonight, so that sucked, cause I couldn't help too much, and I am pretty good at raising money.

I am going to label lip balms I made tonight, and put them in a basket for free give a ways for donators. I can't sell lip balms in Florida. But I also have lots of soap that I have ready to sell, so I was also thinking that I could donate part of the money that I usually sell them for. I sell for $8 a bar, and they cost me $2.50-ish per bar to make. Maybe $3 a bar donated to the benefit? I dunno. Or maybe the whole thing and just make my money back on the cost of the bar. He's a very good friend. I'd like opinions on this. It IS a benefit.

We have pretty generous friends. We already raised $3000 since yesterday (friday). Funeral expenses that the the funeral home is estimating is around $12k. Made a little dent, but not enough. His mom didn't have the type of job that had a 401k or anything.

Sunday night is going to be a big night for this. Big pool night at the pool hall, plus its super bowl. I want to make him some money for the funeral. To me, the soap i made is money already spent...it will make an impact on the business i am trying to start, but I want to help. I have a following with my soaps there already, so they will sell without a doubt.

I already made a $100 cash donation, plus I bought $20 in raffle tickets...I worked tonight and wasn't able to attend the first part of the benefit, so I called in and asked the owner to front me the 50/50, and told him that if i won that he was to give the winnings to the benefit. I did't win LOL, but whoever did, wrote on their ticket that it was to go to the benefit, which is super cool. He made several hundred dollars on it.

When my mom died, it took me and my two sisters to literally put up every penny we had combined to come up with the funeral money... Even if you have insurance, they don't take it any more, you get reimbursed. So you got to pay it up front, so I am feeling his pain.

In typing this message, I think I answered my own dilemma. I should just do it and sell the soap at a loss.

Sorry for your loss . I was thinking on the lines of a small gift basket w/ a bath scrunchie & soap. I know it adds additional cost but you may be able to generate funeral expenses that way & or ask for a collection the evening of the pool hall event with a set amount $$$ you want to reach!. The funeral business is a very lucrative business' unfortunately family members half to pay all expenses before loved one can be laid to rest. Most unfair IMHO. Best of luck

 

[glendam]

So sorry to hear about his loss, and how generous of you to help. Perhaps not for this case, but for future reference, I have learned recently that there are a lot of options for burial, besides the ones most funeral homes offer up front. (And more eco friendly). Also learned that embalming is optional and there are some funeral homes that do not force it. These are some videos that explain alternatives:

 

[AliOop]

Love your heart to help folks in need, @Catscankim!

 

[cmzaha]

Personally, I would just donate the soap, as my daughter and I have done many times for fundraisers, even though we could not use it as a tax deduction. I hope all the fundraising goes well for the young man so he can have the funeral his mom deserves. Sadly funerals are Big Business today.

This is a tad off-topic but your bars are pretty expensive to produce at $2.50 each.

 

[TheGecko]

So sorry for your loss.

$12,000 is absolutely ridiculous (and unnecessary). If folks truly want to help, then they can start by going to the funeral home with the son and going over the costs. Our family quit doing body burials thirty years ago, we do cremation. Depending on the crematorium...about a $1000. Then you get a nice container to put the ashes in if you want. You can then keep the ashes, spread them or bury them. Burying ashes is cheaper than burying a body. It doesn't require a concreate liner or digging a huge hole in the ground.

For the service, you can display the urn along with pictures. Folks can still pay their respects to the deceased and the family. The service doesn't have to take place at the funeral home...a local church or hall is okay. For the after service, keep the food simple...meat and cheeses on roll, bulk salads, cookies...coffee and punch. You can purchase from a local grocery store deli or if you go through a church, the congregation will provide at a low cost.

As for fund raising...I would just donate the gross proceeds the same as I do when I donate baked goods or knitted/crochet items.

 

[Catscankim]

I just spoke with him and he said that was the price for a cremation and service. Well my mom-voice kicked in. And his older sisters are coming down from out of town this week, so hopefully they will get things straight. I know that is not a correct price. It cost that much for us to bury my mom old-fashioned Roman Catholic style a few years ago in Philly...including the plot, church, etc. Thieves.

He is in a bad place right now...mentally. He kept saying how he can't stand that his mom is "sitting on ice" until he can get it figured out. He isn't listening to reason. I really hope his sisters get this straight.

And the landlord already stepped in to tell him he needed to vacate. It hasn't even been a week yet. I don't even know why he talked to the landlord already, but I told him to stand his ground right now. Eviction Moratorium has been extended until the end of March, but I don't know if any of this qualifies. Probably not, but when his head is screwed on straight, maybe he can work something out with him...like pay rent LOL.

I don't know if he is going to take my advice, but I told him to get the cremation done, we have already raised enough for that. Then plan a service later outside of the funeral home when he can afford it. We have Botanical Gardens down the street that I have been at a few services/memorials for and it is really nice there.

Off topic, I went to my friends service there, and you can walk through the gardens and purchase plants. I bought what I thought was a Magnolia to plant in my yard in her memory. I'm like....sorry Robin, I know your favorite color is purple, but this one is really pretty. Darn thing ended up not being a Magnolia (it was mislabeled), and it bloomed purple LOL. Well played Robin, well played LOL. I still don't know what the heck this plant is LOL.

Back to the soaps...I think I am going to let them be sold full-price and 100% goes to the benefit. I also don't want to spend my night babysitting a table of soaps though since I have pool league, so I might do an honor system (in plain view of the bartender) with a jar. I think people might actually donate more that way. I'm thinking if it were me on the other side, then I might take a bar of soap and throw $20 in for the donation. Or if they are $8 for the bar/donation, someone will just throw in $10. I dunno. That's me. If it were a benefit, I don't think I would dig through or ask for my $2 change, LOL.

I was at a firefighters benefit a long time ago. He died on duty...my coworkers brother. This benefit was HUGE. the 50/50 was worth a few thousand dollars. The girl who won it stood on stage and kindly thanked everybody for their donations, and kept her share. She was boo'd off the stage LOL. She later donated $300. The table I was sitting at...we were all praying that one of us would win so we could donate it back to the family. Instead she won, and she kept it minus $300. Even just half would have been nice, but no.

 

[Sudds]

That price is outrageous! When my husband died in TN, which is a cheap state to live in, it was $2000 to have him cremated and you pay extra for an urn, or else they give you the remains in a box, which horrified me. My husband's hobby was woodturning and furniture making so he had turned many urns for folks, you might want to ask around to see if anyone you know turns wood or knows someone that does and would donate an urn for your friend's mom. Hopefully, he and his sisters can come to an agreement on the upcoming process. This can sometimes cause huge rifts in families. As for the landlord, he needs to pay the rent out of whatever money he gets ASAP and there should be local tenant advisors that handle renter problems, especially if you live in a University/College town most of them are free. Also the landlord has to go through the sheriff's office to officially evict someone. It is a process that can take a couple of months...I used to be the County Sheriff's Admin. Asst. that's how I know abt this. To help him just call the local county sheriff's office and see if they are evicting folks or if the federal mandate is still in effect. Also ask how long it takes to evict someone, you might as well know all the answers! Sorry this is so long...I have way too much info floating around in my brain sometimes

 

[Catscankim]

In the end, it didn't matter too much...one of the bartenders stole a bunch of the money. Makes me so angry. Can't trust anybody.

 

[Peachy Clean Soap]

Defiantly time for everyone to pre-arrange our final departure so family & dear friends aren't left w/ the burden of out ragious Funerals Cost. The Funeral Business Is A Multi Billion dollar business & they have you @ your most vulnerable time. I'd like to add my Uncle is an undertaker' so i've got a little birds-eye view in the Funeral Business over the years. Never Going Out Of Business' Ppl Are Dying To Get In' .

 

[Sudds]

Defiantly time for everyone to pre-arrange our final departure so family & dear friends aren't left w/ the burden of out ragious Funerals Cost. The Funeral Business Is A Multi Billion dollar business & they have you @ your most vulnerable time. I'd like to add my Uncle is an undertaker' so i've got a little birds-eye view in the Funeral Business over the years. Never Going Out Of Business' Ppl Are Dying To Get In' .

I bet your uncle has a repertoire of sick jokes as well! One of our friends owned a funeral home, you had to laugh, sick as they were.

 

[Sudds]

In the end, it didn't matter too much...one of the bartenders stole a bunch of the money. Makes me so angry. Can't trust anybody.

What a rotten thing to do! Isn't/wasn't there any way to get it back. Hope he lost his job! Hope everything got better for your friend once his sisters arrived.