I'm in Iowa and buy from The Lye Guy too. I am pleased with his service and prices overall.
Lye is heavy stuff, so it's just plain gonna cost more to ship due to its weight. There's no getting around that reality.
Suppliers are going to calculate a fair price for shipping and show it as such, or they are going to hide their shipping costs in the product prices and try to mislead buyers into thinking they're getting "free shipping." You have to look at the cost of the total order to know what supplier really has the best price. But I also factor in good customer service, quality of packaging, user friendly website, etc., so for me the company with the lowest cost isn't necessarily my preferred supplier.