Am I overreacting?

[RockinRodeoChick]

Yes, I know. After I typed it out, I got to thinking about it and realize how bad an idea it really is to bother her.

 

[carebear]

oh my dear, I'm so so sorry!!!
sounds like a big, fat liar who makes excuses.

 

[BakingNana]

I'm sorry you are going through this. My sister had a similar situation 10 years ago. It took her quite a while to realize that the problem was his behavior and had nothing to do with her. He would have behaved that way REGARDLESS of who he was supposedly in a relationship with. They did go through a year of counseling, which ended with the counselor telling them that he had a narcissistic personality and obviously was not going to change, and she needed to decide whether she could live this way the rest of her life or leave. She left. She's been a much happier person ever since. I'm in no position to tell you that's what you should do, but I wanted to pass on what she learned in her situation.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time!

 

[Sibi]

Oh my....I'm so sorry that you are struggling with what to do. Don't feel like you have to rush...this is the rest of your life you are talking about so take your time and really think things through.

Based on what you've said it looks to me like your husband is in constant need of approval. It sounds like a personality flaw which is highly unlikely to change. The thing is, are you willing to live with it? You really haven't invested too many years in this relationship therefore now would be the best time to bail if you're going to end the relationship. You have your whole life in front of you to look forward to. However, this is all just me thinking out loud. You need to do what is best for you and what will make you happy. Take the time to look at all the angles before you make a decision.

Hugs!

 

[Hazel]

Yes, I know. After I typed it out, I got to thinking about it and realize how bad an idea it really is to bother her.

I was wondering if she even knows he's married. If he's lying to you, then he's probably lying to her, too. Years ago, my mom called one of my dad's girl friends and the woman was shocked to find out that the man she was "dating" was married. She stopped seeing him once she found out. Even though this woman dumped him, my mom still went ahead and got a divorce. She said she was tired of being hurt and that he'd never change.

I'm so sorry you're going through this type of situation.

 

[cwarren]

The reason this bothers me soooo.. First I have been cheated on IT SUCKS ! second my sisters husband cheated on her she found out and stayed because ( he said he only got BJ ) He is still cheating and WE all know and she does not believe us.. ( I know this because my daughter and her boyfriend rode with him in his truck (he's truck driver) and as she slept in bed of truck she could hear his conversation ) it just makes me sooo mad that he does it.... he made a promise to my sister when he married her !!! and sleeping around wasn't mentioned ... for me it doesn't matter what the other women think or know- he owes her to be faithful !!!!!!

 

[Deda]

It's a tough situation. I hope you find some peace, soon.
Is he rationalizing that if there was no actual physical contact that it really wasn't cheating? Not that I'd buy that excuse, but who knows what goes on in their brains.

For the record:
I think cheating on your spouse has to be the most vile thing anyone can do. Husband or wife, how can you look yourself in the mirror and know what you did to someone you love?

 

[ChrissyB]

Deda, I totally agree.
It's a horrible abuse of trust.

 

[Sunny]

Yes, I know. After I typed it out, I got to thinking about it and realize how bad an idea it really is to bother her.

I was wondering if she even knows he's married.

I was thinking this, too. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to contact her (if it were me in the situation) but I bet she doesn't know he's married.

I hate to throw my personal experience into the mix too, but.. maybe it does help. My friend found out her husband was cheating and contacted the girl he was cheating with. This girl had no idea he was married and told my friend everything they did together. So my friend got to know all the things her husband wasn't telling her. And the girl broke it off with him immediately, she was disgusted.

I'm truly sorry you have to deal with this. It makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[hieroglyph]

Thank you everyone for all the support. It's nice to know that someone else out there cares.

Well, it wasn't me. Apparently, his father had a nice long talk with him. We both found out this is the same reason his parent's marriage broke up. His dad was doing the same thing. .

no matter how hard we try..... we become our parents

you should be seeing red flags about now

video link added for maximum rodeo rockage


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqWP1rsAMrw"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqWP1rsAMrw[/ame]

 

[krissy]

i cant add too much except that i pray that you will do what is right for you.

 

[Tabitha]

Yes, I know. After I typed it out, I got to thinking about it and realize how bad an idea it really is to bother her.

I was wondering if she even knows he's married.

I was thinking this, too. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to contact her (if it were me in the situation) but I bet she doesn't know he's married.

I hate to throw my personal experience into the mix too, but.. maybe it does help. My friend found out her husband was cheating and contacted the girl he was cheating with. This girl had no idea he was married and told my friend everything they did together. So my friend got to know all the things her husband wasn't telling her. And the girl broke it off with him immediately, she was disgusted.

I'm truly sorry you have to deal with this. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I would absolutley make contact.I would not have a conversation with her, just an FYI: Just incase she did not know. He could be screwing her over too & she has the right to know.

 

[ChrissyB]

I agree that she needs to know what's going on, he is using both of you.