Welcome, Shaylyn! Lye does need to be respected, but yes- you are being way overly concerned! For what it's worth, lye is actually not a poison (just in case you were thinking it was). Lye's danger stems from it's super high alkalinity which is very damaging to things like our skin and mucus membranes. Yes- it can damage your eyes, but only if you actually get it directly in your eyes, which is why we strongly advocate wearing goggles when making soap. If you do happen to get it in your eyes, rinse, rinse, rinse with copious amounts of water immediately.
It can also damage your skin if you let it sit there and do not rinse it off with water. You'll know without a doubt you've gotten it on your skin by the burning/itching sensation that eventually follows. Just rinse with plenty of water.
Also, do not breathe in the vapor when making your lye solution. Either use a mask of some kind or a ventilator, or make the solution outside where the breeze is blowing the vapor away from you. For what it's worth, the vapor is very short-lived. Once the lye solution is cooled down enough, there's no more vapor to worry about. I hold three triple-folded tri-ply cotton diapers over my mouth and nose when mixing my solution.
Some good things to know about lye: Lye, when exposed to air, reacts with the carbon dioxide in the air and will eventually turn into harmless sodium carbonate, and when it's diluted with enough water to bring its alkalinity down, it is rendered harmless.......so you need have no fear about washing your dishes in the same sink in which you've washed your soaping equipment. By that time, it's been so diluted that you can take a bath in your sink with no worries. For what its worth, all of my stainless steel pots and stainless steel utensils that I use for soaping pull double duty around my house for cooking and we are all fine (I've been making soap for 13 years now). Lye solution is also added to lotions in minute amounts to balance the pH.
If it makes you feel any better, I actually even cook with lye and I'm still here and not damaged in any way by it. When I make my
soft German pretzels, for example, I brush them with a mild lye solution before baking- that's how they have been traditionally made for years. The lye wash is what gives them that authentic and distinctive pretzel-y taste. Besides pretzels, several other foods are processed with lye, such as Dutch chocolate, olives, hominy, lutefisk (a Nordic dish of fish that's been soaked in lye), Asian noodles, etc.... As a matter of fact, my local Asian market sells prepared lye solution for making noodles.
Having said all of that, please do not drink lye solution or eat lye. It needs to be brought to the proper, safe dilution when using it to make food.
ItishLass