HI, Hope this answers some of your questions:
This is what you need to do, this is the order I do it in.
Weigh your lye.
Weigh your liquic (start with water it's much easier)
Mix your lye into your water, not the water in to the lye.
Stir until the lye is all dissolved, then check every now and again to make sure it's dissolved, it should be clear by the end.
Weigh out your oils
Melt your solid oils
Pour your liquid oils into the melted solid oils. This will help your oils cool down.
Walk away for 10 mins or so.
Check your temps, either with a thermomenter, or just with your hand on the outside of the lye container, and the oils.
Just warm to the touch is fine, hot to touch walk away for a few more mintues.
Pour your lye water into the oils, stir, whisk, stickblend what ever you need to do to get trace. This is when you can dribble a little bit on the top of the mix and it stays for a second before sinking back in.
Pour into your mould.
Insulate/or fridge/freeze to prevent gel. But that's a whole 'nother topic.
This is pretty much the basic process, of course there are other steps for adding colour, fragrance, botanicals, etc, but for the time being I think you just need to get the hang of the basic process.
I hope this has helped some.