Avoidance issues

[jewels621]

I, too, have been biting my tongue, not wanting to be goaded into lowering myself to even reply. Thank the good Lord for all of the intelligent "respect-has-to-be-earned" members of this forum. I learn so much from you each day....and I will continue to ignore the one that is obviously creating a negative stir. Much love to my favorite soapers!

 

[artemis]

... and not make assumptions about others, ...
They show quick contempt for others' point of view.

The way that something is said is important. Stepping in and saying, "Hey, did anybody else notice this" or "here's another way of calculating," that could have lead to worthwhile conversation. Instead, it was more like, "hey! I'm the only person who figured this out and you're too dumb to get it!"

That's a good reminder to me, though, to not enter a situation acting like I'm the Queen Bee. (I usually do-- one of my internet handles is Bossy Mrs B!)

 

[DeeAnna]

I agree with you, Artemis. I've gotten into hot water a few times online and in real life because the other person thought I was being stuck up, arrogant, or something along those lines. It's usually someone who doesn't know me well, so my nerdy quietness leads the person to draw the wrong conclusions about me.

It's especially tough online because people can't see me and get to know me, so I've learned (but obviously don't always succeed) to write as if I'm a more extroverted and less egg headed person than I am. My words come across better if I do that. But it can be a challenge at times to strike the right tone.

And to further complicate things, a person's annoyed or prickly reaction sometimes seems to be more about that person's own issues, and not really so much about me and what I am saying. It can be hard to sort that out.

 

[Kittish]

So glad I'm not the only one. I've been mostly just keeping my mouth shut because I'm still such a newbie. You can block people here? I may have to check that out. Reminds me of one person who showed up shortly after I joined that simply would NOT be told anything they didn't want to hear (I know, that narrows it down so much, right?).

ETA: Yes! It is possible to block someone. Takes a bit of finding, but it's there. Getting kind of entertaining actually, reading responses without wading thru the... other posts.

 

[artemis]

...one person who showed up shortly after I joined that simply would NOT be told anything they didn't want to hear (I know, that narrows it down so much, right?).

[emoji3] [emoji1] [emoji28] yes... We seem to go through cycles of a bunch of ordinary new members followed by more high octane members. If they don't mellow out right away they either storm out or just disappear.

 

[artemis]

Look! I saw the trainwreck and this time I walked away! Ok, ok. So I posted something earlier, but just now-- I walked away.

 

[DeeAnna]

I'm having a hard time tonight -- I have come very, very close in the last hour to breaking my promise to myself.

So ... I'm going to have to stop reading SMF for the evening. After I post this I will be turning my computer off, getting myself a big glass of good wine, and diving into the mystery novel I've been reading. I've been working my way through a bottle of Chilean Cabernet that someone left after a party, and it's quite good.

And maybe I will need to take Susie's advice tomorrow and learn how to block a person if this situation seems like it's going to continue much longer.

Good night, all......

 

[SaltedFig]

I'm away too ... off to do some work in the garden I think.

Enjoy your book and the Chilean ...

 

[annalee2003]

I would also like to say...if it's me im so sorry! I'm new here and I'm sure my ignorance is just shining through. But I'm certainly not trying to offend anyone or insult anyone. For goodness sake, you guys are brilliant!

I’m going to jump on the apology wagon as well.
I know I posted something in a thread recently that I probably shouldn’t have. I don’t post much. I like to sit back and read what others have said.
I admit that I got a bit caught up in all the hoopla though. I almost didn’t post anything, but for some reason I did. So for that quick snap judgement, I apologize.

 

[jewels621]

I, too, am shutting this off for the night and learning to block people tomorrow...I am writing this from the relaxing Caribbean and refuse to even read this persons posts anymore.

Before I sign off for the night, I just want to say how tremendously invaluable "this Deeanna person" is to me. Now I'm done.

 

[SoapAddict415]

Unfortunately, if people who know what they are talking about bite their tongues, then the loud crowd with no idea or messed up ideas are the ones who post which means that the information given out is bad at best. My view - the forum is primarily a place about making soap, so if someone is upset when I call them out on something about that then, within reason, too bad.

I appreciate it when someone who's more knowledgeable or experienced speaks up to dispel bad info. I love learning new things & I enjoy the scientific explanations that are sometimes given here so by all means, keep posting & correcting! Unfortunately there's so much bad info out there. For years I was under the assumption that hp soaps didn't require as long of a cure time as cp. I just recently found out that they do. I don't sell but I don't want to give away anything that's not going to be my best. Getting the right information ensures that I'm always giving my best.

 

[Susie]

I’m going to jump on the apology wagon as well.
I know I posted something in a thread recently that I probably shouldn’t have. I don’t post much. I like to sit back and read what others have said.
I admit that I got a bit caught up in all the hoopla though. I almost didn’t post anything, but for some reason I did. So for that quick snap judgement, I apologize.

It isn't you. I promise. Matter of fact, if anyone feels the need to apologize, it isn't you either.

 

[Millie]

Personalities will come out!
Sorry



.....*phew*

 

[jewels621]

Thought we all could take a little break and breathe this in for a moment.....

 

[artemis]

That doesn't look like Minnesota...

ETA: Yes! It is possible to block someone. Takes a bit of finding, but it's there. Getting kind of entertaining actually, reading responses without wading thru the... other posts.

Well, that's a good thing to know. I suppose it makes the entire thread a little difficult to follow. Or, makes everyone else look like the crazy guy who walks around arguing with an invisible friend. [emoji1]

 

[SunRiseArts]

lol Artemis.

Jewels were is that? I want to go there....

 

[bathgeek]

Unfortunately, if people who know what they are talking about bite their tongues, then the loud crowd with no idea or messed up ideas are the ones who post which means that the information given out is bad at best.

This, so much this. I have learned so much in my short time here on SMF because people who knew what they were talking about generously shared experience, knowledge, and advice. Please don’t self-censor too much.

 

[IrishLass]

I didn't see the more 'focused' turn this thread had taken until just now.

Unfortunately, if people who know what they are talking about bite their tongues, then the loud crowd with no idea or messed up ideas are the ones who post which means that the information given out is bad at best.

Ditto that 100%. If y'all don't know by now, the thread in question has been locked to further comments thank to our Relle, but I don't so much look at it as a train wreck as I do a thread filled with a lot of pretty awesome, detailed info, contributed and most wonderfully explained in so many different ways by several of the more knowledgeable among us, so that any newbie stumbling upon it ......or perhaps someone re-visiting it..... will have the best of chances to "get it" .......or hopefully "finally get it". When I was a newbie- those were the kind of threads I always seemed to learn the most from.

It also stands as a positive testament to the wonderful and giving and patient (yes patient- because it takes a lot of patience to show so much tongue-biting and hand-sitting restraint) group of folks we have here that so generously take precious time out of their days in the hopes of helping someone to 'get it' in order that they can be the best possible soapmakers they can be, or that truthful, expertly explained soapmaking info is put forth to dispel the myths. Y'all are pretty awesome.


IrishLass

 

[jewels621]

lol Artemis.

Jewels were is that? I want to go there....

Just got home late last night.....we were in Playacar, Mexico. The hubby and I snuck away before the holidays fully hit. It is beautiful there...we try to go a couple of times a year. This is the first time we've been there in the 20-some years we've been going, that it full-on rained cats and dogs for the first 5 days that we were there. It was still good to be there, but I couldn't help but think that I could have been home making more challenge soap! I won't have time now as Thanksgiving is at my house this year, plus 20ish people the next day for our community lighting festival to kick off the Christmas season. Why do I do this to myself? Fear not....I have at least one vacation a month planned until spring. Right now, it's just very good to be home and just so this ties in to the thread....I think avoiding winter is one of my issues. :snowman:

 

[toxikon]

Just got home late last night.....we were in Playacar, Mexico. The hubby and I snuck away before the holidays fully hit. It is beautiful there...we try to go a couple of times a year. This is the first time we've been there in the 20-some years we've been going, that it full-on rained cats and dogs for the first 5 days that we were there. It was still good to be there, but I couldn't help but think that I could have been home making more challenge soap! I won't have time now as Thanksgiving is at my house this year, plus 20ish people the next day for our community lighting festival to kick off the Christmas season. Why do I do this to myself? Fear not....I have at least one vacation a month planned until spring. Right now, it's just very good to be home and just so this ties in to the thread....I think avoiding winter is one of my issues. :snowman:

Ah very nice! I love Mexico. My fiance and I spent a week in Tulum a few years ago. I've been a few times with my parents as well. We're actually getting married on Isla Mujeres this May. I am beyond excited!