Apologize in advance - this is long so I don't blame some of you for not reading it all (brevity is not my strong point). I did a bit of emotional unloading elsewhere shortly after this happened but I've found that I'm still not all that over it and talking/typing/repeating it seems to help.
I have been more or less absent from this forum for a couple weeks now after going through the worst week I've experienced in a long time.
I've learned in the last couple weeks that I do not handle loss well. On Tues evening, 8/4, my pup Tikaani, who I've had for nearly 10 years, was found unresponsive in the backyard when I got home from my run after work. I rushed her to the ER where she arrested within minutes and they were unable to revive her. I don't honestly believe I've ever cried so hard and so long as I have with the loss of my beloved dog. And the selfish part of me feels that my grieving alone isn't enough to pay respect to her life and all she's done for me and those that met her which is why I felt I needed to post this. I cried for days, and if I wasn't crying over her loss, I had cried myself to sleep. Anyone that has ever met my dogs knows that I put their lives above even my own. The pain of this loss feels like it might never go away. To make it more painful, my husband was traveling on military orders so he wasn't here when it happened, and over the years she became more his dog than mine. He loved that girl more than I've seen him ever love any animal.
To make it all that much more painful, they did a clay print and an ink print but when I picked them up the next day they had spelled her name wrong on everything. I asked them if they could redo them since they still had her on site. They called us that evening to say it was done so we drove the half hour back to the clinic to pick them up. They failed to do the ink print (which we had clearly stated was the thing we really wanted, and couldn't care less about the clay print) but they had redone only the clay print. They told us someone was getting her from the freezer right at that moment and had to heat the paw up to do the ink print but that they were doing it right then and it would take about an hour. They asked if we wanted to stay but we asked if we could just pick up the ink print when we picked up her ashes that were being returned to us and they said that would be fine. We went home.
Friday night they called us to say her ashes had been returned and we could pick them up. We drove out once again to pick her up and asked where the ink print was. No one knew. As you can imagine, I had a complete and utter melt down in the office (maybe not the correct response but it had been extremely emotional for me and my husband and they didn't handled any of this properly). No one did the ink print, they don't know why and they had no answers for us. Now we have no body to create the ink print and no ink print...not even the original one. They told me they're investigating all their staff to figure out why things were handled so wrong and they would call us tomorrow. We head home with me in complete tears. I was more angry that they lied and told us someone had been starting it right then while we were standing there.
I get home, take her ashes out to set them on the mantle and pulled out the certificate. I instantly see red again. They spelled my name wrong on the envelope. I opened it to see the cremation certificate and names were all spelled wrong on this as well. I'm now another crying mess. It added insult to injury. There's nothing I can do to change any of it now but that doesn't make it hurt any less. In fact, it makes it hurt worse because I can't fix it for my husband and I know he was hurt because he was completely silent for the 3 days. He's not mad at me but he misses her and he doesn't communicate feelings well.
All of this put everything else we've had going on, on hold for almost 2 weeks. I stopped doing all business transactions (thank goodness my customers are gracious), I stopped making product...I'm lucky I made it to work the last couple weeks. I miss my dog and I feel silly and maybe somewhat dramatic for being this upset over an animal but she'd been through it all with me. She was with me through 5 deployments, and even the 3 years my husband was assigned unaccompanied in Germany. She was the first dog I had adopted after moving out of my parent's house. And it really stinks when my deaf pup catches a whiff from something that was hers and she runs around the entire house looking for her companion.
Thanks for letting me unload...
I have been more or less absent from this forum for a couple weeks now after going through the worst week I've experienced in a long time.
I've learned in the last couple weeks that I do not handle loss well. On Tues evening, 8/4, my pup Tikaani, who I've had for nearly 10 years, was found unresponsive in the backyard when I got home from my run after work. I rushed her to the ER where she arrested within minutes and they were unable to revive her. I don't honestly believe I've ever cried so hard and so long as I have with the loss of my beloved dog. And the selfish part of me feels that my grieving alone isn't enough to pay respect to her life and all she's done for me and those that met her which is why I felt I needed to post this. I cried for days, and if I wasn't crying over her loss, I had cried myself to sleep. Anyone that has ever met my dogs knows that I put their lives above even my own. The pain of this loss feels like it might never go away. To make it more painful, my husband was traveling on military orders so he wasn't here when it happened, and over the years she became more his dog than mine. He loved that girl more than I've seen him ever love any animal.
To make it all that much more painful, they did a clay print and an ink print but when I picked them up the next day they had spelled her name wrong on everything. I asked them if they could redo them since they still had her on site. They called us that evening to say it was done so we drove the half hour back to the clinic to pick them up. They failed to do the ink print (which we had clearly stated was the thing we really wanted, and couldn't care less about the clay print) but they had redone only the clay print. They told us someone was getting her from the freezer right at that moment and had to heat the paw up to do the ink print but that they were doing it right then and it would take about an hour. They asked if we wanted to stay but we asked if we could just pick up the ink print when we picked up her ashes that were being returned to us and they said that would be fine. We went home.
Friday night they called us to say her ashes had been returned and we could pick them up. We drove out once again to pick her up and asked where the ink print was. No one knew. As you can imagine, I had a complete and utter melt down in the office (maybe not the correct response but it had been extremely emotional for me and my husband and they didn't handled any of this properly). No one did the ink print, they don't know why and they had no answers for us. Now we have no body to create the ink print and no ink print...not even the original one. They told me they're investigating all their staff to figure out why things were handled so wrong and they would call us tomorrow. We head home with me in complete tears. I was more angry that they lied and told us someone had been starting it right then while we were standing there.
I get home, take her ashes out to set them on the mantle and pulled out the certificate. I instantly see red again. They spelled my name wrong on the envelope. I opened it to see the cremation certificate and names were all spelled wrong on this as well. I'm now another crying mess. It added insult to injury. There's nothing I can do to change any of it now but that doesn't make it hurt any less. In fact, it makes it hurt worse because I can't fix it for my husband and I know he was hurt because he was completely silent for the 3 days. He's not mad at me but he misses her and he doesn't communicate feelings well.
All of this put everything else we've had going on, on hold for almost 2 weeks. I stopped doing all business transactions (thank goodness my customers are gracious), I stopped making product...I'm lucky I made it to work the last couple weeks. I miss my dog and I feel silly and maybe somewhat dramatic for being this upset over an animal but she'd been through it all with me. She was with me through 5 deployments, and even the 3 years my husband was assigned unaccompanied in Germany. She was the first dog I had adopted after moving out of my parent's house. And it really stinks when my deaf pup catches a whiff from something that was hers and she runs around the entire house looking for her companion.
Thanks for letting me unload...
