Once upon a time, Princess Saponista was walking along Plymouth High Street on a bright sunny day. She had not a care in the world, her thoughts consumed by kittens, soaps and the delicious Oggie's pasty she happily eating. Suddenly, from the doorway of a Ladbrooks, a unicorn leapt out!
"Give me that pasty, init?" growled the unicorn, waving it's horn at the princess menancingly.
"Bog off!" said Princess Saponista, as she raised her own fists in the classic pugilistic manner.
The unicorn was rattled - normally people, especially ladies, would cower in terror and give up their tasty treats such as scones and pasties with no resistance at all. Taking advantage of the merest moment of hesitation, Princess Saponista grabbed the mane of the unicorn in one hand while fish-hooking it's mouth with the other, she forced the beast down to the ground.
"You still want my food, you Findus Ready Meal?!?" shouted the princess
"Gnargh" said the unicorn, it's mouth twisted. Saponista yanked at the mane a little more
"Do you?" she screamed. The unicorn managed to shake it's head, ears watering with the pain and humiliation.
"Good. Then get out of my sight" said the princess as she release the unicorn with a kick to the kidney. "And don't let me catch you round here again. This is MY town."
With the applause of the town-folk ringing in her ears, Princess Saponista went to get a good Devon cream scone.
"I bet that git comes from Cornwall" she thought to herself, as she strolled in to the tea rooms.
The end.
