How important is a good enagagement ring?

[Guest]

A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?
I don't think size is an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf doesn't think so. The other day, I bought this ring (link removed) for her. Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

 

[Dragonkaz]

I believe that the only value put on objects is the value we choose to put on them.

If a person likes jewellery, then maybe they like it to be showy. A bit like a person who likes to have a big showy car, or motor bike, or house etc.

When it comes to relationships, they can become very complicated when the views of the those in the relationship are different and unknown. I think when it comes to relationships it's important to discuss the known and unknown ... and to come to a suitable agreement.

My next question is ... what is your gf buying you and how big would you like it to be?

 

[carebear]

if your GF rejects the ring then your problems are just beginning. not seeing eye to eye on money and value is very hard on a relationship.
.

 

[Traceyann]

IMO if you have the right partner .....NOTHING ELSE MATTERS !!!!!

Marriage is only a peice of paper and some words, it doesnt make a relationship......

 

[DottieF.]

To me, a ring is the least important thing in a relationship. I was given my late mother-in-law's ring. It has a teeny tiny diamond (chip) but I love it because it was hers. I think your girlfriends reaction to the ring is just the tip of the iceberg. Dottie

 

[dagmar88]

if your GF rejects the ring then your problems are just beginning. not seeing eye to eye on money and value is very hard on a relationship.
.

just remembered your (very sound) advise, Carebear

engagement rings are a very important part of the divorce settlement. how else are you going to pay the lawyer?

 

[carebear]

Ha ha forgot about that one. :twisted:

 

[heyjude]

My dh bought me a diamond that he could afford when we got engaged. I was happy just to be together, but it always bothered him that he couldn't buy me what he really wanted.

Forward 6 years to Christmas time and he surprises me by saying that we are going diamond shopping. I "traded up" for a larger, but not pretentious stone and he felt happy that I had the ring he always wanted me to have.

We will be married 28 years this summer and while I do love my "new ring", more importantly, I still love my dh!

 

[lauramw71]

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[krissy]

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[carebear]

I clicked it a while ago - it was for a ring. a jewelry site, I think.

 

[lauramw71]

(deleted by admin)

 

[serfmunke]

Hmm, this will sound mean, maybe, but I am not trying to be. To give someone jewelry that they will like, you must know that person very well. Did you buy this ring thinking it would be the one she will cherish forever? Or did you kinda just point and choose? This gift should be well thought out. If she is a simple girl then a simple ring will do. If she is a bit fancy, then no, she will need something a little more high end. We all have different tastes and she will be wearing it forever, hopefully.

 

[krissy]

(deleted by admin)

 

[Tabitha]

if your GF rejects the ring then your problems are just beginning. not seeing eye to eye on money and value is very hard on a relationship.
.

Agreed. Everyone has an opinion on what good is also. To me good means modest, reasonable and tasteful. If my husband had presented me with a 2 c ring I would have turned him down. I would have viewed it as wasteful and flashy, 2 things I am not. Fortunately he presented me with a modest ring that had been in his family.

You both need to be on the same page. It does not matter so much which page, just so long as you agree on it.

 

[Tabitha]

Well girls, that was pretty rude to call him out on the forum like that. It is a different person. We (admin) are able to check IPs and locations. If either of you have an issue in the future I would appreciate you make contact with an admin or mod in private. This behavior is distasteful. Normally I would have sent this to you in private but it's one of those good for the goose, good for the gandor situations- me thinketh.

 

[Tabitha]

Dear Mr Vivid,

Sorry for the confusion, it looks like a couple of members mistook you for someone else. We are glad you are here.

 

[krissy]

it appears that i also owe Mr. vivid an apology. i am sorry that i assumed and publicly stated that i thought you were the same person as another member who has made posts similar to yours. i should have kept my opinions to myself and spoken with more tact. i do apologize.