Big Rant...sister

[earlene]

Any news, Carolyn? Your mom has been on my mind. My brothers and I used to worry about this regarding my parents and one of our brothers, but after my mom died and my dad remarried, it became less of a concern. As it turned out however, that particular brother got disowned in the last will, so someone came to their senses in the whole thing. I have to say, though that it wasn't my either of my parents that came to that conclusion, but my step-mother and Good on Her say all the rest of us.

 

[cmzaha]

Newest update. Even though the Judge dismissed the Order of Protection with terms, my sister is not following the terms so I still am not going over to see Mom. I am working on the Converatorship papers and hopefully, they will be filed by the end of the month. Mom is going to hate me after this, but somehow her money has to be saved for her care and not having it spent on Cadallics. Sister bought one and it had to be with my mom's money since my sister has no money of her own. Just in case anyone is interested and gets caught up in a mess like this it is going to cost at least 25k to get this done. Sadly it will probably be more because my sister will use my mom's money to fight it. She wants the entire estate yet she just keeps spending mom's care money.

 

[zanzalawi]

you've been on my mind alot the last couple weeks
a freaking cadillac- unbelievable! she is despicable. i hope she gets what she has coming to her sooner rather than later!
can you see your mom if you had a police escort? or if you tried to visit and your sister escalated- would calling the police help your case any?
i took my daughter to stay at my parents house for a couple weeks in august and sat down with my parents and asked them about their plans, how they had things set up to protect themselves and to help the 3 of us take care of them properly.
this is such scary business

 

[cmzaha]

you've been on my mind alot the last couple weeks
a freaking cadillac- unbelievable! she is despicable. i hope she gets what she has coming to her sooner rather than later!
can you see your mom if you had a police escort? or if you tried to visit and your sister escalated- would calling the police help your case any?
i took my daughter to stay at my parents house for a couple weeks in august and sat down with my parents and asked them about their plans, how they had things set up to protect themselves and to help the 3 of us take care of them properly.
this is such scary business

It is very scary. What your parents need to do is have a good living trust and assign Durable Power of Attorney which goes into effect if they become unable to care for themselves or their assets. Greed is so ugly. What the fool does not seem to realize is the fact all the money for attorneys is coming right out of the estate. I will be filing for full reimbursement, and I guarantee she will hire an attorney with mom's money.

I could get a police escort, but the more she denies me the better for me in court. I am to send a text message informing her when I am going over to see mom and she is to leave. She does not acknowledge the messages anymore or if she does she tells me no. Legally I can go see mom, but I do not want to risk her trying for a restraining order here in CA that I will again have to fight. So UGLY...

 

[Kiti Williams]

Oh dear! All my prayers going up for a quick and proper ruling on all of this!

 

[Marilyn Norgart]

I could get a police escort, but the more she denies me the better for me in court.

I would think it wouldn't look good to have to have gotten a police escort. but you need to see your mom now--and use the police report in court

 

[shunt2011]

Carolyn, I'm so sorry you are still going through all this. She'll get her Karma sometime. Hopefully sooner than later. Stay strong for your mom. You're a pretty amazing daughter. I'm so grateful my parents have all their ducks in a row.

 

[dibbles]

So sorry this is still going on. The whole situation is just awful. I was so lucky that my parents had everything taken care of before the need arose. My FIL does as well, but my MIL has done nothing aside from a DNR order that had to be put in place before she could go into a temporary care facility last spring.

Your sister is pretty unbelievable. You are one strong woman.

 

[cmzaha]

My Mother and Step-father have/had a Living Trust, the problem is it does not allow for a Power of Attorney only a Medical Directive POA. Thankfully now that Father has passed, the Trust cannot be changed which I know my sister tried to get done with the Attorney and taking mom to the Attorney.

My attorney has a whole stack of charges against my sister that he is going after including fraud. We will see what happens.

 

[Rogue-Soaper]

Go see your mother at least once a week. If she is able you can take her on outings. A police report every week is a way to show the judge that your sister refused to let you see your mother and will show that despite your sister's efforts to keep you away, you visited on a regular basis. If you live in California, you may want to let the Public Guardian's Office get involved.

There are Elder Abuse laws in California, call the police and make a report against her for financial Elder Abuse.

 

[Kathymzr]

Very sorry for your dilemma. Keep protective services and a good lawyer handy.

 

[IrishLass]

Carolyn, has your sis hired an attorney yet? No matter....whether she has or not, keep screen shots of all your outgoing and incoming texts between you and your sister regarding visitation (especially those where she has said, 'no'), and give them to your lawyer. If your vindictive sister is saying 'no' to your court-ordered right to come over and see your mom, your lawyer can at least communicate with her lawyer in writing to tell your sis she needs to tow the line.....and then all of those documented communications can be added to your attorney's stack of evidence against your sis.

We are going through a similar type of situation right now with a family member and his soon-to-be-ex wife (who uncannily sounds a whole lot like your sister) who out of spite is trying to play every cruel, underhanded, dirty trick to keep said family member (and even our whole side of the family) from seeing his infant son. We have a court date scheduled in a few weeks for a judge to set down some court-ordered custody rules in the interim between now and when the divorce is finalized, because his soon-to-be-ex-wife is being so villainous and cruel about limiting and/or withholding visitation in the interim that it's downright evil if you ask me, not to mention excruciatingly heart-breaking for him. With help from all our family and friends pulling together, he's been able to procure a very good attorney, and I'm so glad he's got one to go to bat for him. Some of the tricks soon-to-be-ex-wife has tried to get away with have been curtailed by such back-and-forth communication going between his attorney and her attorney......although that hasn't stopped the soon-to-be-ex-wife from trying new underhanded tricks, which although heartbreaking and absolutely maddening at the moment, are a huge positive in that they are all being meticulously documented and are a deep hole that soon-to-be-ex-wife is only digging for herself and will go to work against her in court.

Keeping you in my prayers!


IrishLass

 

[Saponificarian]

Wow! Carolyn, I am so sorry you are going through all this. You have been on my mind in the last few days. Karma has a way of straightening people like this out, the unfortunate thing is, they never realize it’s what they have done that is haunting them. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayer.

 

[Nanette]

I am so sorry too, that you have to deal with this!

 

[Kathymzr]

Keep all correspondence, photos of your mom and her house, take her to the doc if you think she needs evaluation. Put her things in a trust with a lawyer you trust. Make the lawyer her guardian if you can. Visit often or move in. Put valuables on the trust. Let them redline the house and have her move inwith you. A court appointed guardian will prevent her from being coerced into sighnin anything. Be an angel.

 

[Nanette]

Yes

 

[Mobjack Bay]

Please try to take good care of yourself during these difficult times.