Missjulesdid
Well-Known Member
ok here are some of my favorites, but once they're used, you really can't use them again so I thought I'd share...
For anyone who is a manager you can tweak this one to suit your company culture and style, it is hilarious to hear all your employees getting mad until they realize it's a joke:
To: All employees
From: Your FLMs
RE: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom while using one of the "unavailable" phone codes. Unfortunately, this privilege has been abused to the point that it is adversely affecting our ASA and Abandonment rates. Effective April 10th 2008, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's off phone restroom time.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20. Restroom Trip Credits can be accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, Bill our from maintainance will be installing special badge swipe stations at each restroom entrance. The stations are equipped with a computer linked to your badge and a main database. Employees should acquaint themselves with these stations during that period. If an employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restroom will not unlock for that employee's badge swipe until the first of the month. Using another's badge will not be permitted and is grounds for termination. In addition, any restroom stalls that are occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract, the toilet will flush and the stall door will open. If the stall still remains occupied, your picture will be taken.
The picture will then be posted on our company's intranet site. This is being done to eliminate dilly-dallying in the restrooms in order to increase productivity. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated.
If you have any questions about the RTP, please see your Front Line Manager.
Other good pranks:
catbox cake.. make a catbox cake (If anyone wants the recipe ask me) and make sure you use a real catbox and scooper for presentation, also place it on a newspaper for effect and I like to put some tootsie roll turds on the newspaper and hanging over the side of the catbox.. Place the cake in the breakroom
Chocolate coated garlic cloves... yummy. Just make up a bunch and put them in a candy dish... or replace the filling of oreos with toothpaste.. I open the oreos, scoop out the very center of the filling, leaving the outside intact, then squeeze in the toothpaste, replace the oreo cover... you can't tell the inside is toothpaste. (don't give to smallbchildren because the floride in toothpaste is bad for kids)
go to your manager and act really upset, tell him or her that this this customer spoke with him around a month ago and demands to speak with him again... The customer refused to leave an order number and you can't find him anywhere in the system. The customer is threatening to call the BBB, attorny general, and Oprah if the manager does not call back immediately... Leave the customer contact information as : Mr. Lyons and the telephone number for any zoo or animal park. You need to get your boss good and nervous first so he will not catch on right away
ok, so anyone have any new pranks for me???? I'm out of ideas for this year
For anyone who is a manager you can tweak this one to suit your company culture and style, it is hilarious to hear all your employees getting mad until they realize it's a joke:
To: All employees
From: Your FLMs
RE: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom while using one of the "unavailable" phone codes. Unfortunately, this privilege has been abused to the point that it is adversely affecting our ASA and Abandonment rates. Effective April 10th 2008, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's off phone restroom time.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20. Restroom Trip Credits can be accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, Bill our from maintainance will be installing special badge swipe stations at each restroom entrance. The stations are equipped with a computer linked to your badge and a main database. Employees should acquaint themselves with these stations during that period. If an employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restroom will not unlock for that employee's badge swipe until the first of the month. Using another's badge will not be permitted and is grounds for termination. In addition, any restroom stalls that are occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract, the toilet will flush and the stall door will open. If the stall still remains occupied, your picture will be taken.
The picture will then be posted on our company's intranet site. This is being done to eliminate dilly-dallying in the restrooms in order to increase productivity. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated.
If you have any questions about the RTP, please see your Front Line Manager.
Other good pranks:
catbox cake.. make a catbox cake (If anyone wants the recipe ask me) and make sure you use a real catbox and scooper for presentation, also place it on a newspaper for effect and I like to put some tootsie roll turds on the newspaper and hanging over the side of the catbox.. Place the cake in the breakroom
Chocolate coated garlic cloves... yummy. Just make up a bunch and put them in a candy dish... or replace the filling of oreos with toothpaste.. I open the oreos, scoop out the very center of the filling, leaving the outside intact, then squeeze in the toothpaste, replace the oreo cover... you can't tell the inside is toothpaste. (don't give to smallbchildren because the floride in toothpaste is bad for kids)
go to your manager and act really upset, tell him or her that this this customer spoke with him around a month ago and demands to speak with him again... The customer refused to leave an order number and you can't find him anywhere in the system. The customer is threatening to call the BBB, attorny general, and Oprah if the manager does not call back immediately... Leave the customer contact information as : Mr. Lyons and the telephone number for any zoo or animal park. You need to get your boss good and nervous first so he will not catch on right away
ok, so anyone have any new pranks for me???? I'm out of ideas for this year
