Exotic milks in soap...

[Soapmaker Man]

I have heard of using sheep milk, alpaca milk, even camel milk in soap. How many have you heard of or tried exotic milks?

 

[anhoki]

I've heard of but never tried to use them. I'd be interested in hearing how that goes.

 

[IanT]

I use jaguar milk in my soap raaawwwr

 

[anhoki]

Now Ian....I've used coconut, goat, yogurt, and I ALMOST had some sheep. Just where might one find "jaguar" milk? :?:

 

[IanT]

well...you start by getting some meat...a deer...or maybe a cow leg....then you get a 20-30 ft rope.

now you must be in the forest...preferably in florida or somewhere tropical...

then here is where it gets a little tricky...you tie one end to said piece of meat...and one end to your waist...


then run...fast.

If your lucky youll cross paths with an animal trail one which a jaguar might be making its nightly journey for food...at which time it would either follow the trail of blood and smell of fresh meat that you left or it would start chasing the meat that youre running in front of...

now...once you have the jaguar in pursuit, you need to run reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly fast...kind of like catching a fish, youve got to tire him/her out..

it might take a little coordination to keep him interested. youve got to kind of let him catch up with you, then run fast to keep him juuuust behind the meat at all times and intent on catching it...


now once it starts panting like it cant run very much longer you can start slowing...try to fnid a biiiiig tree, run around it and stop. this is where you hope and pray that the jaguar is not chasing you, and really does want the meat attached to you instead of the thing that was pulling it.

since you are around the tree out of view, and the jaguar is most likely munching on a fresh meal now..tug on the rope a bit to see if there is any resistance. if there is give it another little tug...this will prolong its interest in the meal..

now you must sneak very very quietly around the other side of the tree (preferably behind the jaguar..) ...sneak up veeery quietly and this is the reallly tricky part (make sure you waited til it ate almost all of the meat)

now youve got to slowly work from the tail upwards...let it know your there...give it a little pet on the tail (if it snarls back off...its like chess)

you work you way slowly from the tail to the hind quarters...(hopefully you didnt forget your bottle at this point)...try to push against its top hind quarter to get it to flop on its side...this will do one of two things (or a combo of both) ...either youll get your face chewed off, or he will flop over lazily , fat from the meal just consumed.

now locate the nipples (but theres so many which one should i choose!!!!)

take one thats nice and fat...its kind of like milking a cow or goat (other than the fact that you could get eaten), same motions, you should harvest about 1cup of milk per jaguar so long as they are healthy.

...now getting back is all up to you...some like the sneak slowly back and run approach (be sure the meat isnt still tied to you) ...i prefer the wait til she goes away and then run like a bat out of hell approach..

Happy trails

 

[Guest]

this is where you hope and pray that the jaguar is not chasing you, and really does want the meat attached to you instead of the thing that was pulling it.

No, this is where you hope and pray that the jaguar is lactating. You're a riot!

 

[IanT]

yes yes it also helps quite a bit if its lactating lol

 

[anhoki]

Very interesting! Glad I asked. I will definitely have to make my way to Florida very soon. Thanks for the very detailed explanation....

 

[anhoki]

I clicked before I was finished....... I could not stop laughing and had animal noises in the background. This should be published.....

 

[beadella]

I'm guessing you would use pretty much the same method for any other large carnivore??? :wink:

 

[Becky]

:shock: @ Ian!

 

[IanT]

lol well you see there are several differences with other carnivores...for instance if I was going to try to milk a tiger , I would most likely use gazelle meat (you knwo...they munch those things like crazy!)...

suddle differences but the technique is still the same

edit: anhoki ...hehehehe lol

 

[mare61]

Now, how much milk could you expect to get in one milking, Ian?????

 

[anhoki]

If it would be a good 30 oz or so it'd be enough for a good swap or craft show batch. Hmmmmm...

 

[IanT]

I can see the advertisement now:

"this soap will leave you smooth as a panther in the night" muahahah

or something else..hmmm

"buy this. I risked my life so you could have it"


lol aaah I crack myself up

 

[beadella]

Gee, you could turn that into a radio/tv/print ad campaign, but getting the quantity you'd need for orders that would come ROLLING in from your growing fan base could be a challenge....................then next we see an expose' on one of those shows that do expose's about a Florida soap maker caught "watering down his famous feline milk with some of the bovine persuasion", and the jigs up for you ducky!!!!!

 

[IanT]

lol..... this could be a roadblock....hmmmm need recalculation...

maybe I could start BREEDING panthers lol...


then I could have a million of them Id just have to buy a cow every week or so to feed them or feed them unwanted neighbors and mean police-people ...lol


my girl would kill me if she saw that (half her fam is NYPD lol)...

 

[busymammaof3]

LOL You two are a riot! ;0)

Paul, I have not heard of using exotic milk in soap formulas. But it sure sounds interesting! Would be fun to try, for sure!

 

[cdwinsby]

Good lord....I go away for a few days and come back to find out that male (you refer to it as being a "he" :shock: ) jaguars lactate! Looks like I missed a chapter in sex ed. You learn something new every day......guess my husband could have had the other 2 children he wanted after all!

Good one Ian!

 

[Martin]

I have a friend that will make breast milk soap for moms that want to use their own breast milk called Baby and Me

Sonja