Grumpy Owl, so, so sorry. Losing a pet - especially ones that have a special place in your heart - is so hard. Not just at the time, but after, when you find yourself forgetting and looking down to make sure they are not underfoot, waking up and instinctively checking, cocking your head to hear where the meow/scrabbling of little nails is coming from. Not sure it will help, but I think a lot of people who read about your furbaby will understand and grieve with/for you. I do.