I am so BORED!

[Guest]

It's Saturday, I have full staff at the daycare so the weekends are my true days off. After being a full time mom and full time business person for 27 years...this empty nest syndrom is for the birds.

I had my final interview and home inspection to be a foster parent so pray a lil bundle of joy is on it's way (not that I am wishing bad luck on any child having to enter the system, I understand that is not a good thing), right now I'm so bored I'll take any age.

I wake up, no one to wash but me
not hungry, no food in my kitchen anyway just soap supplies
waiting for a friend to call so we can go to the flea market and hang out
dressed 9 soaps in nice labels

YAWN my life is so hoooooo hummmmmmmm, how do empty nesters stand this, the silence is deafening to me!

 

[donniej]

No wonder you've been doing so much experimenting!

Whatcha doin' later? Maybe we can meet up at the diner and talk soap.

 

[Guest]

No wonder you've been doing so much experimenting!

Whatcha doin' later? Maybe we can meet up at the diner and talk soap.

Lemme tell ya the hot spot in Philly, the Pennsy Flea Market 34th(?) and Wharton, follow the signs under the expressway. I just got back, got there this morning it was packed. Nice lady put some of my soaps on her stand. $50 for the whole weekend, over 4,000 people a day.

I made $10 walking thru the door, my boyfr's brother in law has a stand, he brought 3 bars...then brought a skirt, a scarf, 4 hotdogs, soda, earrings...so up $10, down $40, I gotta stay outta that place.

 

[donniej]

There's also a craft fair this weekend at Penns landing I plan to go tomorrow... today I have sheets of teflon coated fiberglass to play with

 

[studioalamode]

YAWN my life is so hoooooo hummmmmmmm, how do empty nesters stand this, the silence is deafening to me!

I had four kids and three of them are out of the house. My 14 year old son is very quiet, not chattery like the girls were. And he keeps to himself a lot.

It sure is different not having all the chaos. It's like one day busy, busy, busy... shopping, listening to sisters argue, everyone jumping in the car to go somewhere, doors slamming, tromping up and down stairs, friends in and out, phones ringing.. then just as quickly as they came into the world, they are out the door. It is weird. And you're so busy in the middle of the chaos wishing things would quiet down, that when the din settles and you're left with yourself you're almost wishing for the chaos again!

Which is why I'm a craft addict I supposed... I just go from craft to craft, spend too much time on-line, overspend, watch TV while surfing the net all because I feel like something will fulfill me. And while I do get enjoyment from all of this, somehow my identity and purpose has changed. Like you - I don't enjoy cooking anymore, and soaping has become my kitchen experiment. Luckily, I have three young grandchildren, and when they visit (which is fairly often), the house seems full again. But what I have realized is that even though I still enjoy a full house, I don't have the kind of energy I had when everybody lived here. It is nice to send them back home. It's a strange conundrum, for sure. Talking on the phone to them is just not the same, but we do talk almost daily. Two live out of town, and I just found out my oldest is moving out of state in a few weeks. It's weird. Somehow I feel I know a secret, and I watch young mothers with their kids in all their busy-ness and I just want to tell them to enjoy it and take it all in while they can.

I look at my son with hair on his legs and freshly shaved chin, and all I can think of is.... our time to part is coming too. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

It's just life marching on, I guess. Sorry this was so long, everybody, I guess this topic just struck a chord with me.

 

[Guest]

Janet, you hit the nail on the head and no one warned me this day would come. My 4 out the house are boys...and my boys rarely call, like once a week, or every two weeks or even once a month is not unusual.

I talk to my daughter daily but she does not live with me. I carefully thought over this foster care thing. Did I really want to give up my freedom? Right now I'm committed to taking one kid. I have space for three. I'm going to let my heart guide me.

The hole in my heart is so big, because financial stability came when my kids were in their teens, and we were desparately poor when they were little. Yes I want to tell moms to savor that time when they are little. I wish I'd went to the park more with my children, and spent more time doing "projects" and talking. I was so focused on pulling us out of poverty I missed alot.

Now I can't wait to slather a kid with time and attention and a peaceful stable home. I just pray that god gives me the time and the strength on this earth to "do it again".

 

[studioalamode]

The hole in my heart is so big, because financial stability came when my kids were in their teens, and we were desparately poor when they were little. Yes I want to tell moms to savor that time when they are little. I wish I'd went to the park more with my children, and spent more time doing "projects" and talking. I was so focused on pulling us out of poverty I missed alot.

I'm sorry you are hurting. But I did the same thing... focused on trying to make a better life for everybody through my work, not realizing life was there right in front of me. I worked until 7:00 (when everyone else would leave at 4:30), then would be impatient trying to get everything done when I got home, including a sit-down dinner. I worked at getting out of my $10/hour job to executive pay, even taking a job in Texas while living here in Illinois. For a few years of their teen years I was flying out on Monday, flying back home on Friday and trying to cram "life" into the weekend. No wonder we lost control of our youngest daughter for about a year. I'm sure she felt neglected. I look at it now as a blessing that the company I worked for went out of business. The whole reason I took the job was to "make life better." Looking back, my kids say they didn't even realize we were "poor" when they were little... so I wish I had known that when you "chase the dream" one day you wake up. My girls' favorite memories were the simple things... turning off the lights, cranking up Madonna's "Vogue" and doing a style show with flashlights flashing. (It is one of my favorite memories, too), and having girl's day where each of them brought over a friend and we did hair and make-up while eating Quiche. It was the simplest things that made us all the happiest and brought us close together. Money has done nothing for us.


I think it is great that you are going to take on a foster child. There are so many kids out there who need a safe place to live with someone who loves them. You sound as though you are doing it for the right reasons and have a lot to offer. I wish you all the best as you move in that direction. And I hope you find a way to fill that hole.

 

[Guest]

Philly I hear you , the silence can be deafening .I am used to it now after 2 years . The child that gets to be your foster child will be truly blessed . We were dirt poor when I was young , the treats we got from aunts and uncles , meant the world to us , from an ice cream cone to second hand clothes. It doesn't take much to brighten up a child's face , sometimes just knowing they are loved will be everything to them. You are a very special lady .Kudos to you.

Kitn